YO! Female infidelity...

[wawaweewa]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

my thing is...if you honestly believe men or people aren't meant to be monogamous why get into a monogamous relationship?

i dont care that people dont believe in monogamy...but i do care that they dont believe it but then lead their partner to believe they do

Maybe because you actually really like the person? Equating sex exclusively with love is an error. 
It is selfish because it's a case of wanting the best of both worlds but life tends to be complicated. 

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by wawaweewa

We haven't really evolved much to be honest. I'd think all the killing, lying, stealing just in the past century is evidence of that. 
Most men couldn't care less whether you believe this or that. Frankly, the exact reason behind it doesn't matter. All that matters is that it's common enough  to not be the exception (but it isn't the rule either). 

It wasn't about the grass begin greener. It was just about sex. Sex isn't sacred. It's sex. Is peeing sacred? Women have a hard time understanding this because they're emotional feelings are linked to their sexual activity. For men, it's different. It can be about love if shared with someone you love but it doesn't have to be. I've had sex with chicks who I wouldn't' even hang out with even if I got paid for it. 

What I meant by evolving is that there is a difference between humans and animals. Humans will still act out of primary human nature instincts, but if they are full capable as a human, then they can make that RATIONAL and LOGICAL choice to not commit those acts. That's the difference in how we evolved beyond primal instincts.

Just sex? If I am in a monogamous relationship, any kind of intimacy I share with my man is sacred, even a kiss. Intimacy only shared between both of you provides that feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together only. It strengthens your bond,doesn't it? In a monogamous relationship, we made a pact and boundaries of an exclusive and committed relationship. Any kind of emotional or physical embrace and affection my man shares with another women is not sacred to me then anymore. As partners in a monogamous relationship, what's so unique and special about our intimacy if you and I are banging others on the side?

So if a girl you loved had sex with another man, you'd say, oh it's just sex?

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by wawaweewa

We haven't really evolved much to be honest. I'd think all the killing, lying, stealing just in the past century is evidence of that. 
Most men couldn't care less whether you believe this or that. Frankly, the exact reason behind it doesn't matter. All that matters is that it's common enough  to not be the exception (but it isn't the rule either). 

It wasn't about the grass begin greener. It was just about sex. Sex isn't sacred. It's sex. Is peeing sacred? Women have a hard time understanding this because they're emotional feelings are linked to their sexual activity. For men, it's different. It can be about love if shared with someone you love but it doesn't have to be. I've had sex with chicks who I wouldn't' even hang out with even if I got paid for it. 

What I meant by evolving is that there is a difference between humans and animals. Humans will still act out of primary human nature instincts, but if they are full capable as a human, then they can make that RATIONAL and LOGICAL choice to not commit those acts. That's the difference in how we evolved beyond primal instincts.

Just sex? If I am in a monogamous relationship, any kind of intimacy I share with my man is sacred, even a kiss. Intimacy only shared between both of you provides that feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together only. It strengthens your bond,doesn't it? In a monogamous relationship, we made a pact and boundaries of an exclusive and committed relationship. Any kind of emotional or physical embrace and affection my man shares with another women is not sacred to me then anymore. As partners in a monogamous relationship, what's so unique and special about our intimacy if you and I are banging others on the side?

So if a girl you loved had sex with another man, you'd say, oh it's just sex?

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by wawaweewa

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

my thing is...if you honestly believe men or people aren't meant to be monogamous why get into a monogamous relationship?

i dont care that people dont believe in monogamy...but i do care that they dont believe it but then lead their partner to believe they do

Maybe because you actually really like the person? Equating sex exclusively with love is an error. 
It is selfish because it's a case of wanting the best of both worlds but life tends to be complicated. 

oooooh...cuz you like her her! so that makes it ok to mislead someone cuz you like them...

glad you cleared that up...life makes so much more sense now

 

[mytmouse76]

Originally Posted by wawaweewa

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

my thing is...if you honestly believe men or people aren't meant to be monogamous why get into a monogamous relationship?

i dont care that people dont believe in monogamy...but i do care that they dont believe it but then lead their partner to believe they do

Maybe because you actually really like the person? Equating sex exclusively with love is an error. 
It is selfish because it's a case of wanting the best of both worlds but life tends to be complicated. 

oooooh...cuz you like her her! so that makes it ok to mislead someone cuz you like them...

glad you cleared that up...life makes so much more sense now

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by wawaweewa


Scenario:

Say you can see the future. You get with a  guy you really like and for 1 or 2 or 3 years you have the greatest time of your life. Then he cheats. 

Knowing this, would you even start the relationship (say your memory of the future gets wiped at this point

) ? 

Nope.

If I get to knowing a guy and I think at first there is potential in a relationship...I ask him, did you cheat before in a serious relationship? If he admits and says yes, tt's done. I know not to get with that person. I know that once a cheater is not always a cheater, but most cheaters are serial cheaters. If you showed weakness in moral character like that in the past in a relationship and you cheated, you are more likely to do it again. Not taking that chance.
  

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by wawaweewa


Scenario:

Say you can see the future. You get with a  guy you really like and for 1 or 2 or 3 years you have the greatest time of your life. Then he cheats. 

Knowing this, would you even start the relationship (say your memory of the future gets wiped at this point

) ? 

Nope.

If I get to knowing a guy and I think at first there is potential in a relationship...I ask him, did you cheat before in a serious relationship? If he admits and says yes, tt's done. I know not to get with that person. I know that once a cheater is not always a cheater, but most cheaters are serial cheaters. If you showed weakness in moral character like that in the past in a relationship and you cheated, you are more likely to do it again. Not taking that chance.
  

 

[kix4kix]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by kix4kix

A chick seriously asked me today - Why do all men just want to have sex? The simple answer: because we are designed to do so.
It amazes me that 20+ somethings can still have such a little clue as to the difference in males. Yes women want to have sex just as much, and in many cases more than their male counter-parts, but lets not fool ourselves. Men have an innate tendency to spread their seeds. Exclude marriages for a second. When in a relationship, a man has far more reason to stray. 1) There are simply more women than men 2) As previously stated in this thread a women is far more likely to be with a male she desires who is committed as opposed to an undesirable one without a "mate" 3) Every advantage in settling down is really given to the woman.

Simply the cost/benefit of being in a committed relationship in this society is far more advantageous for the female than the male, it would therefore be reasonable to suggest that a female cheating on a male is far more insulting and unforgivable, as it represents that she feels the other male is probably more suitable for a mate than you, where as if I am getting at other women, it is only to exercise my ego, and really doesn't equate to me wanting the "other" woman over mine, just a supplement.

Still, have not cheated on my girl yet, and have no intention too. It's an adjustment, and bland at times, but it's well worth the sacrifice for me. 

Like I said to wawaweewa. That's a cop out argument that men tend to use to justify why cheating happens.
  

It is not a cop out, it's the truth. Men as humans (as you stated) still have the decision to not cheat. Just as women do. In current society, not ancient times how is it more beneficial for women to spread their seed? I'll wait......

 

[kix4kix]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by kix4kix

A chick seriously asked me today - Why do all men just want to have sex? The simple answer: because we are designed to do so.
It amazes me that 20+ somethings can still have such a little clue as to the difference in males. Yes women want to have sex just as much, and in many cases more than their male counter-parts, but lets not fool ourselves. Men have an innate tendency to spread their seeds. Exclude marriages for a second. When in a relationship, a man has far more reason to stray. 1) There are simply more women than men 2) As previously stated in this thread a women is far more likely to be with a male she desires who is committed as opposed to an undesirable one without a "mate" 3) Every advantage in settling down is really given to the woman.

Simply the cost/benefit of being in a committed relationship in this society is far more advantageous for the female than the male, it would therefore be reasonable to suggest that a female cheating on a male is far more insulting and unforgivable, as it represents that she feels the other male is probably more suitable for a mate than you, where as if I am getting at other women, it is only to exercise my ego, and really doesn't equate to me wanting the "other" woman over mine, just a supplement.

Still, have not cheated on my girl yet, and have no intention too. It's an adjustment, and bland at times, but it's well worth the sacrifice for me. 

Like I said to wawaweewa. That's a cop out argument that men tend to use to justify why cheating happens.
  

It is not a cop out, it's the truth. Men as humans (as you stated) still have the decision to not cheat. Just as women do. In current society, not ancient times how is it more beneficial for women to spread their seed? I'll wait......

 

[kix4kix]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by wawaweewa


Scenario:

Say you can see the future. You get with a  guy you really like and for 1 or 2 or 3 years you have the greatest time of your life. Then he cheats. 

Knowing this, would you even start the relationship (say your memory of the future gets wiped at this point

) ? 

Nope.

If I get to knowing a guy and I think at first there is potential in a relationship...I ask him, did you cheat before in a serious relationship? If he admits and says yes, tt's done. I know not to get with that person. I know that once a cheater is not always a cheater, but most cheaters are serial cheaters. If you showed weakness in moral character like that in the past in a relationship and you cheated, you are more likely to do it again. Not taking that chance.
  

And what if he just lies to you about his past- a trait far more consistant with a "cheater". good formula there 

 

[kix4kix]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by wawaweewa


Scenario:

Say you can see the future. You get with a  guy you really like and for 1 or 2 or 3 years you have the greatest time of your life. Then he cheats. 

Knowing this, would you even start the relationship (say your memory of the future gets wiped at this point

) ? 

Nope.

If I get to knowing a guy and I think at first there is potential in a relationship...I ask him, did you cheat before in a serious relationship? If he admits and says yes, tt's done. I know not to get with that person. I know that once a cheater is not always a cheater, but most cheaters are serial cheaters. If you showed weakness in moral character like that in the past in a relationship and you cheated, you are more likely to do it again. Not taking that chance.
  

And what if he just lies to you about his past- a trait far more consistant with a "cheater". good formula there 

 

[uptownsdotnetstacky]

A lot of foolishness is present in this thread

 

[uptownsdotnetstacky]

A lot of foolishness is present in this thread

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by kix4kix

It is not a cop out, it's the truth. Men as humans (as you stated) still have the decision to not cheat. Just as women do. In current society, not ancient times how is it more beneficial for women to spread their seed? I'll wait......

Your question can be used for both men and women. How are men still programmed to be seed spreaders when it comes to monogamous relationships? What are the benefits for men to cheat to want to spread their seed outside a monogamous relationship? If they were cheating in order to make offspring with the women they cheat with, then I can see it. You can use that argument for polygamous relationships and that men get with many women to spread their seed and have many offsprings by multiple women. But, that's not the reason men cheat outside a monogamous relationship. So why is that biological argument used explaining why men cheat? That's my point.

And what if he just lies to you about his past- a trait far more consistant with a "cheater". good formula there 


If he lies about having cheated or other shady things in his past and I find out some other way? Yup, he will be cut. If he lied to me about something like that, I wonder what else he lied to me about in his past and what else he is capable of lying about or hide from me.

  

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by kix4kix

It is not a cop out, it's the truth. Men as humans (as you stated) still have the decision to not cheat. Just as women do. In current society, not ancient times how is it more beneficial for women to spread their seed? I'll wait......

Your question can be used for both men and women. How are men still programmed to be seed spreaders when it comes to monogamous relationships? What are the benefits for men to cheat to want to spread their seed outside a monogamous relationship? If they were cheating in order to make offspring with the women they cheat with, then I can see it. You can use that argument for polygamous relationships and that men get with many women to spread their seed and have many offsprings by multiple women. But, that's not the reason men cheat outside a monogamous relationship. So why is that biological argument used explaining why men cheat? That's my point.

And what if he just lies to you about his past- a trait far more consistant with a "cheater". good formula there 


If he lies about having cheated or other shady things in his past and I find out some other way? Yup, he will be cut. If he lied to me about something like that, I wonder what else he lied to me about in his past and what else he is capable of lying about or hide from me.

  

 

[raptors29]

Originally Posted by FeeninLikeJodeci

Over the years, I've done alot of research, and have figured out the 5 main Reasons why a Women would Cheat on You:

#5. Familiarity breeds contempt
Oxytocin Levels (a Bonding chemical released during sex) with the Same Partner begin to drop after 4 years, sometimes even earlier. Which means long term relationships are simply not natural

#4. Lack of Mystery
Most dudes come home from work, watch TV, and fall asleep, wake up and do it all over again the next day. When a woman knows your "routine" like the back of her hand, it kills attraction. She has to be wondering what your doing at all times, if your with another chick etc.

#3. Not dominant enough. (Boldness)
You cant ask a woman to do something, you just do it.

#2. Alpha Male/Beta Male
Throughout the course of history, 80% of Women have reproduced, while only 40% of Men have. Given the choice, most women will share an Alpha dude, than having exclusitivity with a Beta, since they and their offspring stand a better chance of survival with the Alpha dude.

#1. Not Being in Shape
Its debateable whether looks are important to Women as they are to us, however you most likely wont have very much stamina if your in poor Shape.

I definitely agree with this! 

 

[raptors29]

Originally Posted by FeeninLikeJodeci

Over the years, I've done alot of research, and have figured out the 5 main Reasons why a Women would Cheat on You:

#5. Familiarity breeds contempt
Oxytocin Levels (a Bonding chemical released during sex) with the Same Partner begin to drop after 4 years, sometimes even earlier. Which means long term relationships are simply not natural

#4. Lack of Mystery
Most dudes come home from work, watch TV, and fall asleep, wake up and do it all over again the next day. When a woman knows your "routine" like the back of her hand, it kills attraction. She has to be wondering what your doing at all times, if your with another chick etc.

#3. Not dominant enough. (Boldness)
You cant ask a woman to do something, you just do it.

#2. Alpha Male/Beta Male
Throughout the course of history, 80% of Women have reproduced, while only 40% of Men have. Given the choice, most women will share an Alpha dude, than having exclusitivity with a Beta, since they and their offspring stand a better chance of survival with the Alpha dude.

#1. Not Being in Shape
Its debateable whether looks are important to Women as they are to us, however you most likely wont have very much stamina if your in poor Shape.

I definitely agree with this! 

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by wawaweewa

We haven't really evolved much to be honest. I'd think all the killing, lying, stealing just in the past century is evidence of that. 
Most men couldn't care less whether you believe this or that. Frankly, the exact reason behind it doesn't matter. All that matters is that it's common enough  to not be the exception (but it isn't the rule either). 

It wasn't about the grass begin greener. It was just about sex. Sex isn't sacred. It's sex. Is peeing sacred? Women have a hard time understanding this because they're emotional feelings are linked to their sexual activity. For men, it's different. It can be about love if shared with someone you love but it doesn't have to be. I've had sex with chicks who I wouldn't' even hang out with even if I got paid for it. 

What I meant by evolving is that there is a difference between humans and animals. Humans will still act out of primary human nature instincts, but if they are full capable as a human, then they can make that RATIONAL and LOGICAL choice to not commit those acts. That's the difference in how we evolved beyond primal instincts.

Just sex? If I am in a monogamous relationship, any kind of intimacy I share with my man is sacred, even a kiss. Intimacy only shared between both of you provides that feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together only. It strengthens your bond,doesn't it? In a monogamous relationship, we made a pact and boundaries of an exclusive and committed relationship. Any kind of emotional or physical embrace and affection my man shares with another women is not sacred to me then anymore. As partners in a monogamous relationship, what's so unique and special about our intimacy if you and I are banging others on the side?

So if a girl you loved had sex with another man, you'd say, oh it's just sex?

as human beings we add meaning to these things, wawa has a point sex is just sex......we are somewhat conditioned to associate sex with love. There have been many societies in the past that have been ok with making this distinction-eg. allowing your husband/wife to engage in orgies. Even some couples in our society flourish by separating the two (i.e. swingers). Again I see where you're coming from but wawa makes a very valid point that is very difficult to swallow for some. At the end of the day what creates that strong bond between partners has very little to do with sex if you think about it. You can be strongly in love with a woman and lust for another.


As human beings we have the gift of reason and ability to go against our carnal urges but many (men in particular) can't fight it forever.

 

[antonlavey]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by wawaweewa

We haven't really evolved much to be honest. I'd think all the killing, lying, stealing just in the past century is evidence of that. 
Most men couldn't care less whether you believe this or that. Frankly, the exact reason behind it doesn't matter. All that matters is that it's common enough  to not be the exception (but it isn't the rule either). 

It wasn't about the grass begin greener. It was just about sex. Sex isn't sacred. It's sex. Is peeing sacred? Women have a hard time understanding this because they're emotional feelings are linked to their sexual activity. For men, it's different. It can be about love if shared with someone you love but it doesn't have to be. I've had sex with chicks who I wouldn't' even hang out with even if I got paid for it. 

What I meant by evolving is that there is a difference between humans and animals. Humans will still act out of primary human nature instincts, but if they are full capable as a human, then they can make that RATIONAL and LOGICAL choice to not commit those acts. That's the difference in how we evolved beyond primal instincts.

Just sex? If I am in a monogamous relationship, any kind of intimacy I share with my man is sacred, even a kiss. Intimacy only shared between both of you provides that feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together only. It strengthens your bond,doesn't it? In a monogamous relationship, we made a pact and boundaries of an exclusive and committed relationship. Any kind of emotional or physical embrace and affection my man shares with another women is not sacred to me then anymore. As partners in a monogamous relationship, what's so unique and special about our intimacy if you and I are banging others on the side?

So if a girl you loved had sex with another man, you'd say, oh it's just sex?

as human beings we add meaning to these things, wawa has a point sex is just sex......we are somewhat conditioned to associate sex with love. There have been many societies in the past that have been ok with making this distinction-eg. allowing your husband/wife to engage in orgies. Even some couples in our society flourish by separating the two (i.e. swingers). Again I see where you're coming from but wawa makes a very valid point that is very difficult to swallow for some. At the end of the day what creates that strong bond between partners has very little to do with sex if you think about it. You can be strongly in love with a woman and lust for another.


As human beings we have the gift of reason and ability to go against our carnal urges but many (men in particular) can't fight it forever.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

my thing is...if you honestly believe men or people aren't meant to be monogamous why get into a monogamous relationship?

i dont care that people dont believe in monogamy...but i do care that they dont believe it but then lead their partner to believe they do

Because some people feel being in one is the "right" thing to do. Plus people fear being alone forever, because they know someday their tool won't be able to work. So they will settle for a relationship over being single and not having a fully operating penis.

Plus some folks want a family. They want everything about a relationship just not the monogamy portion of it.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

my thing is...if you honestly believe men or people aren't meant to be monogamous why get into a monogamous relationship?

i dont care that people dont believe in monogamy...but i do care that they dont believe it but then lead their partner to believe they do

Because some people feel being in one is the "right" thing to do. Plus people fear being alone forever, because they know someday their tool won't be able to work. So they will settle for a relationship over being single and not having a fully operating penis.

Plus some folks want a family. They want everything about a relationship just not the monogamy portion of it.

 

[wawaweewa]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by wawaweewa


Scenario:

Say you can see the future. You get with a  guy you really like and for 1 or 2 or 3 years you have the greatest time of your life. Then he cheats. 

Knowing this, would you even start the relationship (say your memory of the future gets wiped at this point

) ? 

Nope.

If I get to knowing a guy and I think at first there is potential in a relationship...I ask him, did you cheat before in a serious relationship? If he admits and says yes, tt's done. I know not to get with that person. I know that once a cheater is not always a cheater, but most cheaters are serial cheaters. If you showed weakness in moral character like that in the past in a relationship and you cheated, you are more likely to do it again. Not taking that chance.
  

Suit yourself. You're gonna miss out on a lot of good dudes ( no mo) and end up getting with some simp who'll do you dirty in another way. Everybody's got their *@@* side. 
Part of this stems from individuals pride/ ego. "How can you cheat on me?". "I'm better than that". Getting cheated on is a serious blow to the ego if you choose to define cheating in that way. 

 

[wawaweewa]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by wawaweewa


Scenario:

Say you can see the future. You get with a  guy you really like and for 1 or 2 or 3 years you have the greatest time of your life. Then he cheats. 

Knowing this, would you even start the relationship (say your memory of the future gets wiped at this point

) ? 

Nope.

If I get to knowing a guy and I think at first there is potential in a relationship...I ask him, did you cheat before in a serious relationship? If he admits and says yes, tt's done. I know not to get with that person. I know that once a cheater is not always a cheater, but most cheaters are serial cheaters. If you showed weakness in moral character like that in the past in a relationship and you cheated, you are more likely to do it again. Not taking that chance.
  

Suit yourself. You're gonna miss out on a lot of good dudes ( no mo) and end up getting with some simp who'll do you dirty in another way. Everybody's got their *@@* side. 
Part of this stems from individuals pride/ ego. "How can you cheat on me?". "I'm better than that". Getting cheated on is a serious blow to the ego if you choose to define cheating in that way. 

 

[BranchLifestyle]

Originally Posted by wawaweewa

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by wawaweewa


Scenario:

Say you can see the future. You get with a  guy you really like and for 1 or 2 or 3 years you have the greatest time of your life. Then he cheats. 

Knowing this, would you even start the relationship (say your memory of the future gets wiped at this point

) ? 

Nope.

If I get to knowing a guy and I think at first there is potential in a relationship...I ask him, did you cheat before in a serious relationship? If he admits and says yes, tt's done. I know not to get with that person. I know that once a cheater is not always a cheater, but most cheaters are serial cheaters. If you showed weakness in moral character like that in the past in a relationship and you cheated, you are more likely to do it again. Not taking that chance.
  

Suit yourself. You're gonna miss out on a lot of good dudes ( no mo) and end up getting with some simp who'll do you dirty in another way. Everybody's got their *@@* side. 
Part of this stems from individuals pride/ ego. "How can you cheat on me?". "I'm better than that". Getting cheated on is a serious blow to the ego if you choose to define cheating in that way. 

How the %%+# else would you take getting cheated on fambs?
You could easily say "yo imma brush it off cuz now I know she's not for me and keep it pushing"....but is that really how you would act if you were in a relationship with a woman you truly cared for and loved?

 

[BranchLifestyle]

Originally Posted by wawaweewa

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by wawaweewa


Scenario:

Say you can see the future. You get with a  guy you really like and for 1 or 2 or 3 years you have the greatest time of your life. Then he cheats. 

Knowing this, would you even start the relationship (say your memory of the future gets wiped at this point

) ? 

Nope.

If I get to knowing a guy and I think at first there is potential in a relationship...I ask him, did you cheat before in a serious relationship? If he admits and says yes, tt's done. I know not to get with that person. I know that once a cheater is not always a cheater, but most cheaters are serial cheaters. If you showed weakness in moral character like that in the past in a relationship and you cheated, you are more likely to do it again. Not taking that chance.
  

Suit yourself. You're gonna miss out on a lot of good dudes ( no mo) and end up getting with some simp who'll do you dirty in another way. Everybody's got their *@@* side. 
Part of this stems from individuals pride/ ego. "How can you cheat on me?". "I'm better than that". Getting cheated on is a serious blow to the ego if you choose to define cheating in that way. 

How the %%+# else would you take getting cheated on fambs?
You could easily say "yo imma brush it off cuz now I know she's not for me and keep it pushing"....but is that really how you would act if you were in a relationship with a woman you truly cared for and loved?