What has happened to black families vol 72% illegitimacy rate

[ldj]

AntonLaVey wrote:

---

A point that needs to be made, it is very possible to not be married and raise children--I know people are divorced who are very civil around each other and understand the concept of that raising children is a cooperative effort despite not being together


The thread should be focused on the responsibility of raising your children not necessarily the need to stay married----the fact that you failed at marriage doesn't mean your kids should suffer for it


that sounds good in theory and should be this way. But to reiterate what i said earlier. For the most part it has been embedded in the mass majority of black women that raising kids involves the mother providing/tending to the emotional, discipline, stability, morality etc... aspect of parenthood, and the black man role is the monetary aspect of raising kids. Thats why child support fits in so perfect.

Again like stated previously you have been thought and brainwashed into to thinking a whole family doesnt include a father, due to events that happen in previous generations. The notion that black woman equates mother and father is rampant. The i dont need a man, and he is nothing more then a bonus, an accessory if you will. The sprinkles on a hot fudge sundae.

People tend not to value things they view as not of utmost importance, or relevancy. Its like you got a car and two of the lugnuts are missing from the rim. Will this affect the overall performance of the car? No it doesnt. Society in general has made the blackman nothing more then its nice but i can do just find without it. Add to that lack of accountability, and lack of repurcussions for said mindset. Statwise males without a father are highly more prone to detrimental lifestyles. But this again like i said earlier isnt something that is relevant, or utmost importance in the now, but will be in the later. The right now is im doing good i got this i just need this new car or this etc in the right now.

Its hard to co parent, because the keyword is co as in cooperate, seek medium, level terms. That isnt possible if you have this belief, not even your own but what society etc has told you, that you are not of equals because your special becuase of many black women did it on their own, im in a different social/educated/fiscal bracket then you are.

So its hard to go in half and half when one party feels their contribution is far more then yours. Its kinda like this nba lockout situation. The players feel 50/50 isnt far because they believe their contribution warrants them more of the pot. Thats how many, not all but a good majority of black women feel. So if you go into a situation 50/50 but feel it should be 70/30, and outside forces such as govt, judical system, dhr, society viewpoints, media etc... co-signs with you. 50/50 split isnt going to occur realistically.

Its like this in any other aspect of life. Is that lv purse any better quality then the coach? No one is made out of real leather and the other is synthetic and vinyl. Yet media society etc tells you its a better product and has more value, and seeing that its more relevant and emphasizes superiority, you go and buy that $800+ lv purse despite the fact quality etc... wise is far less then comparable to the coach bag thats $150. I mean i overstand it in some fascets of life, but when it come to love/relationships/family core values etc. Thats when i become puzzled.

Black woman are like the latest Jordans. Yea the stitching is off the glue is sloppy, the molding is is disfigured, and has serval imperfections, but hey they cost alot, and hold a certain social status and in others, outsiders are valued and regarded highly, morseo then the reebok that isnt flashy isnt highly regarded, and dont have that positive image, nor grandiosity stigma that those air jordans hold. So a trade off or the purchaser of the shoe, is a person who intent isnt which shoes best fits the specific task/job needed. Moreso which will put me at a status or depicated in a certain light, certainly isnt picking up those reeboks.

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by Ruxxx

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

Round of god damn applause for LDJ.

This.
Tariq Nasheed dropping knowledge on dudes.... 

and The gay-bashing here is

Ya'll are ignorant as hell...ESPECIALLY DeuceKing. 

Sidenote: are you really Louis Dix Jr from the Jamie Foxx show or just a fan? 

 

[scientific method]

Originally Posted by BrotherForReal

Originally Posted by peks03

it's pretty simple to me...it's a self perpetuating cycle. unwed parents teach their kids by example to have kids out of wedlock and the cycle goes on. a two parent household is inherently much more stable than a single parent household and the cycle goes on. more stabilty in the home produces a better educated child and a better educated child will earn more income and more income brings more stability and the cycle goes on.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I'm a teacher. Some of my most educated and well mannered children come from Black, single parent homes. Whether its with their dad or mom, their A, B students. It's about parenting. Not marriage. My mom was married but raised me by herself. My sperm donor, wasn't much of a "father" and an even worse husband didn't do *%*$ for me and my sister. My mom struggled to get us into catholic schools and pushed us into getting degrees. Two parent households are inherently LESS stable in this day and age. Less stable because many cultures save face and remain in a relationship for fear of the family view.
You don't have to get married to be good parents. You have to be a good parent if you're going to have kids. Period. Black, white, mexican, asian etc...Marriage is looked upon too highly in this country. You can't force someone into marriage on the grounds of forgetting to pull out. 

It's not a race thing. It's a PARENTING thing. 

Statistics are like salaries. On paper it says one thing but your take home is another. 

Statistics show a 72% illegitimacy rate in black families...ok...why aren't we talking about the other 28%? Let's continue to discuss whats wrong with the 72%. We have nothing to learn from the 28%, right?

They're, they are. Well, imagine the thread is named "why don't black parents parent as well as other races?" since we struggle with dropout rates and debauchery at a higher rate than everyone else. You can play the all to common, "I know an exception" card, but more often than not, we all know the deal. I think that is the point with any stat when you are contrasting one end as the positive, to the other versus the negative, is to decide what the negative end can learn from the positive.? Why can Jews, Asians, and Africans make their kids do so exceptionally well in school and we can't even get 50% of our dudes to make it to walking across the stage? I seriously would like to know. I have no kids now, but it'd be great information for me to have for the future.


Why do we continue to fall behind at an alarming rate, in everything that can be measured? That was really where I figured the thread would take a tangent off into, and it has somewhat, but it really just devolved into 1,000 different ways to shirk blame onto the white man.


And what is wrong with black women not wanting to be with men they perceive to be beneath them, from an educational and social standpoint? Don't black men do the exact same thing, like got a patent on it and everything? Even on NT, if I cared enough for this argument, I could copy and paste 1,000s of, "I graduated college, no more black women for me! smokeyfaceemoticon" type posts. That's the first thing dudes do when they think they made it is get a white girl, like some sort of status symbol.

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by sillyputty

Originally Posted by Ruxxx

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

Round of god damn applause for LDJ.

This.
Tariq Nasheed dropping knowledge on dudes.... 

and The gay-bashing here is

Ya'll are ignorant as hell...ESPECIALLY DeuceKing. 

Sidenote: are you really Louis Dix Jr from the Jamie Foxx show or just a fan? 

DueceKing has some validity in his points its just the method and the way he is articulating it is kinda off. Homosexuality is a part of the problem, but moreso its men not being men. in the sense of being the pillar of the household. the king of the castle, the apex of family. This again is mainly due to this whole black woman= man and woman of the household. Im the woman, the man, the mother and the father. Many men esp. black men dont know how to step foward and be a man. Reason being is because they never had those examples, and was raised by women.

Ive said it before you gain to know more knowledge for a person who walked the walk versus some one who talked the talked. A woman with repeated failed relationships, etc how is she going to provide insight on a good man? If she had any clue on what one was she wouldnt go through all that heartache, and constant mishaps. No woman period ever says when i growup i wanna have tons of kids several failed relationships. And a string of poor decisions. This occurs because you go into situations blindly trying to solve a problem when you dont even have the equation.

Its like how can you teach a person to rebuild a engine if you have no knowledge of automobiles, no tools, and dont even know where the engine is and even if you did, would know if it was a engine or not because you dont know what one looks like?

Yea you can read the manual, get advice listen to outsiders, ask the salesperson at the autozone. But to think based on that you would have working knowledge, or better yet more suited to repair and/or teach someone how to repair the engine. Over someone who has a ase and been working on cars for 20 years is absurd.

This analogy is what single mothers is all about. You can tell your son what a good man is, or show him. How? its painfully obvious you have no clue. How so you say. Because years and years of trying to find one only to end up at the crossroads or a dead end. Toppled with the fact folks saying its cool its really not that important. You just basically raise you son to be what you invision a real man should be. Or you make him a servicable man. A robert horry if you will. you wont be a greg olden, and wont be a michael jordan. And that i guess is fair enough to keep you at a medium.

The days of dads like james evans are about done. You cant be that strong prominant/dominant black male in the household anymore. if you try most black women have this mindset of ...A: your intimidated by my success etc my knowledge, your trying to stiffle my growth, belittle me. B: what i look like following your lead or hearing you out. Remember white man said im special, because im educated single black woman and im the man/the woman/the mother/the father. I really dont need you its just a bonus. C: fear of the unknown and dont have the restraints nor discipline or core values to accept playing a role position and using each other strength and weaknesses to become stronger and grow and develop together and improve quality of life as a whole.

Its getting to the point where the women are wearing the pants in the relationship and the men are wearing the pantyliners. Black woman have gotten to a point in most part that the apex the pinnacle of the family is themselves, and the kind words, and social images and influence of the "MAN".

Like i said before its almost unfathomable for a relationship kinda like the evans in this day in age between a black woman/black man. Its to a point thick and then is out the window. And compromise is almost oblivious. Oh lets work through these isssues. F that that takes time effort long term. short term 15 minutes at dept of human resources. Child support. Oh lets do this and that as far as matters with the kids. F that mediation, counseling take to long. Ill just leave its much easier, judical system gonna make me primary parent, and get to make all the decsions. Quick fast simple. And i didnt have to sacrifice, compromise, give into nothing. And why should I have to, because remember im single black educated woman, so im at a much higher echelon then you. And history shows stats and images and outside sources say im every woman its all in me, im miss independant, i dont need you and i know whats best. And my way is the best way and the right way.

To be honest i cant see a change ever happening. I only see especially with us about to hit a second wave of depression (economically) things in the next 5-10 years or so is really gonna change dramatically. Its going to be on some epic porportions

  

 

[scientific method]

Couldn't black men just stay out of jail, in school, and thus bring their achievement level even or even surpass that of black women and thus bring everything back into balance?

 

[thorrocksjs]

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Couldn't black men just stay out of jail, in school, and thus bring their achievement level even or even surpass that of black women and thus bring everything back into balance?

I'm sorry but your trolling is annoying and insulting at this point

 

[foxdawg2000]

Originally Posted by sillyputty

Originally Posted by Ruxxx

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

Round of god damn applause for LDJ.

This.
Tariq Nasheed dropping knowledge on dudes.... 

and The gay-bashing here is

Ya'll are ignorant as hell...ESPECIALLY DeuceKing. 

Sidenote: are you really Louis Dix Jr from the Jamie Foxx show or just a fan? 

Gay bashing from a black perspective to me is like shooting yourself in the foot..It shows ignorance to history of discrimination, recent history and a lack of mental progress.... Let's blame one problem on another minority within the black community and lessen the burden on who actually deserves it.  I can't blame deuceking for his ignorance though he's obviously been misguided by his friends and those who've preached the black gospel to him too long.. Going to church doesn't equate to obtaining or even observing a decent set of morals and I see that as another issue in the black community but let's go there a different time..I find it almost impossible to be pro black in America and christian for the fact that most blacks obtained their religion through their families who can be traced back to the antebellum era.. where the white man basically forced that religion upon slave and servant..
LDJ has a decent set of arguments and points.. but basically to me it comes down to family planning and decision making..Yes many women lack a good example of what that should be.. but eventually the chain must be broken..Men need to play a role in changing this chain as well.. someone needs to be pioneer..and to follow down the same path is proving destructive.. If you know the man isn't reliable use your brain and don't let him in. Black women do face a different form of pressure from their own community and society as a whole but none that cannot be countered or aided by better decision making.. those societal pressures aren't changing tomorrow so how about looking for a solution to what stands in the way of lowering those statistics..

btw  I didn't originally come in to argue Deuceking.. I came to discuss the issue, read and share my insight.. ..  I only began to address him based off of comments he made to 1) a white individual and 2) the role of homosexuality in this issue

As I predicted, he proceeded to question my blackness and presence within the black community.. I have traveled to various cities across the southern and northeastern U.S. and have been a teacher in multiple low income areas in florida and have seen many children with his same mentality ..The goal is to open the minds of these types of individuals.. allow them to see things from different perspectives.. I'm not surprised by an adult with this mentality (I'm assuming he's over 1 only saddened..

 

[eddiehouse5]

Originally Posted by peks03

it's pretty simple to me...it's a self perpetuating cycle. unwed parents teach their kids by example to have kids out of wedlock and the cycle goes on. a two parent household is inherently much more stable than a single parent household and the cycle goes on. more stabilty in the home produces a better educated child and a better educated child will earn more income and more income brings more stability and the cycle goes on.

the problem will persist as long as the majority of the black community keeps blaming others and the system for their woes instead of looking to themselves as the problem. i'm pretty sure that 72% of black women aren't getting raped into single motherhood. sadly many of the people that the black community considers leaders today would rather preach the victim card rather than empower. the few black voices that say not to play the victim and to play by the rules and work hard are called "uncle toms" and ridiculed.

Quoted for new page. These are the answers to our problems. When we fix this, we will fix us.

 

[neptunebeats187]

Media killing us. Smash-quick tendencies...

 

[-Red-]

The amount of half-baked "psychologizing" of Black women and the utter lack of thoughtful discussion on anything having to do with the male "side" of this is astounding. Some of the things that have been said about larger structural and institutional forces have been accurate but people's analyses (half-baked at best, completely ridiculous and degrading at worst) show that they clearly don't fully grasp the implications.

 

[wr]

Originally Posted by ThorrocksJs

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Couldn't black men just stay out of jail, in school, and thus bring their achievement level even or even surpass that of black women and thus bring everything back into balance?

I'm sorry but your trolling is annoying and insulting at this point

honestly sounds like dude found out about the black mans plight yesterday. I think you may be a young guy trying to make sense of it all but your idea that the remedies to our problems are as simplistic as you propose is a little offensive to people who have been direct recipients of a systematic and psychlogical oppression for hundreds of years. You probably should read a little more literature on the subject from the black perspective because you are just repeating ignorant rhetoric that whites have used for years to justify our ill treatment .

 

[ldj]

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by CJDynasty

I am not bashing or attacking homosexuality. Im just simply stating that it, just like other factors (ie: men in jail or dead before 25, not graduating highschool/college) helps to disproportion the numbers of quality black educated hetero men for black women. Obviously, homosexuality HAS to factor in. Because if they are homosexual, then they CANNOT be a viable options for the black women, eliminating them from the dating pool, however big or small the percentage. Thats all I am trying to say. Not disrespecting homosexuality nor am I blaming it. Just saying that its one of many reasons as to why its hard for black women to find black men. Its truly a numbers game people.

The list of why black women can't get black men is a long one


-He doesn't have enough money
-He aint a baller
-He's too short
-He's gay
-He likes white girls


I'm not blaming black women for their "plight" so to speak, but I'm curious as to if there's anything they think they could do differently to keep a black man---I want a female perspective

But heres the thing the so called plight really isnt a plight or fight at all. Add to the fact they always have a safety net. A get out of jail free card if you will. And that card is fiscal opportunites, favorable preference from a general aspect (jobs social acceptance etc) , judicial and govt backing, And the approval thumbs up from the mass majority. This is fact. The days of comming together, collectivity, etc are gone and replaced with fiscal and social acceptance and security. 

Key examples name all of the most prominant and socially accepted black woman of this generation. Almost all of them are single. And have no affiliations with black men. Look at oprah winfrey. She was married and had a husband who was devoted and supported her tried and true. But it was the oh " you should leave him, he is intimidated by your success" , " he isnt of caliber social/fiscal level that you are" Oh he just with you for the limelight fame. Despite he was down with her she chose the social acceptance of the majority. And overlooked his core values, his beliefs and the goodness of who he was as a man, because none of those qualities equal money. None of those traits win over the hearts of all mainstream. And add to that the oh if he isnt on a certain status echelon, from society and the majorities point of view, its not in your best interest to have any dealings with him. 

Mattter fact name any highly successful black women in the so call safe-zone, socially accepted that deals with the average everyday black man? Hell plenty of black men do it. You always here the stories of the successful black man who hooks up marry the black women from the hood. Or not of certain financial/social status as he is. How often do you hear it in the opposite?

You hear the famous athlete/rapper/business mogul, etc... black man marry the black woman who may not have the social status/education success he has accomplished. Hardly ever hear it the other way around. Despite all that those black men marry/hook up with those black women because who they are as a person and not what they are as a person.

Lets be real here. It is more likely than not Tyler Perry to marry a average woman, who he loves and cares for for who she is. Over a Rhianna dating marrying a guy she loved in the past who is good and kind to her, but is mearly a school counselor, or head janitor, or a factory operator.

Its funny how stats and all that is the be all to some ppl. It doesnt accurately depict real day-to-day life and experiences. I also ind it funny who it is portrayed that black men are superfiscal etc... Yet i hardly hear guys say oh i couldnt date her cause she didnt go to a certain school, work a certain job, dress a certain way, drive a certain car. Hell a black man is more incline to date marry a put together, overall good black women working as head cashier at subway, versus a well to do black women marrying a good hardworking honest black man who is head foreman/ at a distribution center making $15 an hour.

Lets not be stupid and ignorant and throw facts out. We all know this to be true. Its a better chance drake would marry a average everyday girl that was the love of his life, then a latoya luckett marrying good ole hard-working daquan who treats her like gold, but works on the assembly line at gm. And only has a high school diploma and maybe a year in college.
  

 

[thorrocksjs]

This guy only speaks the truth

 

[scientific method]

Originally Posted by Wr

Originally Posted by ThorrocksJs

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

Couldn't black men just stay out of jail, in school, and thus bring their achievement level even or even surpass that of black women and thus bring everything back into balance?

I'm sorry but your trolling is annoying and insulting at this point

honestly sounds like dude found out about the black mans plight yesterday. I think you may be a young guy trying to make sense of it all but your idea that the remedies to our problems are as simplistic as you propose is a little offensive to people who have been direct recipients of a systematic and psychlogical oppression for hundreds of years. You probably should read a little more literature on the subject from the black perspective because you are just repeating ignorant rhetoric that whites have used for years to justify our ill treatment .

I am 27 and have been black the entire time. I constantly find myself vexed at things "we" do. Ignorant rhetoric? They are objective stats. If anyone should be offended, it's the generations who marched, fought, and died so we could be able to go to school, vote, own property, and have the multitude of opportunities and freedoms of which we are wasting at this point.

 

[me no pass]

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey

Originally Posted by CJDynasty

I am not bashing or attacking homosexuality. Im just simply stating that it, just like other factors (ie: men in jail or dead before 25, not graduating highschool/college) helps to disproportion the numbers of quality black educated hetero men for black women. Obviously, homosexuality HAS to factor in. Because if they are homosexual, then they CANNOT be a viable options for the black women, eliminating them from the dating pool, however big or small the percentage. Thats all I am trying to say. Not disrespecting homosexuality nor am I blaming it. Just saying that its one of many reasons as to why its hard for black women to find black men. Its truly a numbers game people.

The list of why black women can't get black men is a long one


-He doesn't have enough money
-He aint a baller
-He's too short
-He's gay
-He likes white girls


I'm not blaming black women for their "plight" so to speak, but I'm curious as to if there's anything they think they could do differently to keep a black man---I want a female perspective

But heres the thing the so called plight really isnt a plight or fight at all. Add to the fact they always have a safety net. A get out of jail free card if you will. And that card is fiscal opportunites, favorable preference from a general aspect (jobs social acceptance etc) , judicial and govt backing, And the approval thumbs up from the mass majority. This is fact. The days of comming together, collectivity, etc are gone and replaced with fiscal and social acceptance and security. 

Key examples name all of the most prominant and socially accepted black woman of this generation. Almost all of them are single. And have no affiliations with black men. Look at oprah winfrey. She was married and had a husband who was devoted and supported her tried and true. But it was the oh " you should leave him, he is intimidated by your success" , " he isnt of caliber social/fiscal level that you are" Oh he just with you for the limelight fame. Despite he was down with her she chose the social acceptance of the majority. And overlooked his core values, his beliefs and the goodness of who he was as a man, because none of those qualities equal money. None of those traits win over the hearts of all mainstream. And add to that the oh if he isnt on a certain status echelon, from society and the majorities point of view, its not in your best interest to have any dealings with him. 

Mattter fact name any highly successful black women in the so call safe-zone, socially accepted that deals with the average everyday black man? Hell plenty of black men do it. You always here the stories of the successful black man who hooks up marry the black women from the hood. Or not of certain financial/social status as he is. How often do you hear it in the opposite?

You hear the famous athlete/rapper/business mogul, etc... black man marry the black woman who may not have the social status/education success he has accomplished. Hardly ever hear it the other way around. Despite all that those black men marry/hook up with those black women because who they are as a person and not what they are as a person.

Lets be real here. It is more likely than not Tyler Perry to marry a average woman, who he loves and cares for for who she is. Over a Rhianna dating marrying a guy she loved in the past who is good and kind to her, but is mearly a school counselor, or head janitor, or a factory operator.

Its funny how stats and all that is the be all to some ppl. It doesnt accurately depict real day-to-day life and experiences. I also ind it funny who it is portrayed that black men are superfiscal etc... Yet i hardly hear guys say oh i couldnt date her cause she didnt go to a certain school, work a certain job, dress a certain way, drive a certain car. Hell a black man is more incline to date marry a put together, overall good black women working as head cashier at subway, versus a well to do black women marrying a good hardworking honest black man who is head foreman/ at a distribution center making $15 an hour.

Lets not be stupid and ignorant and throw facts out. We all know this to be true. Its a better chance drake would marry a average everyday girl that was the love of his life, then a latoya luckett marrying good ole hard-working daquan who treats her like gold, but works on the assembly line at gm. And only has a high school diploma and maybe a year in college.
  

PREACH LDJ PREACH.

i say this all the time about women....its all about status

 

[goldenchild9]

Scientific Method wrote:

Shut up.

 

[scientific method]

never mind, high road

 

[snaggykicks]

Originally Posted by ME NO PASS

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by AntonLaVey


The list of why black women can't get black men is a long one


-He doesn't have enough money
-He aint a baller
-He's too short
-He's gay
-He likes white girls


I'm not blaming black women for their "plight" so to speak, but I'm curious as to if there's anything they think they could do differently to keep a black man---I want a female perspective

But heres the thing the so called plight really isnt a plight or fight at all. Add to the fact they always have a safety net. A get out of jail free card if you will. And that card is fiscal opportunites, favorable preference from a general aspect (jobs social acceptance etc) , judicial and govt backing, And the approval thumbs up from the mass majority. This is fact. The days of comming together, collectivity, etc are gone and replaced with fiscal and social acceptance and security. 

Key examples name all of the most prominant and socially accepted black woman of this generation. Almost all of them are single. And have no affiliations with black men. Look at oprah winfrey. She was married and had a husband who was devoted and supported her tried and true. But it was the oh " you should leave him, he is intimidated by your success" , " he isnt of caliber social/fiscal level that you are" Oh he just with you for the limelight fame. Despite he was down with her she chose the social acceptance of the majority. And overlooked his core values, his beliefs and the goodness of who he was as a man, because none of those qualities equal money. None of those traits win over the hearts of all mainstream. And add to that the oh if he isnt on a certain status echelon, from society and the majorities point of view, its not in your best interest to have any dealings with him. 

Mattter fact name any highly successful black women in the so call safe-zone, socially accepted that deals with the average everyday black man? Hell plenty of black men do it. You always here the stories of the successful black man who hooks up marry the black women from the hood. Or not of certain financial/social status as he is. How often do you hear it in the opposite?

You hear the famous athlete/rapper/business mogul, etc... black man marry the black woman who may not have the social status/education success he has accomplished. Hardly ever hear it the other way around. Despite all that those black men marry/hook up with those black women because who they are as a person and not what they are as a person.

Lets be real here. It is more likely than not Tyler Perry to marry a average woman, who he loves and cares for for who she is. Over a Rhianna dating marrying a guy she loved in the past who is good and kind to her, but is mearly a school counselor, or head janitor, or a factory operator.

Its funny how stats and all that is the be all to some ppl. It doesnt accurately depict real day-to-day life and experiences. I also ind it funny who it is portrayed that black men are superfiscal etc... Yet i hardly hear guys say oh i couldnt date her cause she didnt go to a certain school, work a certain job, dress a certain way, drive a certain car. Hell a black man is more incline to date marry a put together, overall good black women working as head cashier at subway, versus a well to do black women marrying a good hardworking honest black man who is head foreman/ at a distribution center making $15 an hour.

Lets not be stupid and ignorant and throw facts out. We all know this to be true. Its a better chance drake would marry a average everyday girl that was the love of his life, then a latoya luckett marrying good ole hard-working daquan who treats her like gold, but works on the assembly line at gm. And only has a high school diploma and maybe a year in college.
  

PREACH LDJ PREACH.

i say this all the time about women....its all about status

  

 

[newbuck]

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

never mind, high road

You're making heads explode in this thread.

 

[goldenchild9]

Originally Posted by newbuck

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

never mind, high road

You're making heads explode in this thread.

Yeah with stupidity.

Great posts LDJ.

 

[ninjahood]

welfare laws created a financial incentive for poor mothers to stay single.

/thread

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by snaggykicks

Originally Posted by ME NO PASS

Originally Posted by LDJ



But heres the thing the so called plight really isnt a plight or fight at all. Add to the fact they always have a safety net. A get out of jail free card if you will. And that card is fiscal opportunites, favorable preference from a general aspect (jobs social acceptance etc) , judicial and govt backing, And the approval thumbs up from the mass majority. This is fact. The days of comming together, collectivity, etc are gone and replaced with fiscal and social acceptance and security. 

Key examples name all of the most prominant and socially accepted black woman of this generation. Almost all of them are single. And have no affiliations with black men. Look at oprah winfrey. She was married and had a husband who was devoted and supported her tried and true. But it was the oh " you should leave him, he is intimidated by your success" , " he isnt of caliber social/fiscal level that you are" Oh he just with you for the limelight fame. Despite he was down with her she chose the social acceptance of the majority. And overlooked his core values, his beliefs and the goodness of who he was as a man, because none of those qualities equal money. None of those traits win over the hearts of all mainstream. And add to that the oh if he isnt on a certain status echelon, from society and the majorities point of view, its not in your best interest to have any dealings with him. 

Mattter fact name any highly successful black women in the so call safe-zone, socially accepted that deals with the average everyday black man? Hell plenty of black men do it. You always here the stories of the successful black man who hooks up marry the black women from the hood. Or not of certain financial/social status as he is. How often do you hear it in the opposite?

You hear the famous athlete/rapper/business mogul, etc... black man marry the black woman who may not have the social status/education success he has accomplished. Hardly ever hear it the other way around. Despite all that those black men marry/hook up with those black women because who they are as a person and not what they are as a person.

Lets be real here. It is more likely than not Tyler Perry to marry a average woman, who he loves and cares for for who she is. Over a Rhianna dating marrying a guy she loved in the past who is good and kind to her, but is mearly a school counselor, or head janitor, or a factory operator.

Its funny how stats and all that is the be all to some ppl. It doesnt accurately depict real day-to-day life and experiences. I also ind it funny who it is portrayed that black men are superfiscal etc... Yet i hardly hear guys say oh i couldnt date her cause she didnt go to a certain school, work a certain job, dress a certain way, drive a certain car. Hell a black man is more incline to date marry a put together, overall good black women working as head cashier at subway, versus a well to do black women marrying a good hardworking honest black man who is head foreman/ at a distribution center making $15 an hour.

Lets not be stupid and ignorant and throw facts out. We all know this to be true. Its a better chance drake would marry a average everyday girl that was the love of his life, then a latoya luckett marrying good ole hard-working daquan who treats her like gold, but works on the assembly line at gm. And only has a high school diploma and maybe a year in college.
  

PREACH LDJ PREACH.

i say this all the time about women....its all about status

  

 

[scientific method]

Originally Posted by newbuck

Originally Posted by Scientific Method

never mind, high road

You're making heads explode in this thread.

Who knew that there would be such a resistance to education, self responsibility, and hard work as the pillars to doing better? Ever more of a head scratcher is how the success gap of black women over men is being minimized as some type of divisive conspiracy against the black man, and they're being chastized for it rather than it opening up a discussion on how men can match that level which would thus bring us all up higher.



I guess that's what happen when a brainstorm about black progression, and you don't start it out with blaming D. Whiteman and other victimhood ideals but rather education and hard work, you get blacklisted by the B.C. I'm not the first, won't be the last I'm sure. We've seen it happen to the President, Bill Cosby, Tavis Smiley, among others.

 

[chosen one]

Ehh.....my parents have been together for 30+ years and married for 28.

It doesn't really seem that hard man.

Be there for your kids.

 

[ninjahood]

Originally Posted by cartune

The cycle

No black families -------> Girls grow up searching for love in the wrong places (Sex & Babies) ----------> babies grow up. Mothers lose interest in the well being of their kids -------->

Kids grow up searching for love in the wrong places (Sex, Gangs, Drugs, Fast Money schemes, Role models in entertainment)

this, this, that & that.