Boy-Girl Friendships?

[bboy1827]

I"m glad people are finally defining it. My question is if you called your significant other let's say two to three times a week and they were kickingit with the same person, a person that they've known since forever a person that has been raised with them, a person that they took baths with etc. youreally wouldn't think anything of it? like I stated before you are a better person then me because me.

 

[chickencurry4eva]

I fail to understand how this is NOT possible. You dudes are sayin that u went through high school and college WITHOUT any female friends? that you had yourdudes and every female u talked to u either smashed/tried smashing? Maybe its different after u leave college but i had plenty of female friends in hs andfemale friends now (in college), but i smash other chicks. Havin female friends in your social circle is essential, it can only help you..

 

[the wizard]

Originally Posted by bboy1827

guys and girls can't be friends if one of them is in a relationship because it's not fair to the other person.

you're bugging.

i got a gf and i have a best friend that is a girl. i think nothing about her sexually, and she doesn't think of me sexually either. however, we are soclose that everyone thinks that we have/had a thing together. ironically enough, the only person who doesn't believe that is my gf because our relationshipis like a twin brother and sister type thing. if i need a ride, she'll take me. if i need a favor and my girl can't do it, she'll do it, and viceversa.

I don't see why girls and guys can't be friends. I never knew that every person in the world held true to the generic stereotypes of life. I have tonsof girl friends that I would never have sex with, because they are cool people to chill with and it doesn't have to be about sex with everyone.

Call me idealistic, call me foolish, but I'd be the last to try and control who my girl tries to hang out with, because I would be heated if she put me inthat same situation. Plus if you are really nervous about things like that, you probably need to reevaluate the relationships you are in right now, and Idon't even mean in terms of dating

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by bboy1827

I"m glad people are finally defining it. My question is if you called your significant other let's say two to three times a week and they were kicking it with the same person, a person that they've known since forever a person that has been raised with them, a person that they took baths with etc. you really wouldn't think anything of it? like I stated before you are a better person then me because me.

if he's known her for forever than what can i do about that? i'm the new one so i can't just walk in his life and tell him he can't talk tosomeone he's know forever...just like i can't stand when my guy friends get a new girl and she's mad we are cool...how you gonna walk into asituation and be upset about something that was here before you...

 

[bboy1827]

Two points before I go to bed.
1. I never said anything about control or sex, you guys assumed that
2. I have girl friends, always have always will, but same time I know bounds and limitations

Alot of people in this thread are assuming alot especially about me, I'm working off empirical evidence I have never seen it work out well, my bad if Ioffended people.

 

[bboy1827]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by bboy1827

I"m glad people are finally defining it. My question is if you called your significant other let's say two to three times a week and they were kicking it with the same person, a person that they've known since forever a person that has been raised with them, a person that they took baths with etc. you really wouldn't think anything of it? like I stated before you are a better person then me because me.

if he's known her for forever than what can i do about that? i'm the new one so i can't just walk in his life and tell him he can't talk to someone he's know forever...just like i can't stand when my guy friends get a new girl and she's mad we are cool...how you gonna walk into a situation and be upset about something that was here before you...

didn't answer the question, you'll be cool with that? Him kicking it with the same girl all the time thats not you?

 

[litlbibby]

Originally Posted by bboy1827

Two points before I go to bed.
1. I never said anything about control or sex, you guys assumed that
2. I have girl friends, always have always will, but same time I know bounds and limitations

Alot of people in this thread are assuming alot especially about me, I'm working off empirical evidence I have never seen it work out well, my bad if I offended people.

i apologize if i had seemed to shoot you down. i agree in parts with what u sayin its just i think it all depends largely on the individuals.

 

[mytmouse76]

if you have female friends then i'm not understanding the point of this thread...it seemed like you were saying friends of the opposite sex areunacceptable in a relationship...you said "but if your in a relationship to me you should have no friends of the opposite sex"

 

[trapmuzik617]

i always say guys cant be friends wit girls unless they're fat or ugly haha... kinda true in a way cuz if u have a friend thats a girl there'll beatleast one time that you'll think about smashin and that voids the whole just friends thing

 

[fantastic4our]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

^wingwomen FTW

honestly the best way to meet chicks. friends of friends have put me on to game many of time. plus they more than likely know whether or not the chick is askeezer or not.

I have attractive female friends but I don't necessarily want to bang them all.

How could I tell a chick she can't hang with people she knew before I was around? Plus it's usually pretty obvious when chicks have dirtbag malefriends that are clearly trying to get her pants. More than likely if it's a male friend she wants to bang she would have done it already.

In conclusion, a real chick is gonna do what she gonna do. Insecurity and ultimatums will often get you the least desired result. You gotta let these chicksbreathe. I will refrain from posting Jay's last two bars from "Hey Papi" (again) but they still apply.

 

[slipnslide23]

if there is really nothing going on then why not

 

[bboy1827]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

if you have female friends then i'm not understanding the point of this thread...it seemed like you were saying friends of the opposite sex are unacceptable in a relationship...you said "but if your in a relationship to me you should have no friends of the opposite sex"

still didn't answer my question, the point of the thread was to see if I was trippin on assuming that if I'm in a relationship I shouldn't kick itwith my girl friends, and assuming that my girl should show the same respect just because of the bad situations it can create, whether anything ever pops offor not, the simple fact is if you really care about someone then you, at the very least, have the right to be upset that they are spending a large part oftheir time with another person of the opposite sex. I spend my liesure with my boys or with my girl or family(of course) I'll keep it cordial I don'tthink it's cool for me to hug up on other girls if I have a girl, just creates bad situations.

 

[mytmouse76]

why do you have to be hugged up on your female friend...you seem to be talking in extremes tho...if a girl is your friend there is nothing wrong with youkickin it with her...not all day everyday like before of course...but if she's one of the guys then why not every now and then?

 

[bboy1827]

I try to work in black and white because Grey never seems to work out well, you make one exception why shouldn't you make another for this or for that? Youstill didn't answer my question, which psych 101 tells me you are starting to agree with me and re evaluating your argument lol jk, but seriously like Isaid if I see her then I will speak be cordial but unless I haven't seen her in a while I"m not going to spend the day with her that creates problems.I wouldn't turn my back but at the same time I'm not going to call her over to kick it, if I wanted a female to kick it with I have my girl, if we werereally that cool then I would be dating her.

 

[mytmouse76]

if your question is should you give up your female friends then my answer is no...

 

[bboy1827]

no my question was how would you feel if everytime you called your bf he was hanging out with the same girl? would it still be cool even if she was his bestfriend since childhood?

 

[the yes guy]

I actually find myself trying to get a platonic friend even more than a girlfriend. I know at my age a girlfriend won't make it past a year(on the extremehigh side), but a platonic friend could be a lasting bond. And maybe it turns into something more down the road, maybe not.

 

[dirtylicious]

she was his best friend since childhood?
dude.

what's the problem?..

it's not like it's a new guy...it's a dude she's been taking baths with since she was a kid.

 

[thugnificence]

Originally Posted by bboy1827

I try to work in black and white because Grey never seems to work out well, you make one exception why shouldn't you make another for this or for that? You still didn't answer my question, which psych 101 tells me you are starting to agree with me and re evaluating your argument lol jk, but seriously like I said if I see her then I will speak be cordial but unless I haven't seen her in a while I"m not going to spend the day with her that creates problems. I wouldn't turn my back but at the same time I'm not going to call her over to kick it, if I wanted a female to kick it with I have my girl, if we were really that cool then I would be dating her.

so basically you are going with the whole if i want to hang out with any girl, then it will be my girl. but you do realize its possible to bereally cool with someone only in a friend way. That is something that does happen. But like i said before, if some girl started telling me that i couldnt hangout wit some of my female friends then i would have a problem with that. I'm not going to end a friendship just because she is insecure about herself.

 

[bboy1827]

The problem is she slept at dudes house, she didn't have to, thats blatant disrespect of the relationship, she slept in the same bed as dude point blank itwas over when she said that, but alot of her friends defended her and you guys seem to be defending her saying "Your just being insecure" no it hasnothing to do with whether the did something or not ,it's the fact that she would be so inconsiderate of my feelings that she would do that.

 

[mychenny]

Originally Posted by C Money 88 05

I have one, yea there was a point she liked me and I liked her and that's how we came to know each other, but when we decided that wouldn't work out we just became good friends. I aint on her like that and I'm pretty sure she aint on me like that(about as much as possible without being her), so we're cool how we are and it works.



it IS possible, it my experience it can't be forced, it just happens. There's a certain attraction that draws you two together initially, but that's with everyone.

pretty much my thoughts and my position

 

[dirtylicious]

see... you're confusing issues now.

this isn't a boy-girl issue
this is a relationship problem.

 

[hugo]

Originally Posted by WickedNikes

its different for different people

 

[mytmouse76]

so you are asking for advice cuz this happened to you? thats different...we thought you were just throwing examples out...i spend all my time with my bf...ifi'm not at work or class and he isn't at work chances are we are together...but if i called and he was with his friend i wouldn't trip cuz most ofthe time he's with me anyways...if he slept in the bed with her i would have a problem with that cuz i see no reason why that would be necessary..

 

[ericberry14]

Originally Posted by bboy1827

The problem is she slept at dudes house, she didn't have to, thats blatant disrespect of the relationship, she slept in the same bed as dude point blank it was over when she said that, but alot of her friends defended her and you guys seem to be defending her saying "Your just being insecure" no it has nothing to do with whether the did something or not ,it's the fact that she would be so inconsiderate of my feelings that she would do that.

you never said that was the problem you were experiencing. But since that is the case you are 100% correct in ending it with her for doing that.There is never an excuse to sleep in another males bed while in a relationship with someone else. No reason whatsoever to be doing that, so i applaud you fordumping her on the spot.

In that situation you arent being insecure or anything like that, she just disrespected your relationship & you arent going to tolerate it.