It's nearly impossible to make friends with other adults for a lot of different reasons, time being one of the biggest. You're an adult. You have a job. You have responsibilities. Maybe you have a girlfriend or spouse. That leaves less time for you to develop the kind of lasting, lifelong bonds with friends that happens in high school and college. High school and college kids have ********S of time to sit in each other's rooms and drink and discover that OMG YOU ALSO HAD A DOG NAMED SKIPPY WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG SOUL MATES! There's less time for that now. You need to know where this friendship is going right away. If we're not gonna end up snorting coke together and watching the first forty minutes of Full Metal Jacket over and over again, don't waste my time!
And there's more awkwardness. No grownup wants to ADMIT that they need a friend because that seems desperate. You worry that other people will wonder why, exactly, you still need a friend. Were you in prison? Did everyone at college catch you masturbating? What did you do to end up so alone? LOSER.
I've had that kind of anxiety. A few months ago, my wife was like, "You should hang with Kelly's husband. Maybe watch a football game together!" And I was URRR DURRR GOD THAT WOULD BE WEIRD, even though I liked the guy and happily would have had beers with him. Men are reluctant to admit being lonely, or nervous, and they hate putting themselves in any kind of vulnerable spot. What if your man date goes wrong? How ******* stupid will you feel if you can't even get a date that involves no sex right? On a certain level, you feel as if you and your new "friend" are just kidding yourselves... that you're trying to force yourself into BFF status when you have none of the shared memories or wacky camp stories of a pair of childhood buddies.
I moved down to the DC area with my wife ten years ago and didn't really know anyone here. Then I met another guy online (KOGOD!) and we met up at a bar once, and it was basically like going on a blind date. I think I got drunk BEFORE I met up with him, just to ease my nerves. We're good friends now, but we'll both readily admit that heading to a bar to meet your new CYBERBUDDY is a hard thing for grown men to do, even in a day and age where meeting people online is no longer stigmatized (I would argue that online dating is far more acceptable now than online friend-seeking—I've never seen an ad for any kind of platonic eHarmony). I Gchatted KOGOD about this yesterday and he said, "i still feel awkward around you." So there you go. SO SO AWKWARD.
If you're living somewhere new and you're trying to meet new friends, the important thing is to get over the shyness hump and OWN your loneliness. No sense in trying to make yourself seem cooler than you are. No sense in trying to convince potential new friends that you have other awesome buddies nearby. No sense in avoiding people when you know you NEED them. If you're honest with yourself and you say to your co-workers or friends of co-workers that you meet at happy hour, "Man, I don't know anyone in this city. I'm down with beers any time you feel like grabbing them," the world will probably start opening up for you.
Organized activities also help. There's a reason transplants living in DC join dip**** kickball leagues, and it ain't because they like kickball. You have to get out. You have to be places. You have to give yourself opportunities to find people who like you and accept you and don't give a **** that you don't have your own personal JackO or J-Bug in tow. There are plenty of people like that out there—be it online or at your local bar's trivia night. You just have to be brave enough to find them.
at the responses in here 
