Anti Pick-up Lines

[reigillm]

Him: Can I have your name?
Her: Why, don’t you have one already?

Him: So, what do you do for a living?
Her: I’m a female impersonator.

Him: What’s your sign?
Her: Do not enter.

Him: Will you go out with me on Saturday?
Her: Sorry, I’m having a headache this weekend.

Him: I think I could make you very happy.
Her: Are you leaving?

Him: Can I buy you a drink?
Her: I’d rather have the money.

Him: Didn’t we go on a date once? Or twice, maybe?
Her: Must’ve been once, ’cause I never make the same mistake twice.

Him: I’m a photographer, and I’ve been looking for a face like yours.
Her: I’m a plastic surgeon, and I’ve been looking for a face like yours.

Him: Where have you been all my life?
Her: Hiding from you.

Him: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Her: If I could see you naked, I’d die laughing.

 

[10 piece nuggets]

Him: What’s your sign?
Her: Do not enter.

 

[damnneardeadstock]

i smirked

 

[sneakerking757]

 

[servechilled81]

Girl, I put the STD in STUD.

 

[razzle dazzle]

- Haven't we met before?
- Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

- Haven't I seen you someplace before?
- Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

- Is this seat empty?
- Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

- So, wanna go back to my place?
- Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

- Your place or mine?
- Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

- I'd like to call you. What's your number?
- It's in the phone book.
- But I don't know your name.
- That's in the phone book too.

- How do you like your eggs in the morning?
- Unfertilized !

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason
- Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

- I know how to please a woman.
- Then please leave me alone.

- I want to give myself to you.
- Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

- I can tell that you want me.
- Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

- Your body is like a temple.
- Sorry, there are no services today.

- I'd go through anything for you.
- Good! Let's start with your bank account.

- I would go to the end of the world for you.
- Yes, but would you stay there, please?

 

[pip777]

 

[gucci mane]

"Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason
- Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

- I know how to please a woman.
- Then please leave me alone.

- I want to give myself to you.
- Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

- Your body is like a temple.
- Sorry, there are no services today."

 

[i am nas]

i'd just give a chick that responded like that one of these

dumb broads lol

 

[josephskc]

Originally Posted by ServeChilled81

Girl, I put the STD in STUD.

Don't forget the "All I need is U"

 

[kingjrmzair23]

I lol'd

 

[trillipinotrapstar]

Originally Posted by reigillm



Him: What’s your sign?
Her: Do not enter.

This one got me.

 

[k00laid]

 

[k00laid]

 

[luis baller 88]

Hey, did you just fart? Cause you just blew me away

 

[omgitswes]

Originally Posted by razzle dazzle


- I'd like to call you. What's your number?
- It's in the phone book.
- But I don't know your name.
- That's in the phone book too.

  

 
So grimey

 

[bottom74bottom]

Originally Posted by ServeChilled81

Girl, I put the STD in STUD.

Now  all I need is U baby

 

[JayDean03]