So...You think YOUR life sucks? Fmylife.com

[dylishis]

... omg.

Today, I found out my crush has a colostomy bag because she has no ##%+. FML
*is dead*

 

[jawnyquest]

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

 

[kahlow]

Today, I sent a guy that I like alot a pitcure of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML


Musta been an NTr

 

[og_Rodney]

Funny, my friends and I were just reading these about 30 minutes ago.

 

[doom tang clan]

A lot of these are really funny.*Bookmarks

 

[aj232kb8]

Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend, while a beautiful girl was looking at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want my girl to be upset, soI escaped to the bar. Later, I saw this girl kissing my girlfriend... Maybe I wasn't the one that she was looking at. FML

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

 

[cruzair13]

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a Moderator, instead, I got banned. FML NT?

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

 

[jthagreat]

made up or not...LOL

 

[dub 253]

Great thread.

 

[djbj6t9]

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

 

[coolnificent]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

http://niketalk.com/topic/149744http://niketalk.com/topic/149744http://niketalk.com/topic/149744

 

[freshone12]

Originally Posted by jawnyquest

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

That kills me, damn!



So once i was sitting in class talking about the teachers DONK, and the things i would do and we were fairly close to the teachers desk, there was supposed tobe a substitute that day for our teacher but i mixed up the days and she came walking in as i am describing her rear end! FML

/

 

[so4i5]

Today, the girl I'm in love with told me she might be a lesbian. She then asked me if I wanted to have sex with her. Does she wanted to make 100% she was a lesbian? Her reply was: "No, I just think
you'd be a good transition". FML

 

[DVMNXK]

Today, I finally got the balls to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

 

[deceptikk0n]

lmao lots of these are hilariousss

 

[jordanpheen]

Originally Posted by oidreez

damn some of these are sad lol

 

[1boredzombie]

I love this thread lol

 

[rsdplaya]

these are epic

 

[club29]

and just like that, the FML era is born

 

[barack 0drama]

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "n_gger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

 

[frank 7he t4nk]

^
Foreal, you'll see a bunch of people using that phrase.

These are tooooo funny.

 

[mytmouse76]

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said "really? Again??"


Today, I got fined £20 for buying a childrens train ticket when I'm 16. I then got asked for id when buying a can of redbull in tescos, you have to be 16to buy redbull. FML

 

[kash55]

I am calling it.
This thread is on some Classic Status.

 

[jordanhead2]

Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML

 

[mr monday niight]

Originally Posted by heatpinoyboy

Originally Posted by IHeartBoost

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

I cant breath