UPDATE So my girl said she doesn't want to have sex anymore until we are married... Need Advice

[txrook]

at RickyBattalion's comments.

As for OP's situation, I don't know man. Sounds a little off. If I were you, I'd try debs 168's method, take away the other half of intimacy.
I was reading that, thinking, "damn, this is actually pretty good." Either she'll give in or you'll be free to go after other women.

 

[sneakaprince]

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

No offense but she has the right to be selfish with her body. If she chooses to abstain from sex for religious purposes, or any reason for that matter, he has no choice but to respect her decision. At the end of the day it's her body and the door is always open for him to leave. 

Never said she didn't have the right, I'm just saying it's a BS move and God, if he is so against premarital sex, isn't going to fall for it. It's like giving a kid a piece of caking and taking it away half way through because all of a sudden sugar is bad. 

OR, she is pressuring him to commit to marriage in a round about way.  Either way, I'd bounce.  Long distance and no sex?

Why is it a BS move? Because it has to do with her religious beliefs? If he's a mature adult then he's to respect those beliefs and make a decision based on his own. It's pretty immature to say it's BS because she wants a closer relationship with god. 

At this whole pyramid... My boy actually used a different example he was like "thats the bs I be talking about.... Do you realize you could literally be 6 pumps into having sex then a chick could say she don't wanna do it anymore and if u continue with even another 3 or 4 strokes she can say rape" 

.... No lie he had me dying laughing....

But I aint even bout that rape life. I mean she is my girl and I love her to death I would never force her into a situation she doesn't wanna be in. If she doesn't wanna have sex I wouldn't even try to force her. 

With that being said I did tell her I think this is bs and I do wish I would've known these things advance. Honestly this aint what I signed up for. 

 

[sneakaprince]

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

No offense but she has the right to be selfish with her body. If she chooses to abstain from sex for religious purposes, or any reason for that matter, he has no choice but to respect her decision. At the end of the day it's her body and the door is always open for him to leave. 

Never said she didn't have the right, I'm just saying it's a BS move and God, if he is so against premarital sex, isn't going to fall for it. It's like giving a kid a piece of caking and taking it away half way through because all of a sudden sugar is bad. 

OR, she is pressuring him to commit to marriage in a round about way.  Either way, I'd bounce.  Long distance and no sex?

Why is it a BS move? Because it has to do with her religious beliefs? If he's a mature adult then he's to respect those beliefs and make a decision based on his own. It's pretty immature to say it's BS because she wants a closer relationship with god. 

At this whole pyramid... My boy actually used a different example he was like "thats the bs I be talking about.... Do you realize you could literally be 6 pumps into having sex then a chick could say she don't wanna do it anymore and if u continue with even another 3 or 4 strokes she can say rape" 

.... No lie he had me dying laughing....

But I aint even bout that rape life. I mean she is my girl and I love her to death I would never force her into a situation she doesn't wanna be in. If she doesn't wanna have sex I wouldn't even try to force her. 

With that being said I did tell her I think this is bs and I do wish I would've known these things advance. Honestly this aint what I signed up for. 

 

[dunknforce]

give it a try OP, she might be just testing you from the sounds of it...

 

[dunknforce]

give it a try OP, she might be just testing you from the sounds of it...

 

[nawth21]

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

No offense but she has the right to be selfish with her body. If she chooses to abstain from sex for religious purposes, or any reason for that matter, he has no choice but to respect her decision. At the end of the day it's her body and the door is always open for him to leave. 

Never said she didn't have the right, I'm just saying it's a BS move and God, if he is so against premarital sex, isn't going to fall for it. It's like giving a kid a piece of caking and taking it away half way through because all of a sudden sugar is bad. 

OR, she is pressuring him to commit to marriage in a round about way.  Either way, I'd bounce.  Long distance and no sex?

Why is it a BS move? Because it has to do with her religious beliefs? If he's a mature adult then he's to respect those beliefs and make a decision based on his own. It's pretty immature to say it's BS because she wants a closer relationship with god. 

It's the timing of it - not the desire itself.  You make those kind of decisions when you're single - not when you're in a relationship and the cat (i mean penis) is already out of the bag.

And she admitted to him that she basically lied to him, knowing that she was going to take away the poon, because she thought no one (ie him)  would want to be with her if she didn't give up the goods before marriage.  That's BS too - you don't base a relationship on a lie because you're afraid that no one would want you if you were honest. If she didn't want to have premarital sex anymore she owed it to her potential boyfriends to be upfront and honest about that. 

 

[nawth21]

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

Originally Posted by Nawth21

Originally Posted by NikeTalker23

No offense but she has the right to be selfish with her body. If she chooses to abstain from sex for religious purposes, or any reason for that matter, he has no choice but to respect her decision. At the end of the day it's her body and the door is always open for him to leave. 

Never said she didn't have the right, I'm just saying it's a BS move and God, if he is so against premarital sex, isn't going to fall for it. It's like giving a kid a piece of caking and taking it away half way through because all of a sudden sugar is bad. 

OR, she is pressuring him to commit to marriage in a round about way.  Either way, I'd bounce.  Long distance and no sex?

Why is it a BS move? Because it has to do with her religious beliefs? If he's a mature adult then he's to respect those beliefs and make a decision based on his own. It's pretty immature to say it's BS because she wants a closer relationship with god. 

It's the timing of it - not the desire itself.  You make those kind of decisions when you're single - not when you're in a relationship and the cat (i mean penis) is already out of the bag.

And she admitted to him that she basically lied to him, knowing that she was going to take away the poon, because she thought no one (ie him)  would want to be with her if she didn't give up the goods before marriage.  That's BS too - you don't base a relationship on a lie because you're afraid that no one would want you if you were honest. If she didn't want to have premarital sex anymore she owed it to her potential boyfriends to be upfront and honest about that. 

 

[sundoobie]

lol What's the point in having a GF then?

 

[sundoobie]

lol What's the point in having a GF then?

 

[sneakaprince]

Originally Posted by puddinpopp

op your girl still in greensboro? man I know how the girls get down out there. But good luck and hopefully she is really telling the truth and trying to get closer to God. Tell her that she should cut out all the other negative things she does if she is going that route. Not having sex and still doing other +@+ isn't the way to go if you are trying to get closer to God.

Nah homie my girl lives in Raleigh now... Trust me I wouldn't even try a long distance relationship with a chick still @T I love my Aggies but I know %*! goes... I aint got the eyes and ears everywhere i use to have but me and my girl do trust each other.... 
And real talk fam I would try that cut all the other negatives things route out but it would prolly backfire on me. I low key may have tipped the ice berg because of a past argument we had about moving in together a year after I finish grad school (post engagement but pre-marriage). She does't want to because of family values/ faith.... I want to cuz life aint cheap lol.... Plus I would never marry someone without actually living with them first it just doesn't make sense to me

 

[sneakaprince]

Originally Posted by puddinpopp

op your girl still in greensboro? man I know how the girls get down out there. But good luck and hopefully she is really telling the truth and trying to get closer to God. Tell her that she should cut out all the other negative things she does if she is going that route. Not having sex and still doing other +@+ isn't the way to go if you are trying to get closer to God.

Nah homie my girl lives in Raleigh now... Trust me I wouldn't even try a long distance relationship with a chick still @T I love my Aggies but I know %*! goes... I aint got the eyes and ears everywhere i use to have but me and my girl do trust each other.... 
And real talk fam I would try that cut all the other negatives things route out but it would prolly backfire on me. I low key may have tipped the ice berg because of a past argument we had about moving in together a year after I finish grad school (post engagement but pre-marriage). She does't want to because of family values/ faith.... I want to cuz life aint cheap lol.... Plus I would never marry someone without actually living with them first it just doesn't make sense to me

 

[mytmouse76]

I think taking away the other half of intimacy is kinda petty.

"If you don't have sex with me then i won't hold your hand" Seems childish. You either deal with not having sex or you decide to break up. I realize neither are just simple decisions but it just seems like you're trying to one up her.

If you don't believe religion to be her reason & believed she was cheating just bounce.

Honestly OP if you feel there's a future can you really see yourself waiting another few years until you're married to have sex again? I'm assuming you're not ready right now.

 

[mytmouse76]

I think taking away the other half of intimacy is kinda petty.

"If you don't have sex with me then i won't hold your hand" Seems childish. You either deal with not having sex or you decide to break up. I realize neither are just simple decisions but it just seems like you're trying to one up her.

If you don't believe religion to be her reason & believed she was cheating just bounce.

Honestly OP if you feel there's a future can you really see yourself waiting another few years until you're married to have sex again? I'm assuming you're not ready right now.

 

[sneakaprince]

Originally Posted by debs 168

i was in the exact same situation a few months ago. it didn't last. we've been %$++%#% after those two weeks of her !#%$*@%!*%%+.

BUT

let her know how you feel about it and how you feel like its basically false advertisement to start a relationship doing one thing and taking that thing away.

her counterpoint will be "is that all you want me for?" "is that all the relationship is about?"

your counterpoint should be telling her that intimacy is a big part of the relationship for you but not the only part and that sex is a way to express how you feel about her and let her know that you feel a special bond or connection with her.

i told my gf that it was like taking away holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc. she didn't buy it. so i told her i'm not doing anything at all until marriage then. i'm taking away the other half of the the intimacy in our relationship.

she didn't think that that was fair.

i hit her with the yeah, i know. now you understand how i feel.

i also told her that i'm not sleeping beside her, either. God wouldn't want us to do that, either.

etc. etc.

long story short, we're %$++%#% again and have been for awhile. she knows what it is. either she spreads or you'll end up leaving eventually when you find someone that will.

Probably some of the realest advice in this thread I may have to try this.... I'm actually type salt since we got a trip to VA beach for memorial day.... Meaning I just spent a grip of money and won't be getting no buns.... SMH.... I could've went to my family reunion for that %!*

 

[sneakaprince]

Originally Posted by debs 168

i was in the exact same situation a few months ago. it didn't last. we've been %$++%#% after those two weeks of her !#%$*@%!*%%+.

BUT

let her know how you feel about it and how you feel like its basically false advertisement to start a relationship doing one thing and taking that thing away.

her counterpoint will be "is that all you want me for?" "is that all the relationship is about?"

your counterpoint should be telling her that intimacy is a big part of the relationship for you but not the only part and that sex is a way to express how you feel about her and let her know that you feel a special bond or connection with her.

i told my gf that it was like taking away holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc. she didn't buy it. so i told her i'm not doing anything at all until marriage then. i'm taking away the other half of the the intimacy in our relationship.

she didn't think that that was fair.

i hit her with the yeah, i know. now you understand how i feel.

i also told her that i'm not sleeping beside her, either. God wouldn't want us to do that, either.

etc. etc.

long story short, we're %$++%#% again and have been for awhile. she knows what it is. either she spreads or you'll end up leaving eventually when you find someone that will.

Probably some of the realest advice in this thread I may have to try this.... I'm actually type salt since we got a trip to VA beach for memorial day.... Meaning I just spent a grip of money and won't be getting no buns.... SMH.... I could've went to my family reunion for that %!*

 

[sneakaprince]

Originally Posted by proper english

i'll have sex with you, OP.

I'm good...

 

[k2theablam]

Originally Posted by sneakaprince

[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]Alright NT I never make Girl related threads but as the title says my girl is going through what I believe is a transitional period in her life. We have been dating for a little over a year and she recently asked me if it would be ok if we no longer had sex because she feels it would help strengthen our relationship with God[/color]. She said she has always wanted to do this but never had the opportunity to because she knew it would possibly mean past men would no longer be interested.
From my perspective NT this is blows. This is one of those things I do feel should have been agreed upon at the beginning of a relationship. Honestly I know she has some good points but I can't lie I'm 23 (and we are already in a long distance) relationship. Taking sex away puts an unneeded strain on things imo.

What should I do?

Cliffs....

-I'm not smashing anymore apparently

- Been with Oh girl for a year

-long distance relationship so I really feel like taking this away is gonna hurt us more than help us

- YES I'm mad

Read up until that point and stopped.

Originally Posted by OHyeah10

break it off or just smash other girls

This is your only solution

 

[k2theablam]

Originally Posted by sneakaprince

[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]Alright NT I never make Girl related threads but as the title says my girl is going through what I believe is a transitional period in her life. We have been dating for a little over a year and she recently asked me if it would be ok if we no longer had sex because she feels it would help strengthen our relationship with God[/color]. She said she has always wanted to do this but never had the opportunity to because she knew it would possibly mean past men would no longer be interested.
From my perspective NT this is blows. This is one of those things I do feel should have been agreed upon at the beginning of a relationship. Honestly I know she has some good points but I can't lie I'm 23 (and we are already in a long distance) relationship. Taking sex away puts an unneeded strain on things imo.

What should I do?

Cliffs....

-I'm not smashing anymore apparently

- Been with Oh girl for a year

-long distance relationship so I really feel like taking this away is gonna hurt us more than help us

- YES I'm mad

Read up until that point and stopped.

Originally Posted by OHyeah10

break it off or just smash other girls

This is your only solution

 

[sneakaprince]

Originally Posted by proper english

i'll have sex with you, OP.

I'm good...

 

[ed2trey]

it might be time to move on, don't ever let a women force you into marriage

 

[brandonb2005]

1) Your sex game is proably wack to her
2) Agree, and smash other borads
3) Agree and go through with it if you really love her
4) Disagree and break-up if you can't do it

You are in a tough siutation, because you can agree at first...but if you been smashing on the regular its going to start eating away at you.

Make a choice and live with it. If you really love her go with #3

 

[ed2trey]

it might be time to move on, don't ever let a women force you into marriage

 

[brandonb2005]

1) Your sex game is proably wack to her
2) Agree, and smash other borads
3) Agree and go through with it if you really love her
4) Disagree and break-up if you can't do it

You are in a tough siutation, because you can agree at first...but if you been smashing on the regular its going to start eating away at you.

Make a choice and live with it. If you really love her go with #3

 

[hazeleyed honey]

What Nawth said.

 

[puddinpopp]

yeah man the living with them aspect is key before marriage. Ive seen a bunch of my boys think they are in love then move in with the girl and things change. There was no disrespect to your girl, I just know how things go at the T. As for Raleigh, I don't think there are as many distractions as Greensboro. Don't get me wrong, she can still get into #%# out here, but the vibe is much different than Gboro. Yeah man good luck though, she seems like a good girl. Plus the way most girls are these days, you don't want to let her go that easy..(might not find another one that good). And if she truly is sincere in her choices with you, this may just be the test she needs to solidify that you are the one for her. If she is keeping it real, she understands that there is more to a relationship than sex, and thats a good thing. Just don't let her know its hurting you that bad, and i'm sure she will come back around. And when you finally hit that box again, if it feels different man, you already know what she has been up to. Time to move on after that.