You ever feel like.... Vol.Quarter life crisis/Another bro vent thread

[truseone]

There's an old saying:

 Always expect the best . However, on the way to the " best ", take a look at " just alright" and get used to that, because you might not get any further that.

Its sad but true.

I think part of the problem is that we have these expectations, that are the result of other people's  paradigms, which that are pushed on all of us throughout life by our families in school...society..etc. Giving it all in school busting your *** should equate to some level of success right ? When you get out into the world however, that's not exactly the case.I think that's where the disappointment  and depression comes from. Plus, the capriciousness  of the economy is a major factor to that as well.

I liked the story about the gentleman's brother who decided to align himself with his own expectations and go the culinary route. Good luck to him!

 

[kickstart]

Start over. Start from where you are and formulate a plan of action. Disregard others advice unless it's fool-proof.

The decisions you make may seem nonsensical but if you feel they're right then do it! No one taught George Washington how to be the 1st President but he managed.

You will too. Best of luck!

 

[Good Ol J.R]

yeah but I'm really young and have no time to complain. Im just trying to learn and let all the BS from people I don't really love on that family level go away. I was pent up all the time this past school year with nothing but regret. Now today all I could think about is how anticipated and ready I am to reach that next of level of success. OP you are several years older than me but if I knew you in real life there is a good chance I'd look up to you.

Music and talking to those people I am friendly with around campus has helped me out this year as well as following through with plans with other people (I.e. making sure my group projects are fulfilled, hanging out with certain friends etc). It depends on what you are really passionate about but that's why you and I need to keep trying new things until everything turns out to be okay.

Also humor is beneficial to everything. It makes every tough situation better.

Wow bro, I don't even know what to say. I was like you when I was in school. I made sure I stayed in constant contac with others, ran a couple of student orgs, helped started a chapter of a business fraternity (AKPSI, SPR. 11) and did what I had to do to make sure I got through college. You almost to that next level, fam.

Hey JRA,

My brother was in a somewhat (yet different) situation.  He's 26 right now.  Back when he graduated college, he was having a hard time finding a job as an IS/IT major.  He's a smart kid, got great grades, but can be lazy and scatterbrained at times.  Anyway, I was able to help him get in the door with the company I started out with here in Philly because I had a lot of connections there.  He was happy to have the job, but as the months went on, it became clear the job and maybe office life in general wasn't for him.  He was reviewing US Customs paperwork to have ocean shipments imported and exported from the US.  A few times he was promised more IT related projects and other new roles, but the projects were either extremely short term or really were just managers talking and not delivering.

I know this back story doesn't really relate to your situation, but hopefully the next part may.

Two months ago, he told me and my parents that he was quitting his job and going back to school.  I thought he was going to go for his MBA.  Well, that wasn't the case.  On May 1, he's beginning an 8 month certificate program at the Institute of Culinary Education in New York City.  Like I said, my brother was an IS/IT major in college.  He has no restaurant/hotel/hospitality management skills.  Hell, I didn't even know he was interested in cooking.  The most I've ever seen him cook is putting a Hungry Man in the microwave.  But the main thing here is that my brother, a kid who generally would spend his nights and weekends playing video games and drinking beer instead of looking for ways to further his business career, took the chance and initiative to go into something completely new and foreign to him.  He applied, interviewed, was accepted, got financial aide, and found housing all on his own without really consulting with anyone.  That was the part that shocked me even more than he was going to school to become a chef.

So I guess the moral of the story is, maybe you need to step back and re-evaluate what jobs you are currently looking at.  Is there something else you really want to do?  I know money may make things difficult, but this could be the point where you really have the opportunity to take a chance at something you may end up loving.

Good luck man, and if you ever need any help or advice, just let me know.

Appreciate this story 4W. I've been thinking about going back for a 2nd BA instead of a MA right away but I still need to figure out what it is I want to do. I have a lot of passions and interests so I gotta sift through them all but like I said earlier, I think I may start really laying the groundwork for my NPO.

I know exactly how you feel OP, I'm turning 25 in October and I've been thinking a lot about how life's gonna turn out for me.
I went to vocational school when I was 21 to become an LVN and eventually proceed with my RN but working as a nurse these past couple of years I've grown to realize that nursing is not for me. So I'm starting over this summer and going back to school to try and do something totally different (political science) and it scares the hell out of me. I spend a lot of nights just laying in bed thinking about what am i doing? The main thing that's motivating me is that I'm finally doing something for myself and not for people around me. You feel? And I guess that would be my advice to you, do something for yourself man. Cause in the end you gotta be happy with yourself.

I know what you mean. I appreciate the words fam.

I want to thank you all for the kind words, guys. It's making me feel a lot better and giving me the resolve that I need to push through.

I actually have an interview tomorrow I just got not long ago. Pay is a few cents above Minimum wage (LA County) but its something to at least help get these bills down.

 

[Top Boy]

Starting to feel that way about college and im only a freshman.

Im not dropping out though.

 

[melo0115]

i feel the exact same way at this point of my life. i'm 25 and most the jobs i've had have only been temporary or seasonal positions. i haven't worked since 2012. i have some college education no degree. i am taking one class now and my focus just isn't there i am struggling. my days consist of waking up eating going to the gym filling out job applications online, going to games with my girl, and watching netflix until 3am. i don't know what to do with myself. i don't have a passion for anything. i've had interviews and they never work out and i refuse to go back to working retail for $9-$11 an hour. i know times are bad and slow money is better than no money but i feel like my time is worth more than that. i wish i had somebody to talk to regularly but i don't have medical insurance. i have sold off most of my shoes already, i am living with my family rent free but i don't know how much longer i can take it. i don't do drugs i do drink some times maybe 1-3 times a week. i have problems sleeping, i can't fall asleep i tried everything zzzquil works but i don't want to be depended on it. i feel like i am in a definite quarter life crisis.

Son, I had to check to see if I some how inadvertently wrote this.. You know what that means, we're some severely below average dudes.. I know where I'm going but my non technical discipline and planning are slowing down what I'm going for in life tremendously. Your stressing which is causing the lack of sleep, you need to find something and do it, help some people out in your community, or start working on a skill, stop wasting your time watching life on netflix and live it yourself... I only give this info because i'm suffering from this, but im slowly pulling myself out, im ready for the next level, im ready to live exactly how I want....

 

[captnaj phd]

I was in your shoes a few months back. I was 24, I hadn't had a job in about 10 months (and please believe I was filling out dozens of apps a day), I was just about to have to move back in with my parents because I couldn't pay the rent, I had a baby I could barely do **** for financially...to put it succinctly, I felt ******.

I was facing the very real possibility of being a failure at 25. That'll **** with your self-confidence in a brutal way.

I decided at some point to use the time to figure out what direction my life was going to take. I wasn't doing **** else, so I had plenty of time to sit and ponder what exactly it was that I wanted to do. The entry-level job market is buttocks and will only get worse as companies phase these type of jobs out, so I figured I might as well try and use a skill of mine to try and make a living instead.

I always loved to write, so I used my borrowed time to thoroughly research what it would take and search my soul to see if I had it. There's a big gap between posting on lunch as a hobby and relying on writing to fund your life.

Things are a little different now. Since then, I was able to find a little gig writing online to generate an income, move in with baby and girlfriend, I can concentrate on my writing career while practicing my technical skill for money, and I even have more time for NT. ****, I was even able to make my office look like a giant 'Boys sleeve stripe. Not saying my life is perfect now, but I'm a lot happier than I was.

Got a little money my ex-employer felt they owed me and that helped, but even if I had had to move back in with the parentals, I would have had a steady source of income that I could have eventually gotten my **** right with.

The moral of the story is that you have to believe that you're too good at something to have your life fail, then actually get good enough at it to have it be the truth. Whether that involves more school (plenty of financial aid out there), making a little side money to keep your life going until you figure things out (I scooped Italian ice under the table for an extended period last summer), or just plying a trade you're already skilled at and passionate about, it's about making your own way. 

It gets better. Or at least, it can. You just need to figure yourself out...and maybe a little luck. 

Good luck, homie.

 

 

[rook]

Anybody else thinks that in our society, we are seeing more and more "young" successful wealthy people and it's...in a way...making grads/college students impatient to reach that goal? I mean...its so rare for anyone to become a millionaire let alone being a wiz kid and coming up with a hit app or website...but it gives kids/young adults a sense of false hope

 

[jking0821]

I am in i similar but different situation from OP. I am 25 years old. Have a good job/career but i am already extremely complainant. I am a government employee, work at a desk in the field i graduated college in. I am paying back college loans through the roof....i make a decent salary but it really doesn't matter when you pay $1,100 a month in college loans. I might as well be debt free working minimum wage.

Its scary to look at my life being like this every day for the next 40 years. I am 25...single...live in the suburbs with a 65 mile drive to work every day. I just can't afford to move until the end of the year when/if i get a raise. The monotony of feeling like your just wasting away. And at this point the only thing i am passionate about is working out...and playing soccer..i feel like other then that i have no flare for life...i crawl through my days just waiting to go relieve stress at the gym or on the soccer field where i feel like an actual human. I am so busy that my social life suffers and every girl I meet i am bored of within 2 times hanging out....i don't know if its me...or them...but I just feel so mentally stale.

 

[Good Ol J.R]

I was in your shoes a few months back. I was 24, I hadn't had a job in about 10 months (and please believe I was filling out dozens of apps a day), I was just about to have to move back in with my parents because I couldn't pay the rent, I had a baby I could barely do **** for financially...to put it succinctly, I felt ******.


I was facing the very real possibility of being a failure at 25. That'll **** with your self-confidence in a brutal way.


I decided at some point to use the time to figure out what direction my life was going to take. I wasn't doing **** else, so I had plenty of time to sit and ponder what exactly it was that I wanted to do. The entry-level job market is buttocks and will only get worse as companies phase these type of jobs out, so I figured I might as well try and use a skill of mine to try and make a living instead.


I always loved to write, so I used my borrowed time to thoroughly research what it would take and search my soul to see if I had it. There's a big gap between posting on lunch as a hobby and relying on writing to fund your life.

Things are a little different now. Since then, I was able to find a little gig writing online to generate an income, move in with baby and girlfriend, I can concentrate on my writing career while practicing my technical skill for money, and I even have more time for NT. ****, I was even able to make my office look like a giant 'Boys sleeve stripe. Not saying my life is perfect now, but I'm a lot happier than I was.

Got a little money my ex-employer felt they owed me and that helped, but even if I had had to move back in with the parentals, I would have had a steady source of income that I could have eventually gotten my **** right with.


The moral of the story is that you have to believe that you're too good at something to have your life fail, then actually get good enough at it to have it be the truth. Whether that involves more school (plenty of financial aid out there), making a little side money to keep your life going until you figure things out (I scooped Italian ice under the table for an extended period last summer), or just plying a trade you're already skilled at and passionate about, it's about making your own way. 


It gets better. Or at least, it can. You just need to figure yourself out...and maybe a little luck. 

Good luck, homie.


 

See I love to write myself. I was writing for Sportie LAs blog for a bit so I was able to transition out of academia writing to my own style and voice of writing. How did you come across the paid writing gig? This would be so beneficial to me.

 

[Good Ol J.R]

I

Anybody else thinks that in our society, we are seeing more and more "young" successful wealthy people and it's...in a way...making grads/college students impatient to reach that goal? I mean...its so rare for anyone to become a millionaire let alone being a wiz kid and coming up with a hit app or website...but it gives kids/young adults a sense of false hope

I wholeheartedly agree with this. That's what I catch myself doing: comparing myself to my friends/associates who have graduated and can find jobs super easy or have their careers taking off. I'm surrounded by success yet I can't achieve it my damn self smh.

 

[moderndarwin]

I understand and was in your shoes. I was 24, over $35,000 in all sorts of debt without direction and jobless.

I'm 27 now, free of all credit card, small $150/month student loan affordable (who cares about interest, cash flow is king at our age), and 3/5th of the way through a masters in finance and accounting (with a 3.9 gpa), have a beautiful gf (for the first time in my life), and am in better shape, confidence, self-belief than I have ever been in.

It's possible bro.

For me, it took leaving the US. I moved to South Korea and taught English for the past three years. I changed my habits, ate healthier, had a LOT more free time, haven't had to drive for three years, and was able to pay off $1,200 of debt a month. I learned how cluttered my life is.

Not everyone can up and leave and change. That is what it took for me. Going to a country where the expectations are different. My advice is to simplify. Take pleasure and pride in the little things. I wake up everyday (and have done this for the past two years now), make my bed and make a to do list. Sometimes it is silly as, shex with my hot gf, buy kale, make juice, do core exercises, and library from 3-5. Being able to check off those things makes me feel like I ended the day better than I started though. End your showers with ice cold water . It is shown to fight depression (and just wake you the heck up). Honestly, it is hard to explain how I went from smoking everyday without a clue how or what to get a job in, and to the person I am today. Don't want to write an essay. As I've learned people rarely care about your story, but rather if your story helps draw self conclusions. If you want some advice or just to talk feel free to pm me.

On that note my simple advice:

1. If you don't already, learn to breathe through your nose. This changed my life more than anything else. Stopped getting sore throats. Haven't been sick in over a year and a half.
2. End your showers with ice cold water (~1 to 2 minutes is sufficient)
3. Make a to do list everyday
4. Use Linked In and other similar type networking tools to get a job. This is how I got an interview with the Warriors. They said 8,000 people applied. The other 3 people interviewing had family that worked for the Warriors. I simply messaged an employee that happened to be an alumni of my college and said "Hey, looks like we both went to xyz college. I was checking out the Warriors website and am interested in the sales operation jobs. Would you mind giving me a few tips on what I could do to give myself a better chance to get an interview? The guy replied, said call me, we chatted, i sent him my resume, he gave it directly to the hiring manager and put in a good word.
5. If you are so broke without a hope look into debt consolidation. Can't worry about future credit scores.


Give yourself a chance for the present, and the future will fall into place.

 

[captnaj phd]

See I love to write myself. I was writing for Sportie LAs blog for a bit so I was able to transition out of academia writing to my own style and voice of writing. How did you come across the paid writing gig? This would be so beneficial to me.

Lots of Googling. There's some scams out there, but there's definitely money to be made. A couple of really good ones are oDesk (they also have all other types of jobs like call center and data entry), Write.com and Demand Media Studios. Freelancing can be tough at times, but the pay can be nice and the freedom is unparalleled.

I might need to start a work-from-home thread.

 

[bawayfrombless]

harder you fall stronger youll bounce back man.

and start with small goals that you can show your self you can achieve.
small steps instead of worrying big picture and feeling overwhelmed.


similar situation here

 

[joepac12]

I have no clue where my life would be without the tree...i would have alot more cash though

Same here bro. Sour is a hell of a remedy lol

 

[joepac12]

I understand and was in your shoes. I was 24, over $35,000 in all sorts of debt without direction and jobless.

I'm 27 now, free of all credit card, small $150/month student loan affordable (who cares about interest, cash flow is king at our age), and 3/5th of the way through a masters in finance and accounting (with a 3.9 gpa), have a beautiful gf (for the first time in my life), and am in better shape, confidence, self-belief than I have ever been in.

It's possible bro.

For me, it took leaving the US. I moved to South Korea and taught English for the past three years. I changed my habits, ate healthier, had a LOT more free time, haven't had to drive for three years, and was able to pay off $1,200 of debt a month. I learned how cluttered my life is.

Not everyone can up and leave and change. That is what it took for me. Going to a country where the expectations are different. My advice is to simplify. Take pleasure and pride in the little things. I wake up everyday (and have done this for the past two years now), make my bed and make a to do list. Sometimes it is silly as, shex with my hot gf, buy kale, make juice, do core exercises, and library from 3-5. Being able to check off those things makes me feel like I ended the day better than I started though. End your showers with ice cold water . It is shown to fight depression (and just wake you the heck up). Honestly, it is hard to explain how I went from smoking everyday without a clue how or what to get a job in, and to the person I am today. Don't want to write an essay. As I've learned people rarely care about your story, but rather if your story helps draw self conclusions. If you want some advice or just to talk feel free to pm me.

On that note my simple advice:

1. If you don't already, learn to breathe through your nose. This changed my life more than anything else. Stopped getting sore throats. Haven't been sick in over a year and a half.
2. End your showers with ice cold water (~1 to 2 minutes is sufficient)
3. Make a to do list everyday
4. Use Linked In and other similar type networking tools to get a job. This is how I got an interview with the Warriors. They said 8,000 people applied. The other 3 people interviewing had family that worked for the Warriors. I simply messaged an employee that happened to be an alumni of my college and said "Hey, looks like we both went to xyz college. I was checking out the Warriors website and am interested in the sales operation jobs. Would you mind giving me a few tips on what I could do to give myself a better chance to get an interview? The guy replied, said call me, we chatted, i sent him my resume, he gave it directly to the hiring manager and put in a good word.
5. If you are so broke without a hope look into debt consolidation. Can't worry about future credit scores.


Give yourself a chance for the present, and the future will fall into place.

What program did u work with to allow you to teach in Korea. My brother is doing that now and making good money.

 

[markangelo]

dude, some ppl have it way worse than you.. count your blessings man, least u got food, shelter, clothing..sometimes, you have to hit rock bottom before you go up..Always remember man, god gives the hardest battles to the strongest soldiers 

Peace man 

 

[joepac12]

^ good quote man.

 

[Good Ol J.R]

I understand and was in your shoes. I was 24, over $35,000 in all sorts of debt without direction and jobless.

I'm 27 now, free of all credit card, small $150/month student loan affordable (who cares about interest, cash flow is king at our age), and 3/5th of the way through a masters in finance and accounting (with a 3.9 gpa), have a beautiful gf (for the first time in my life), and am in better shape, confidence, self-belief than I have ever been in.

It's possible bro.

For me, it took leaving the US. I moved to South Korea and taught English for the past three years. I changed my habits, ate healthier, had a LOT more free time, haven't had to drive for three years, and was able to pay off $1,200 of debt a month. I learned how cluttered my life is.

Not everyone can up and leave and change. That is what it took for me. Going to a country where the expectations are different. My advice is to simplify. Take pleasure and pride in the little things. I wake up everyday (and have done this for the past two years now), make my bed and make a to do list. Sometimes it is silly as, shex with my hot gf, buy kale, make juice, do core exercises, and library from 3-5. Being able to check off those things makes me feel like I ended the day better than I started though. End your showers with ice cold water . It is shown to fight depression (and just wake you the heck up). Honestly, it is hard to explain how I went from smoking everyday without a clue how or what to get a job in, and to the person I am today. Don't want to write an essay. As I've learned people rarely care about your story, but rather if your story helps draw self conclusions. If you want some advice or just to talk feel free to pm me.

On that note my simple advice:

1. If you don't already, learn to breathe through your nose. This changed my life more than anything else. Stopped getting sore throats. Haven't been sick in over a year and a half.
2. End your showers with ice cold water (~1 to 2 minutes is sufficient)
3. Make a to do list everyday
4. Use Linked In and other similar type networking tools to get a job. This is how I got an interview with the Warriors. They said 8,000 people applied. The other 3 people interviewing had family that worked for the Warriors. I simply messaged an employee that happened to be an alumni of my college and said "Hey, looks like we both went to xyz college. I was checking out the Warriors website and am interested in the sales operation jobs. Would you mind giving me a few tips on what I could do to give myself a better chance to get an interview? The guy replied, said call me, we chatted, i sent him my resume, he gave it directly to the hiring manager and put in a good word.
5. If you are so broke without a hope look into debt consolidation. Can't worry about future credit scores.


Give yourself a chance for the present, and the future will fall into place.

Man I wish you kept the story going lol but I definitely appreciate it. I thought of leaving the country myself but id be afraid of leaving my moms and my girl (the two most important people in life) behind but I believe they would understand. My cousin taught in Korea for 6 months and had the time of his life there.

The other tips I will definitely implement.. I definitely need to look into debt consolidation as well. Thanks so much bro


I had my interview today. Total waste of time. They called me the same day to come in today just to tell me they were looking for someone who had a different type of experience I had, which I STILL had to offer :Saul good. Just gotta keep at it.

 

[shoeking2101]

Put everything you have into something of your interest. I am talking about everything you have. Forget your phone, social media, friends, etc. Work toward something you want to achieve 24/7. You will achieve that or some opportunity will come along. Most people are not about this life however.

Most of the successful people become millionaires and billionaires in an age way older than 25, thats how I look at it.

Good luck

Needed to read this. Goodlook bro

 

[suberzat1]

Read the first six post and I like forget all this reading. Join the military get back into school N continue living your life bro

 

[216301baller]

Jking I feel you all the way man :\

 

[Good Ol J.R]

I hope this can become a vent three where you feel like you're in a rut and you can just sceam/vent/let it out.

I feel a lot better now. I'm breathing through my nose, I'm focusing on the more positive things in my life. Hell, I even got a glimmer of hope from this job I interviewed for that would start me at close to 40k and I've always wanted to work for since I was like 4 (Los Angeles Metro....if you been to my transit bus threads, you know I love buses )

So here's to happy thoughts, positive outlooks and new beginnings

 

[antidope]

I hate my job and everyone here. I havent spoken to anyone without being spoken to first since Monday. I just want them to leave me the hell alone and they refuse to do so. I just wanna do my work and go home, I dont want to be anyones friend.

 

[acemaster193]

Join the military, get those school loans paid off (if any), acquire or enhance your skill sets, get out, go finish your masters on govt aid, and start caking.

 

[acemaster193]

I hate my job and everyone here. I havent spoken to anyone without being spoken to first since Monday. I just want them to leave me the hell alone and they refuse to do so. I just wanna do my work and go home, I dont want to be anyones friend.

Damn, what's been happening?