Parents of kids that get bullied

[upptempo8387]

Originally Posted by Lil Cao

My parents raised me pretty solid, took beatings and what not. I still got bullied in jr high 'cause I was a small dood, but I always held my own. I got into at least 4 fights ending in suspensions up until high school. Get picked on once but don't let it happen again, or it'll just be an endless cycle.

You started off getting bullied because you were able to hold your own. The same can't be said about everyone. Some kids are just shy so fighting to defend themselves is not something they'll be able to do. I'm 6'1 and besides elementary school, I was taller than most of my classmates and had plenty of friends, but I had a lot of friends that got picked on for many different reasons. For OP to say the parents are lame so therefore there kids are lame is laughable. What about bullying that stems from racism? Let's not act like that doesn't happen everyday in the US. Or what about kids that are into comics and things of the like and get picked on because of that? Or the gay teens that get beat up in HS? Should their parents have taught them to be less gay, or snatched that Batman comic out of their hand and told them to go watch ESPN?

 

[fourreal]

Originally Posted by CWrite78

Originally Posted by Mitchellicious

True. If the parents are lames, then the kid is gonna be a lame.

so we have your parents to blame

Originally Posted by FourReal

i hate bullies
been bullied from elementary school threw high school
damn i hated those days

for what reasons were you bullied?

not into popular things/crowd? or were you a small kid?


i dont remember being bullied. sure, you had your douche bags here and there that joked.. but nothing ever to the point that i hated going to school.

in my whole school career, i got in 2 fights. both were my friends, and both over really dumb stuff.

i seriously don't know why
lol through high school i fought like 5 or 6 people

most of them where bullies

won like 2 of the smh...

 

[chezzer10]

My son was bullied for many years and never said a peep to us. Last year after taking Kempo for a while he was approached by the dude and his 2 other friends. My son went after the biggest dude first had it out with him and he took his shots. The original bully stared as he saw what was up and his friends said later man you fight him now. Dude ran off never bothered him again. But he then later on told me all the anger he had inside and wanted to hurt the kid because of all the years of torment. When he stood up for himself he finally realize I cannot fight his battles so he finally became that person that needs to be to survive in this world. I told him you have every right to defend yourself but walk away if possible. So now the original bully is alone after what happened since everyone saw what happened. He didn't go into martial arts because of bullying he was in it prior but felt scared of using it because of how I as a father would react. Believe me Men we have a lot of influence on our kids. If most Men taught their kids respect, honor, loyalty there wouldn't be that many incidents going on but sometimes you have to stand up to The Bully and confront your own fear and stand up for one's self.

 

[Fong$tarr]

Ironically most so called "bullies" end up being nothing later in life. I am 30 and have heard of some stories of some punks back in my high school and most are either loaded with kids or are working retail doing some dead beat jobs.

High school impacts people hard but it is such a small part of people's lives. I think bullies are a part of life whether young or old. Later, the people that got bullied on become bosses and bully back in their own way. It's funny cause I always think when I see certain people and say "back in high school, you probably weren't *$%$" and then realize how all that has no merrit later in life.

 

[bigpunoy]

Social bullying is what's most shows are talking about and it has to be hell on a kid if they're a victim of this. Think about, if you're being bullied at school, you at least one place you could always feel safe which was at home. With twitter, facebook, texting, etc. kids can be subject to bullying almost 24/7. While it's all mental, that's the type of stuff that makes people flip out. I was bullied a couple times in middle school, but always by some little guy who even then I just took it as them having a chip on their shoulder.

 

[ham city]

Oh look another thread where NTers who aren't even parents give their two cents on how other people should be raising their kids.

 

[mojodmonky1]

Originally Posted by CWrite78

Originally Posted by scshift

Do NOT put your kid through martial arts. If you want to instill physical confidence in a kid, take him running or do some workouts with him like pushups and dips and stuff. The kids who do martial arts in my school, even with black belts, can't fight for %#!# and even the freshman cross country runners can throw down on most of the seniors who do martial arts. Most of the kids who do them can't actually fight any better than any other kid.

The best bet is probably just to tell your kid to get into a fight the next time he gets bullied. Or at least make it clear he's about that life. "You don't need to demonstrate force, you just need to exhibit strength." Once the other kids know he's willing to exchange hits they aren't going to mess with him. No one wants to get hurt, even if they know they will win a fight.

screw that, im putting my kid in muay thai. lets see who messes with him then. screw that karate crap.

+1.  If I have a child (god willing) I'm bringing him to the gym with me to take the kids brazillian jiu jitsu class and then he can do his homework and wait for me to finish up my class.  I dont think I would ever pay for him to do some garbage like Karate or Taekwondo or anything like that.  There are some kids as young as 5 yrs old in the kids class at my gym, and on top of getting some physical fitness activity and learning discipline, they are learning some real world self defense skills.  I think (dont know... I'm not a child nor a parent of a child) that knowlege and ability will breed confidence in the kids so that they can walk around with their head up high and not worry about being themselves, even if they are "different"

  

 

[chrisphreezy]

^Word up. My kid is gonna be lethal. But I want him/her to understand when and when not to take action.

 

[mojodmonky1]

^ hahahaha

self defense only in my house. if i found out that my kid was using those skills to go around punkin others or starting fights, he better be able to take out his pops, cause the next fight hes gonna get into is gonna be with me.

 

[Clyde Frog]

jiu jitsu really does teach discipline..My brother has been competing in tournaments for years now with MMA and if they catch any word of him starting fights just because or taking part of any bullying his gym will kick him out with the quickness. They dont tolerate any of that.

 

[frenchblue23]

You have to have a sick twisted child hood if you end up being a bully.   It always falls on the parents IMO.  

 

[shatterkneesinc]

so what if a kid got bullied because his family is poor and couldnt afford nice clothes, games and all that good stuff that kids are spoiled with nowadays.

are the parents at fault?

 

[mytmouse76]

The thing is you should be able to go to school and be different w/out getting picked on.

If you're a lame have your lame friends and do whatever lame people do.

I do agree parents need to help their children build their confidence but there are so many outside factors that can play into a child's confidence so thats not always how it is.

My mom works in the school system and one of her co-workers lost a nephew to suicide cuz of bullying. While his mom was at the school after going up there numerous times before her son was hanging himself and his sister found him.

Bullying isnt just some playground stuff anymore. People make fake FB pages and post your number on Craigslist and make fake Twitter pages to harass these kids.

I was never bullied but this is something that really bothers me cuz I hate to see other people make someone feel they are below them or that they don't deserve respect for whatever reason.

It would break my heart to find out my future kids were being bullied and i would be LIVID to find out my child was a bully.

 

[milestailsprowe]

I was bullied all threw middle school but only because I got into a fight with one of those "kiddy gang" gang member and from then on out the members of that group had it out for me. Its social development and understanding whos around you and how you react to things.

 

[o fenomeno]

Originally Posted by Jay02

I agree.

I've thought about this before, when I have a kid i'm not letting him walk out of the house if he doesnt look normal. When I was in highschool there are too many times when I saw a dork and thought why do their parents buy these clothes for them.

I'm also gonna forcing be my kid to play sports at an early age so he can make friends and learn how to associate himself with others. And for the simple fact that I love sports...

its gonna suck to be your kid.

 

[jkomorowski09]

Originally Posted by o fenomeno

Originally Posted by Jay02

I agree.

I've thought about this before, when I have a kid i'm not letting him walk out of the house if he doesnt look normal. When I was in highschool there are too many times when I saw a dork and thought why do their parents buy these clothes for them.

I'm also gonna forcing be my kid to play sports at an early age so he can make friends and learn how to associate himself with others. And for the simple fact that I love sports...

its gonna suck to be your kid.

for rullz

 

[SHERLOCK87]

A lot of "children" talking about children in here

 

[potus2028]

I made an anti-bullying speech at a fictional middle school one time...

Originally Posted by to umfJHS

Hey umfJHS! What's good with y'all today? Let me talk to you guys for a minute...I'm gonna hit y'all with some real talk, and probably use some language you don't want to repeat, ever...when adults can hear you, anyway...I know you guys are practicing, heard you in the hallways on the way in. Hey...I'm cool, its whatever, I won't snitch on you.

*pauses for nervous giggles*

%#*!!

*kids laugh harder, Principal cocks eyebrow*

Just breaking the ice, Princy...remember the contract!

*pulls from back pocket binding legal agreement stating free reign and noncensorship during assembly and waves around...because bullying is just fine for adults as long as it's notarized and witnessed...*

Check this out, though...it's hard growing up, isn't it? Yeah I know...hell, I'm still struggling with it...but there's one part of growing up that can be as easy as you make it, and that's bullies. I know, I saw the same videotape they showed y'all last week...bullies suck. Peep though...they're gonna be here, there and everywhere else and no matter what kind of no-bullying pledge they make you guys sign, some mouth breathing career D student is gonna try to make your life harder at some point.

Yup...despite what your teachers may tell you, bullies can be a problem all your life and unless you get your coping game up, you're in for a bumpy ride. You have to change the way you see bullying...it's not something that should terrorize your life, it's a learning experience! Let's go over what bullies can teach you based on the methods they use.

-Exclusion: Ever been told you can't sit at the cool kids' table or picked last in kickball every day? Well, for the second one it might just mean you suck at kickball, but in twentyten they call that "exclusion" and it's a form of bullying. I've been there once or twice...but the crazy thing about the adult world is you're way more likely to be excluded there! I told you I was gonna be honest...and odds are you'll be excluded in your life. Whether you get cut from the basketball team, don't get a prom date, don't make the line on a fraternity or sorority, get laid off from a job or get told your credit is so bad they won't accept your debit card, exclusion is a part of life. It's not fun, I get that...but it's gonna happen. It's best you start dealing with it early so you don't slip into a spiraling depression when somebody won't follow you on Twitter because it's the 1st time in life you've been left out.

-Insults: Name-calling and insults are another bully tactic...if you let it be. Here's the thing about insults...not only do they cause you no physical pain of any kind or even have to be true when spoken...but they have comebacks! Learn a few (start from "I know you are, but what am I?" and work your way up.) and see if you can't joke your way out of the hot seat...you eventually develop something called wit. It might be the most useful coping mechanism I had when I was a kid...believe it or not I was "bullied" at one point in time...and it served me well. I even make people laugh on Facebook with it...and I know you guys like that, am I right?

-Backbiting/Rumors: Another way somebody can "bully" you is to talk behind your back. You know, Briana did this and I heard Josh did that. I know how it is, y'all...but guess what? Adults do it too! More, if anything... Let me ask y'all a favor, can all the young ladies put their hands in the air one time?

*surveys crowd*

Ok, uh-huh...cool. Did I tell you that you all look so nice and pretty...and guess what? When you get older, you'll go to a place called a "salon" to stay that way. Crazy part is, in there, rumors and gossip aren't called "bullying", they're called "conversation". There's even a show some of y'all probably watch called TMZ, which pretty much exists because of those things. It's a part of life...the sooner you learn to deal with it, the better. Just remember, you have 2 ears and one mouth for a reason...because only half of what you hear is worth repeating. (That half is pretty damn funny though...)

- Self-Esteem issues: They also say that bullies can take away your self-esteem...I say they don't know what self-esteem is. Self-esteem is how YOU feel about you, not him or her or any****inbody else. If somebody can take your self-esteem, you never had it! See, you can't let these #+!%#+@# have control over what you think...so what he said you're fat or that you have a big head? In the adult world, not everybody thinks you're the same perfect gift from the parted heavens that your parents do, and if you're not equipped to deal with it when somebody decides they don't like something about you, you're gonna have a nervous breakdown before dismissal.

The key to taking that power is to just accept that not everybody will accept you or what you do and embrace yourself...it's the only 'you' you'll get, trust me. Honestly, %#*! what anybody has to say about your life if you're happy. That includes me...%#*! what I say, if you decide you're happier as a victim, then just go ahead and drop to the ground sobbing when somebody says your favorite shirt is an ugly color. Just know that once you leave this place, not only will nobody feel sorry for you but they'll probably make a point of torturing you more just to get a reaction. My best advice is to shrug it off, smile, and do what you do...you'll have a much easier go at life, trust me.

-Conflict Resolution: Okay, we've talked about all the meaningless words people can bounce off you...but what about when things get physical? I know things get rough sometimes...I can clearly see Timmy over there has gotten a swirly today...

*points, pauses for laughter*

Just messin with ya, Timmy...you're cool, thanks for being a good sport...

*tosses Timmy a $25 Amazon gift card*

...but seriously, nobody has the right to put their hands on you against their will. If that happens, it's wrong...you can't defend that. However, just like in the adult world, you have 2 choices. You can either inform the authorities...that's Principal Baldy and Co. standing over there...

*points, children squeal with delight, Principal fumes, tosses Principal a $25 Amazon gift card with $12.48 left on it*

You'll be aight, Princy.

Or alternately, you can exercise your...

-Right to Self-Defense: I don't advocate violence in schools or anywhere else, but some people don't speak anything else. School may tell you that violence isn't the answer, and they're right...it's the question, and the answer is "sometimes". Solving one's problems without violence is really the way to go 9.5/10 times...but that last .5 can be a real ++$*% in the adult world if you don't know that talking just doesn't fix everything. I'm not telling you to go around beating people up...that makes you a bully too...but if somebody is going to cause you harm, you have the right...*$%*, the responsibility to defend yourself.

They say an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, but not if everyone would keep their pokey fingers to themselves...so next time somebody tries to stuff you in a locker or throw you in a trashcan, think about whether turning the other cheek will get you !!%!**. Lessons learned in blood are rarely forgotten, and that's true whether you're 10 or 100...so make a bully reconsider whether it's you he wants to pick on. Most of the time, just the threat of standing up to them will send a bully running for an easier target (everybody knows bullies are *****made at heart)...don't be that target!

Aight y'all, hopefully you understand now that bullying isn't just something that happens in grade school, it's a potential ongoing life situation. If you're a victim at 12, you'll be a victim at 22, 32, 42, 52 and 102...so it's best you learn how to deal with it now instead of when you're older when the bullies do things like try to take your girlfriend, stick you with their workload at the job or worst of all, try to keep you in a relationship with them.

*puzzled looks from kids, knowing smiles from adults*

It's complicated, I'll explain that at the next assembly...trust me on that though. Anyway, just remember kids...life's tough, get a $@%#%!% helmet! Good luck umfJHS, you've been great, I'm out!

*holds mic above head in fist to thunderous applause for a few seconds, slowly walks out*

So...yeah, that's my take on it... It's on the parents of the kid getting "bullied"...and of course, the kid.

 

[Clyde Frog]

Originally Posted by o fenomeno

Originally Posted by Jay02

I agree.

I've thought about this before, when I have a kid i'm not letting him walk out of the house if he doesnt look normal. When I was in highschool there are too many times when I saw a dork and thought why do their parents buy these clothes for them.

I'm also gonna forcing be my kid to play sports at an early age so he can make friends and learn how to associate himself with others. And for the simple fact that I love sports...

its gonna suck to be your kid.

Its gonna suck to be my kid because im gonna force him to look and dress normal? Whatever...

When he asks me to buy him a call of duty or world of warcraft shirt im gonna say no and hes gonna just have to deal with it.

 

[jfmartimcdandruff]

OP, MOST of the time, the kids don't tell their parents or teachers that they are being bullied.

When i was bullied, i never told my parents or teachers in fear of the consequences i'd have to deal with from my bully...and it seems that this is common.

The parents don't do anything wrong, it's all on the bully and his/her stupid insecurities that they have to put on an innocent kid. I even took part in some bullying myself, regret it to this day

 

[sundoobie]

Originally Posted by scshift

Do NOT put your kid through martial arts. If you want to instill physical confidence in a kid, take him running or do some workouts with him like pushups and dips and stuff. The kids who do martial arts in my school, even with black belts, can't fight for $$%% and even the freshman cross country runners can throw down on most of the seniors who do martial arts. Most of the kids who do them can't actually fight any better than any other kid.

The best bet is probably just to tell your kid to get into a fight the next time he gets bullied. Or at least make it clear he's about that life. "You don't need to demonstrate force, you just need to exhibit strength." Once the other kids know he's willing to exchange hits they aren't going to mess with him. No one wants to get hurt, even if they know they will win a fight.

Nonsense. 
My nephews 13 and 14 are currently training for their black belts. They train and spar daily with their father, whose a 4th degree black black Sensei in Shuko-Kai at his Dojo. I would love to see anyone bully my nephews.  

I was never bullied even though I was a frail looking youngster.  I guess it's because all the dudes I chilled with were the neighborhood goons that had my back. 

  

I do agree with OP though. It's up to the parents to teach their kids how to confront bullies.  

 

[hizzle]

I understand where you're coming from OP, but a child should not have to be forced to be interested in things they're not just for the sake of not being bullied. If they have unique interests that don't align with the majority of their peers and make them seem a little awkward, that should be okay as long as they're not hurting anyone else. Therefore, since they're not hurting anyone, they should be free to do as they please without having to be harassed. We need to create a society where people respect differences and feel safe being who they are, not one where we force people to behave a specific way for the sake of protecting their mental and physical well-being.

 

[3onpar5]

Originally Posted by Jay02

Originally Posted by o fenomeno

Originally Posted by Jay02

I agree.



I've thought about this before, when I have a kid i'm not letting him walk out of the house if he doesnt look normal. When I was in highschool there are too many times when I saw a dork and thought why do their parents buy these clothes for them.



I'm also gonna forcing be my kid to play sports at an early age so he can make friends and learn how to associate himself with others. And for the simple fact that I love sports...

its gonna suck to be your kid.

Its gonna suck to be my kid because im gonna force him to look and dress normal? Whatever...

When he asks me to buy him a call of duty or world of warcraft shirt im gonna say no and hes gonna just have to deal with it.

Wait...my son is 12 loves XBOX and likes Call of Duty. He has a few shirts that are Call Of Duty, he wears them with jeans and Jordans. Looks pretty normal to me. You better learn quick that what Dad thinks is cool is sometimes the uncool thing to wear.

 

[cwrite78]

Originally Posted by Jay02

Originally Posted by o fenomeno

Originally Posted by Jay02

I agree.



I've thought about this before, when I have a kid i'm not letting him walk out of the house if he doesnt look normal. When I was in highschool there are too many times when I saw a dork and thought why do their parents buy these clothes for them.



I'm also gonna forcing be my kid to play sports at an early age so he can make friends and learn how to associate himself with others. And for the simple fact that I love sports...

its gonna suck to be your kid.

Its gonna suck to be my kid because im gonna force him to look and dress normal? Whatever...

When he asks me to buy him a call of duty or world of warcraft shirt im gonna say no and hes gonna just have to deal with it.

the fact that you're going to "force" him/her to do something to please you, as stupid as "dressing/looking" normal is just idiotic.

please don't have children, their life is going to suck with such a stupid parent.

 

[cobra kai]

I used to get bullied in HS freshman year and a bit of sophomore year until I decided to fight back.

I was small, still am and people took advantage of it. but, I could always fight. I just never did cuz I don't like conflicts.

After awhile enough became enough and I started swinging back. Once you beat up your bully, people chill. One of them even tried to become my friend later on.


It's even funny to me now, I used to get called gay alot by cats I ran track with. Not because I am, but because I never talked to girls and was a virgin.
I was in high school, I was shy, what can you do? A few times the jokes bothered me because I'm not gay and I'd be like damn, that's all these dudes talk about.
It wasn't until my senior year when I became more aware of girls that liked me and flirted with me during school and parties.  That I started talking to girls and then I realized/was told most of the jokes came from me being one of the best dressed dudes in school but always staying to myself.

Since high school, I'm doing better than EVERY SINGLE person who made jokes about me.