The Official Chuck Norris Thread Chuck Norris. Vol

[smoothrick007]

When Chuck Norris works out, the machines get stronger.

 

[drsfinest72]

u know im the first one in here. lmaooo them joints are funnyy peep the sig

 

[calibeebee]

the boogie man checks under the bed for chuck norris at night

 

[biggatree]

The 'invented giraffes after uppercutting a horse' one will always be the funniest to me.

 

[uniquepair]

 

[smoothrick007]

When Chuck Norris went to, "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?", Regis used a lifeline.

 

[domc03]

Originally Posted by uniquepair

 

[kicktionair]

Chuck Norris has a vagina that can snap any penis

 

[smoothrick007]

Chuck Norris started a fire with two ice cubes....lol

 

[drsfinest72]

guns carry chuck norris for protection.

 

[dyyhard]

Originally Posted by domc03

Originally Posted by uniquepair

 

[blahzee]

^^

 

[therainycity206]

Chuck Norris doesnt do push ups...he just pushes the Earth down

 

[smoothrick007]

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. His spelling checks itself.

 

[king sole]

Been waiting a long time for this - thanks op

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do:

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuckroundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen itcoming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

 

[damnneardeadstock]

chuck norris once visited the virgin islands. they are now the islands

 

[domc03]

Walker Texas Ranger wasn't a sitcom but documentary shot in one day.

 

[shoepimp702]

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

 

[smoothrick007]

 

[shoepimp702]

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had topay taxes ever.

 

[ratxaxtat]

Chuck Norris went to my high school.

 

[8tothe24]

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

 

[smoothrick007]

 

[shoepimp702]

when Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms, he turns them inside out so he gets the pleasure

 

[smoothrick007]

Chuck Norris took a math test and put down"violence" for every answer and got a perfect score. He solves all his problems with violence.