The point is im not saying to my straight friend you like men, literally. What im trying to say is that a slur or swear word can be transformed into any meaning you want to be. When I say shut up F*****, Im not saying shut up you like males, I look down upon you because of your sexuality. It can mean anything. Its just the sensitive activists or whoever else that is offended easily have to have a hissy fit over a word. Its just a word.
You're not "transforming the meaning." You're using it as an insult because you've heard it used as an insult. Almost certainly, you knew that the word was an insult long before you ever knew what it
meant. Now that you know what it means, can you in good conscience continue to use it with the same naive ignorance as you may have when you were 6 years old?
Even Kobe's apology smacks of this same sentiment, i.e. "I didn't mean it
literally." And? When you say, "this test is so gay" are you really describing its assumed sexual orientation? Interpreting it "literally" in that context is nonsensical. Simply using "gay" to mean "bad" is offensive in and of itself - and that
is how Kobe used it.
So, in that sense, you're not
even transforming it. You're still using it as an insult.
Earl Ofari Hutchinson has a great section on racial slurs in The Assassination of the Black Male Image:
“The Black ‘N’ word defenders miss the point. Words are not value-neutral. They express concepts and ideas. Often, words reflect society’s standards. If colorphobia is one standard, then a word as emotionally charged as ------ can easily reinforce and perpetuate stereotypes. The word ------ does precisely that. It is the most hurtful and enduring symbol of black oppression.
- Lip Read 
