Crazy stories from your job.

Mr.Guy · May 3, 2018

Can u get aids from a bj?

beh235 · May 3, 2018

Mr.Guy said:
Can u get aids from a bj?

Possible, but it's the least risky mode of transmission

nawghtyhare · May 3, 2018

Mr.Guy said:
Can u get aids from a bj?

Can u meet up with ninja

Mr.Guy · May 3, 2018

nawghtyhare said:
Can u meet up with ninja

I will this summer

getback · May 3, 2018

Back in the summer of 2011 about 5 months after I quit a job I got a text from a random number. It was all flirty in nature and they wouldn't say who they were. I was half excited, half felt like I'm being trolled. They eventually texted something like "send me a pic, I want to see what a tall slim dude is packing down there." So I'm like nah not until you reveal yourself. They still won't. So I'm starting to think someone's messin with me. I go "that's aight I'm just gonna have my homie that works at Verizon lift your number and ID you," (complete bulls**t). So the person must've believed it, gets all shook and reveals HIMself. The gay dude I used to work with who got a hold of my phone number from the staff book. :sick:

sharpshooter718 · May 3, 2018

beh235 said:
I actually work in HIV, I'm glad you played it smart. It's always a *whew* situation when you don't get anything, but when you do get it.....It's not pretty. Stay safe y'all.

Good looks , my bm works in HIV too.. she tells me about some of her clients and how they look or how they got it... most people get it and doNT know they got it til somebody else tells them they got it ... or they feel a little sick go for a check up and get bad news...

Shorty was bad bUT not bad enough for me to catch the germ cause of her looks..

nawghtyhare · May 3, 2018

getback said:
Back in the summer of 2011 about 5 months after I quit a job I got a text from a random number. It was all flirty in nature and they wouldn't say who they were. I was half excited, half felt like I'm being trolled. They eventually texted something like "send me a pic, I want to see what a tall slim dude is packing down there." So I'm like nah not until you reveal yourself. They still won't. So I'm starting to think someone's messin with me. I go "that's aight I'm just gonna have my homie that works at Verizon lift your number and ID you," (complete bulls**t). So the person must've believed it, gets all shook and reveals HIMself. The gay dude I used to work with who got a hold of my phone number from the staff book.

If u don’t lawyer up
And get paid
Specially if he got it out the staff book
There’s rules of conduct at every job

Fozz · May 3, 2018

getback said:
Back in the summer of 2011 about 5 months after I quit a job I got a text from a random number. It was all flirty in nature and they wouldn't say who they were. I was half excited, half felt like I'm being trolled. They eventually texted something like "send me a pic, I want to see what a tall slim dude is packing down there." So I'm like nah not until you reveal yourself. They still won't. So I'm starting to think someone's messin with me. I go "that's aight I'm just gonna have my homie that works at Verizon lift your number and ID you," (complete bulls**t). So the person must've believed it, gets all shook and reveals HIMself. The gay dude I used to work with who got a hold of my phone number from the staff book.

Oh, that's so not cool.

wayniac211 · May 3, 2018

APLUS said:
That’s a tough read but I think I understand what you’re trying to say.

Like you said, you only live once. That guy made poor decisions and he has to deal with the consequences. It sucks someone ratted him out but he’s not a victim.

His poor decision was getting too greedy/caught. Gotta keep your eyes open and ten toes down.

sharpshooter718 said:
So b4 Time warner cable turned into Spectrum, I worked at the executive office on 59th st ...

the top finance executive had this bad executive assistant. I never really paid too much attention to her when I first got there.. but after a few months, we actually became really close... probably the closest, in the entire office as everyone thought we were boning...

We kept it friendly until one day the office was empty af on a Friday and I went to the liquor store across the street and bought some fine whisky from a bougeious spot. so I gave her some in a cup with ice put it on her desk and went back to my office..

About 20 mins later she's knocking on the door, she walks in with a look I've seen a few times before from other femalez...

She gets down on her knees and starts giving me a BJ... I'm at a lost for words cause the baddest chick in the office is doming me up overlooking central park....
I didnt get to bust but I told her it's cool ...

Plot twist : she's married , but not happy of course. She knew about my kids and my situation as well. She gave me an ultimatum to leave my shorty and she's gonna get a divorce and we can be together...

So fast forward about a couple weeks later... we were both at a different location about 10 blocks down..

Once again the office is empty.. due to merger talks and ****. We go out for drink 2 Aves down... it was on Cinco de mayo actually, remembering it as I type... so we have like 3 or 4 frozen margaritas, and like 2 or 3 shots. We were ****ed up...

So we get back to the office to get our bags and she knocks on my doors which had a card scanner to get into... I opened the door and she drops to her knees for another bj...

I was actually about to bust so I pulled her off, and proceeded to eat her out on the IT desk, she came in my mouth, I even ate her groceries. Not even gonna lie, after walking around all day, shorty smelled and tasted like she took a shower not long ago. I was suprised, so she spreads her legs and I have no condom... she's like, "pUT it inside". I'm just tapping the box with my wood but not entering... I told her let me go down stairs for a rubber , she said you cam jus pull out...

I told her I doNT get down like that if we ain't in a relationship, she got mad af...

She wanted that raw pipe... but couldn't get it...

We never really clicked like that after but we messed around a little bit here and there , i ended up leaving that office and wr dont speak anymore...there's alot more to the story but that be a novel...lol

Fd up when you got “close”. That’s how they lure you in! nice Deflection!

Belgium · May 3, 2018

I think I might have mentioned it already at some point in the past but the craziest and most baffling experience I've had at work involved a patient being admitted to the ER with water poisoning. I was a nursing intern at the time. It turned out the guy really was addicted to water, he couldn't stop drinking and was suffering from acute water poisoning due to having drank between 7 and 8 liters (2.11 US gallons) in a row. After he was admitted to the ER he was begging for more water so they put him in a room for further observation and treatment. They shut off the water supply in his room but the guy then tried to go into the bathroom and drink the water that was left in the toilet. He was restrained in time and they locked the bathroom door. He became so desperate about not having anything to drink that he grabbed and quickly drank a whole bottle of disinfectant that was in the room. Unfortunately I'm not sure what happened to the guy after that.

getback · May 3, 2018

nawghtyhare said:
If u don’t lawyer up
And get paid
Specially if he got it out the staff book
There’s rules of conduct at every job

Nah man this was 7 years ago I didn't even think of it like that at the time. I just brushed it off.

DCAllAfrican · May 3, 2018

@geno622 @geno90221

Give us some gems Geno!

sharpshooter718 · May 3, 2018

I was stationed in camp pendleton from 04-06..

Grunt unit, 5th marines blah blah blah....

I just came from spending a year in Okinawa... I get to pendleton and it's nice... all dudes in my unit/area but it's cool.

So one Monday shortly after I get there there is a area wide barracks inspection...

I was in the combat engineer battalion next to the grunts...

So of course my room is clean... the grunt unit had a full drug set up supplying half of socal...

Dudes was cooking meth.... bagging up coke, cooking up crack rock, and other stuff... like 20 people got kicked out... another 20 or so was punished for popping on piss test etc....

This was in the height of OIF 2....

A gunnery Sgt went to iraq, found out his wife was cheating. Played it cool... woke her up early smashed it out , took her for a picnic in the woods of camp pendleton.. bashed her over the head with a shovel and buried her body in a pre made plot ... she was found a few weeks later and he went to the brig...

My homeboy tried to hang himself in the barracks after he got back from iraq... my other homeboy walked in on him maybe 20 seconds from dieing...

Fozz · May 3, 2018

^ Whoa, that's crazy.

you go boy · May 3, 2018

bodeine brazy said:
I got a semi boner reading that

werd same here... bout to go check out the cam sites right now :evil:

beh235 · May 3, 2018

sharpshooter718 said:
Good looks , my bm works in HIV too.. she tells me about some of her clients and how they look or how they got it... most people get it and doNT know they got it til somebody else tells them they got it ... or they feel a little sick go for a check up and get bad news...

Shorty was bad bUT not bad enough for me to catch the germ cause of her looks..

Yeah man, the stories are crazy outchea. FYI, it's a virus, not a germ lol. Germs can live outside the body, viruses can't. Sorry, I try to help clarify in any way possible.

tr1ll · May 3, 2018

It’s amazing to me how many women THINK they want a military man. :smh:

nawghtyhare · May 3, 2018

Belgium said:
I think I might have mentioned it already at some point in the past but the craziest and most baffling experience I've had at work involved a patient being admitted to the ER with water poisoning. I was a nursing intern at the time. It turned out the guy really was addicted to water, he couldn't stop drinking and was suffering from acute water poisoning due to having drank between 7 and 8 liters (2.11 US gallons) in a row. After he was admitted to the ER he was begging for more water so they put him in a room for further observation and treatment. They shut off the water supply in his room but the guy then tried to go into the bathroom and drink the water that was left in the toilet. He was restrained in time and they locked the bathroom door. He became so desperate about not having anything to drink that he grabbed and quickly drank a whole bottle of disinfectant that was in the room. Unfortunately I'm not sure what happened to the guy after that.

What happens when u get water poisoning
Like what happens to the body

niceshoes247 · May 3, 2018

Everyone in the bay think there lawyer
:rofl:

Meangene45 · May 3, 2018

getback said:
Back in the summer of 2011 about 5 months after I quit a job I got a text from a random number. It was all flirty in nature and they wouldn't say who they were. I was half excited, half felt like I'm being trolled. They eventually texted something like "send me a pic, I want to see what a tall slim dude is packing down there." So I'm like nah not until you reveal yourself. They still won't. So I'm starting to think someone's messin with me. I go "that's aight I'm just gonna have my homie that works at Verizon lift your number and ID you," (complete bulls**t). So the person must've believed it, gets all shook and reveals HIMself. The gay dude I used to work with who got a hold of my phone number from the staff book.

Should of still sent him one.

Belgium · May 3, 2018

nawghtyhare said:
What happens when u get water poisoning
Like what happens to the body

Depends on how bad it is. Mild water intoxication can occur largely without symptoms. In the bad cases, excess fluid outside of the body's cells starts moving into the body's cells, causing the cells to swell. That can potentially be fatal when the brain starts swelling and causing increased pressure inside the skull.
I'm not sure of the exact symptoms but it's the swelling that causes the problems. Headaches, confusion, anger, ...
Brain swelling and increased intracranial pressure can cause a whole lot of problems.

nawghtyhare · May 3, 2018

Belgium said:
Depends on how bad it is. Mild water intoxication can occur largely without symptoms. In the bad cases, excess fluid outside of the body's cells starts moving into the body's cells, causing the cells to swell. That can potentially be fatal when the brain starts swelling and causing increased pressure inside the skull.
I'm not sure of the exact symptoms but it's the swelling that causes the problems. Headaches, confusion, anger, ...
Brain swelling and increased intracranial pressure can cause a whole lot of problems.

human body so crazy

Comparison Ford · Jan 1, 2020

Comparison Ford said:
I work in the Dietary department at a hospital. One of my co-workers is the strangest person/biggest pathological liar I've ever encountered....I'll refer to him as "Lorenzo". Lorenzo has told everyone at work a million different stories about his past (he was in the Army/Navy/Air Force/Marines, he was stationed in Afghanistan, he's a substitute teacher, he has a Master's Degree, etc.). Pretty impressive for someone that isn't even 25 and can barely construct a coherent sentence. The experience of knowing him is like being perpetually stuck in the ending of the movie The Secret Window. He tells so many lies that you start questioning whether or not he actually told you what you think he told you, and you start thinking that you're imagining things and you're the crazy one. He periodically tells everyone he got accepted into a Police Academy and that he's quitting soon, then he'll spend a week and a half telling everyone about it and gradually start talking about it less and less until he just stops talking about it altogether. This has been going on for 2 years now. If you grill him on it, he'll go into hulk-mode and have a meltdown. I'm slightly convinced that he's a high-functioning autistic, and that the only reasons he hasn't been fired yet is because the supervisors feel bad for him/are amused by his antics/are afraid of what will happen if they do fire him.

Speaking of his anger issues: he puts women on a pedestal and gets extremely angry over things that have no impact upon his own life. A perfect example of this was the time we were sitting in the break room and one of the women in housekeeping was showing off her engagement ring to one of the cooks. The cook and the woman were flirting pretty heavily, so Lorenzo gets beat red in the face and storms out of the room with the quickness. I follow him back into the kitchen and he's freaking out...throwing garbage cans, punching food trucks, etc. I ask him what his problem is and he starts screaming about how she's engaged and she's not supposed to be doing that.

By this point you're probably thinking this is all irrelevant and lackluster, but don't fret....it starts coming together in the next part of the story.

Lorenzo is currently engaged, and is very protective over his fiancee. If anyone makes a joke about her, Lorenzo will be up in their face ready to exchange blows. However, there's a PCA that works on the second floor that took a liking to Lorenzo. I'll refer to her as "Horse Face." Horse Face would call the kitchen looking for Lorenzo so she could ask him if he wanted to go out with her sometime. Lorenzo would yell "STOP IT! I'M ENGAGED!" and hang up on her in front of everybody.

However, it turns out Lorenzo was putting on a front for everyone in the kitchen and was actually hitting her up on the down-low. Lorenzo arranges to meet up with her at an extremely sleazy motel one afternoon. They both arrive there, and Horse Face explains to Lorenzo that she thinks things are moving too fast and suggests that they go do something else first. Flustered, Lorenzo tells Horse Face to get in his car. Lorenzo drives her to a nearby pond, pulls his pants down, whips it out and says "put it in your mouth." Shocked, Horse Face refuses. Lorenzo then proceeds to jerk it in front of her while talking dirty for the next few minutes. Upon completion, Lorenzo drives Horse Face back to her car at the motel and they part ways.

The next day, Horse Face tells one of the other PCAs and the story spreads like wild fire. We're too afraid to approach him directly about it, but we've hinted at it and a meltdown/hilarity ensues every time.

TL;DR:

-I work with a strange character known to lie and melt down easily

-He gets particularly upset over people in relationships being unfaithful because he's engaged

-PCA at work wants his D

-He pretends like he doesn't want it but hits her up on the sly

-She has second thoughts, so he takes her to a pond and masturbates in front of her

-Everyone finds out