So...You think YOUR life sucks? Fmylife.com

[club29]

Originally Posted by Mr DragonFly Jones

Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML

omg..

 

[bowzer blitz]

A lot of this @%*# made me feel better and worse about myself at the same time.

 

[iriesupreme]

at least half have to be ducktales

 

[million dollar stacks]

 

[kicks off]

 

[aveezythebeast]

Dying

This thread must go on Forever!!


Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends

 

[jayadict92]

oh man

 

[vdubsta]

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a Moderator, instead, I got banned. FML

 

[kyrac2]

real or not i'm in tears

 

[pip777]

Hilarious.

I needed a good laugh. *Bookmarked the site*

 

[kyrac2]

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted herwrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

 

[av1r3x]

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

 

[airchucknorris]

nice

 

[willis03]

I will never complain again

 

[parada45]

I read 10 pages and didn't even know it.

 

[kingkb34]

Originally Posted by eghckk

Today, my girlfriend went on an internet webpage called "How to confess to having an affair". FML

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FM

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

This site is funny. I'm callin ducktales on alot of the stuff posted on there tho.

Coldblooded

 

[kicks4kaskets]

These are hilarious.

 

[kal ripped ken]

"Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today'slecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML"

 

[rs 87]

I woke up at 8 am to a phone call from the hospital telling me that I owe them $900 cause my medical insurance didn't cover me till the next month. EVENtho these fools sent me the med cards..

On top of that, I found out Ibombed my econ mid term... FML

 

[fantastic4our]

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

Today, I went on a first date with an Egyptian/Cuban sorority girl. I asked her what language she was brought up speaking. She said that her mom spoke to her in Spanish, but that she only ever replied in English. I said, "Oh, kinda like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML

Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML

Today, my 4 year old niece ask me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

Today, after a late night at the bars, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response, "I live here." FML

edit: mas!

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tatoo. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a female. FML

Today, I asked my mother if she thought my cat was getting fat. She replied "It's not the cat you should worry about". FML

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style postion was fun, it reminded him what it would be like to rape a girl. FML


I love this site already

 

[firered18]

funniest one:

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it.. only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinklerthat was about 10 feet away.. I have no depth perception. FML

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my livingroom floor. I don't own a dog. FML

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap forblow." He's 10. FML

 

[thugnificence]

Originally Posted by Mr DragonFly Jones

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small %!$*. My best guess would be both. FML

word to ElPablo21

 

[zerogravity23]

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

Today, my boyfriend texted me and asked if I had left my underwear at his place. No,no, I didn't... They weren't mine... Awesome. FML

 

[ballin all day]

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

 

[bl4ze11]

awesome find! im dying over here...