Letter to a Simp (aka 75% of NT males) vol. FriendzOWNED

[36 ounces]

Originally Posted by MILLION DOLLAR STACKS

Originally Posted by kix4kix

No such thing as the friend zone, I remember this one girl named Suzy Tribecca in Junior high, man I remember it like it was yesterday. I was feeling shorty so I took her to the side and said "we should get to know eachother." She said no, and I was like

...but then she was like j/p, and I was like

....We got to know eachother, got to talking on the phone, she was my homegirl my friend, my compadre if you will.

So fast forward to highschool, sophomore year I heard she gave my boy Fredrick the buns and I was like

...So I called her that night and stated the following "Man we in highschool Suzy what's good with it?"...She was like "what you mean?"...I was like you know I am trying to be a pediatrician what's good with those anatomy lessons so I can get ready for med school?..She laughed it off but kix wasn't playing any games.

So the next day at school I was like "Suzy we can't be friends no more"....Emotional trick started ballin her eyes out on some fantasia water scene jumpoff. I kept my head high and waltzed out of 8th hour pottery with my swag on 10 and a half.

Later that night I get a call for me, my pops yells "Yo get your lazy *@+ up the phone is for you"....I answer it and sho nuff it's Suzy, "Hey I been doing some thinking and wondering why you don't want to be friends anymore?"....I was young but I still knew how to keep it 100, "Yo Suzy you cool and all but your homegirl Amber be sucking my %%$@, and if you wanna be cool you gotta do the same" She hung up on me. To make matters worse, she called Amber up and asked if she had given me dome. She in turn told her the truth which was we never did anything. I didn't care though I no longer had to hear her stories of getting banged out by my boy Fredrick.

...Later that year Amber apporaches me and was like "I heard you told Suzy I domed you up?" I had the

face on and was "like yeah I'm sorry". She said "don't worry about it, I actually always wanted to"

I had the

face on to the fullest, and I'm sure little kix had the same expression....After Suzy found out she forgot all about Fredrick and hoped on the boys team

..... She still be fending for the phallic to this day.

Cliffnotes : No such thing as friendzone

you were hurt ur boy was smashing.

....I'm not even gonna lie though, back in the day, I was in dudes sameshoes. But what I did was grimey, this chick I was feelin friendzoned me to go out with some peon. So me being the salty dude that I was called shawty'smom on the sly and told her that her daughters bf was beating her and not in the good way.

 

[lrrr]

Originally Posted by y0ung j33zy

^ This guy

no seriously...isnt that a form of friend zoning?

 

[bigmike23]

 

[phillypac]

Originally Posted by 36 OUNCES

So me being the salty dude that I was called shawty's mom on the sly and told her that her daughters bf was beating her and not in the good way.

at dude running around spreading rumors like a female

 

[iwearjs]

This is a real crazy thread!!!

 

[36 ounces]

Originally Posted by phillypac

Originally Posted by 36 OUNCES

So me being the salty dude that I was called shawty's mom on the sly and told her that her daughters bf was beating her and not in the good way.

at dude running around spreading rumors like a female

...It wasn't a rumor, dude really was givin shawty the IkeTurner treatment.

 

[lrrr]

i think dude used the word "peon" wrong

 

[salviboy7]

Originally Posted by Lrrr

When a chick wants you to finger her and suck on the bewbs and tells you how bad she wants you to smash and and sends you nudes and suddenly stops all that...does that mean you've been friendzoned?

That means you were just a fling.
Now she has moved on, and another guy is giving her the finger and getting the CC of the nudes you previously got.

 

[besthandsindm]

Originally Posted by JayADiCt92

 

[hueyp in louiev]

The Friendzone is actually the best place to be with respectable women.

But if your'e corny, your'e just corny and you won't smash either way.

You have to friendzone chicks though don't let them Friendzone you. Its essentially like putting the {()} on ice.

You chill with a girl, build with her, show her respect compliment her, etc...except you do your thing and she does hers. You can't show weakness, thatsthe main problem with simps...you can't put the gina on a pedestal...then you become putty in her hands. Don't go out shopping with her because sheasks you to, don't constantly try to be Dr. Phil in hopes that you can bring her over to your side. But do offer her real advice when she needs it, if youplan on doing something anyway...invite her to come along. IN short keep it real, don't bend to her whims. Be the man and take the reigns..never be thefemale in a realtionship. And always let it be know that you're not pressing her...you're doing your own thing and she can come along for the ride ifshes with it.

Eventually, she gonna start falling for you and you will have succesfully friendzoned her. Then if the situation calls for it...you can pull that prime beefout of the freezer and tenderize it.

 

[ninjallamafromhell]

Originally Posted by HueyP in LouieV

The Friendzone is actually the best place to be with respectable women.

But if your'e corny, your'e just corny and you won't smash either way.

You have to friendzone chicks though don't let them Friendzone you. Its essentially like putting the {()} on ice.

You chill with a girl, build with her, show her respect compliment her, etc...except you do your thing and she does hers. You can't show weakness, thats the main problem with simps...you can't put the gina on a pedestal...then you become putty in her hands. Don't go out shopping with her because she asks you to, don't constantly try to be Dr. Phil in hopes that you can bring her over to your side. But do offer her real advice when she needs it, if you plan on doing something anyway...invite her to come along. IN short keep it real, don't bend to her whims. Be the man and take the reigns..never be the female in a realtionship. And always let it be know that you're not pressing her...you're doing your own thing and she can come along for the ride if shes with it.

Eventually, she gonna start falling for you and you will have succesfully friendzoned her. Then if the situation calls for it...you can pull that prime beef out of the freezer and tenderize it.

Exactly.

 

[slipnslide23]

moral of story is to be a d--- to chicks

 

[im cool c]

i met the friends zone.. & whooped its #$+..

being the man.. FTW!

 

[shoeking2101]

I've said this before, and I will say it again.....Being in the friendzone can be the biggest blessing you want, almost to the point that you would want toget into the friendzone.


I swear being in the friendzone is appreciated and I have results to prove it

 

[mrdoeboi]

++$* I Have Been In The Friend Zone B4 And Took Down A Few Of Her Friends Because I Couldnt Take Her Down LOL U Just Gotta Make It Work For U

 

[i dont pass]

Originally Posted by Dr Spaceman

Originally Posted by IICEMAN83

I never had this issue. Women always want to smash even if im in the friendzone. Im just sexy like that. Yall def need to step ya'll game up

Well damn if you got it like that briggs, why you marry that broad?

YIKES!

 

[saba]

was in the friend zone with this chick then i just stopped talking to her cause i told her im not wit that and few days later my whole call log is full withher name now its a different story,

but i need tips of STAYING out of the friend zone

 

[picknroll24]

Originally Posted by HueyP in LouieV

The Friendzone is actually the best place to be with respectable women.

But if your'e corny, your'e just corny and you won't smash either way.

You have to friendzone chicks though don't let them Friendzone you. Its essentially like putting the {()} on ice.

You chill with a girl, build with her, show her respect compliment her, etc...except you do your thing and she does hers. You can't show weakness, thats the main problem with simps...you can't put the gina on a pedestal...then you become putty in her hands. Don't go out shopping with her because she asks you to, don't constantly try to be Dr. Phil in hopes that you can bring her over to your side. But do offer her real advice when she needs it, if you plan on doing something anyway...invite her to come along. IN short keep it real, don't bend to her whims. Be the man and take the reigns..never be the female in a realtionship. And always let it be know that you're not pressing her...you're doing your own thing and she can come along for the ride if shes with it.

Eventually, she gonna start falling for you and you will have succesfully friendzoned her. Then if the situation calls for it...you can pull that prime beef out of the freezer and tenderize it.

QFT. This man knows exactly how its done
*insert the rock clapping gif here*

 

[saba]

Originally Posted by Saba

was in the friend zone with this chick then i just stopped talking to her cause i told her im not wit that and few days later my whole call log is full with her name now its a different story,

but i need tips of STAYING out of the friend zone

 

[fantastic4our]

juist be straight up and tell her what the deal is. she gonna either be with it or not.

 

[alife epidemix]

from the wise words of Mark Wahlberg, treat your females like you treat mushrooms: keep them in the dark and feed them @#*!.

 

[marlsj]

Originally Posted by Fantastic4our

[h2]But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them[/h2]

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me %$@#! about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once-would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.

Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other !*$%$%! guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.
Best friends. Friends forever.
source: (http://www.theonion.com/c...if_we_started_dating_it)

The girl's a @!%+%$% $*$!%.

It's like I don't want you but no one else can have you.

He really needs to cut that $*$!% out of his life for good.

 

[theabove]

Originally Posted by Fantastic4our

juist be straight up and tell her what the deal is. she gonna either be with it or not.

I did that before school ended and she left me with some sincerity saying 'maybe when I come back'

Of course you keep it moving and its the summer time, but I would have her say no straight up then having me dwell about it in the back of my head before thenew school year.

 

[saba]

so is simply not talking to the girl for a few good enough ?

 

[jailblazer]

treat 'em like dirt
and they stick like mud