Hinge Takeover >>> Tinder, Bumble Pof

 
Just turned 33 on the 11th.
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Yall notice women our age and even older still haven't matured into grown women???

They be the main ones showing out for social media.....like WTF we were actually around before internet.

How do you still lack social skills and qualities of pre internet age folks???

Then at that they have children and still act like children themselves.

Were our parents the last ones to actually act thier age at 30+???

Its like a horrible epidemic....why are 30+ year old women still claiming to be bad  5 star******* and rocking snapchat filter flower crowns and dog ears???

WTF is going on? I take it this is the age where a woman does everything younger women do to still feel young?

You know what else is down right depressing???

When you meet a chick online and you go to her house then you see her older college grad pics and you are like damn....Why can't I have the sexy slender chick you used to be in those pics??? I be feeling cheated as hell man.....

I see why guys date younger the older they get but damn....its not like a career successful mature intelligent man can really connect with them mentally either.

 I swear we are in purgatory
There is a lot going on I feel like. 

The immediacy with which we all have access to "something better" now with online dating really makes people's short attention spans worse and are quick to search for other avenues. Part of this could be in response to past let downs/poor experiences, but a lot of it has to do with this "FOMO" concept or the perception that there is always something else better at a finger swipe or click. 

Second, The "mental age" of people our age is really quite stunted. More people are living with room mates and furthering "late on set adulthood" due to poor economic and pay rate factors. Thus encouraging and concretizing the "college" mentalities you see by and large. From personal experience, this would not bother me given my overall attitude toward "growing up" and losing touch with a youthful, positive mentality IF it were not for people wanting their cake and eating it too. 

What I mean by that is the mentality you find where individuals want to be able to have no strings "fun" but they seek in a partner rather unrealistic expectations and goals given their own personal mindset. I do not try to actively date younger people, but their mentalities far more fit my own. In my experience, people our age want someone with a career, home, car, etc. Things we deem to be "adult" accessories and objects. I truly could care less about those things, so I already am at a disadvantage when looking to try and attempt any sort of relationship with anyone as a 33 year old "man." That does not even take into account sexual/gender identity. 

Finally, you mention "rust." As someone who 3 years ago left a 10 year relationship that started when I was 21, I was cast into a VASTLY different dating world than when we first maybe were doing this. Online dating was just really kind of taking hold with OKC, MATCH, and POF. But Tinder, Bumble, Sapio, Grindr weren't a thing yet. The swipe for satisfaction mentality had not become the standard within the dating world yet. You still had to commodify yourself and talk about deeper things than Chipotle, "Baes", and "Swag". The cliche, trite, regurgitated buzz words that are now so common place in our 150 character profile world. Dating now requires what I feel a ridiculous amount of revision and commodification of yourself as a "product" in the digital realm to be successful, or you try the old fashioned way and really find very little because everyone has gone digital as it is the way it just is now. A lot of hit and miss and time investment with little to no pay off I have found in my personal experience. Maybe it is just culture now for this country, as I have had very different reults in my travels to Japan, where they utitlize online dating ina very different way. 
 
All these sites have been nothing but a waste of time for me. The more I'm on these sites just further proves my point that these stupid white chicks are beyond racist towards Mexicans and non black Latinos and the Latina bro ads on those sites only want douche white guys. The black women on those sites that hit me up are generally bottom of the barrel type and Asians only date white boys. So in other words, I'm f'd
 
 
There is a lot going on I feel like. 

The immediacy with which we all have access to "something better" now with online dating really makes people's short attention spans worse and are quick to search for other avenues. Part of this could be in response to past let downs/poor experiences, but a lot of it has to do with this "FOMO" concept or the perception that there is always something else better at a finger swipe or click. 

Second, The "mental age" of people our age is really quite stunted. More people are living with room mates and furthering "late on set adulthood" due to poor economic and pay rate factors. Thus encouraging and concretizing the "college" mentalities you see by and large. From personal experience, this would not bother me given my overall attitude toward "growing up" and losing touch with a youthful, positive mentality IF it were not for people wanting their cake and eating it too. 

What I mean by that is the mentality you find where individuals want to be able to have no strings "fun" but they seek in a partner rather unrealistic expectations and goals given their own personal mindset. I do not try to actively date younger people, but their mentalities far more fit my own. In my experience, people our age want someone with a career, home, car, etc. Things we deem to be "adult" accessories and objects. I truly could care less about those things, so I already am at a disadvantage when looking to try and attempt any sort of relationship with anyone as a 33 year old "man." That does not even take into account sexual/gender identity. 

Finally, you mention "rust." As someone who 3 years ago left a 10 year relationship that started when I was 21, I was cast into a VASTLY different dating world than when we first maybe were doing this. Online dating was just really kind of taking hold with OKC, MATCH, and POF. But Tinder, Bumble, Sapio, Grindr weren't a thing yet. The swipe for satisfaction mentality had not become the standard within the dating world yet. You still had to commodify yourself and talk about deeper things than Chipotle, "Baes", and "Swag". The cliche, trite, regurgitated buzz words that are now so common place in our 150 character profile world. Dating now requires what I feel a ridiculous amount of revision and commodification of yourself as a "product" in the digital realm to be successful, or you try the old fashioned way and really find very little because everyone has gone digital as it is the way it just is now. A lot of hit and miss and time investment with little to no pay off I have found in my personal experience. Maybe it is just culture now for this country, as I have had very different reults in my travels to Japan, where they utitlize online dating ina very different way. 
Nail on the head!

Got damn...

My man dropping gems
All these sites have been nothing but a waste of time for me. The more I'm on these sites just further proves my point that these stupid white chicks are beyond racist towards Mexicans and non black Latinos and the Latina bro ads on those sites only want douche white guys. The black women on those sites that hit me up are generally bottom of the barrel type and Asians only date white boys. So in other words, I'm f'd
It really sucks because most see the way things are only from behind a computer in the US.

I was lucky enough to be blessed with access to the rest of the world....

I strongly encourage young men build your life up in means to have access to places outside of the US....

where things actually run in a dynamic human enviroment without social media and computers and smartphones
 
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Blame getting a Film Studies/New Media degree and hours upon hours of reading critical theory for my long winded, jargon laced response to something that isn't even related to my education hahaha.
 
 
Blame getting a Film Studies/New Media degree and hours upon hours of reading critical theory for my long winded, jargon laced response to something that isn't even related to my education hahaha.
I started to feel like an alien.....glad to see there are men seeing the same thing.
 
Good hint of advice there. I have to look into it because I just turned 33 and I'm beyond desperate at this point. Part of the problem with me is I have no clue where to go? Latin America is out of the question because being Mexican and Salvadorian, I can tell you both cultures are ultra racist and seek the lighter skinned, colored eye guys which I am not. I also dont want to go anywhere I'm just going to be used for a green card
I know exactly where you are mentally man.

Yes I've lived and worked in Colombia and spent time in Mazatlan...I know how it is there.

What exactly are you seeking?

Sexual attraction and acceptance from women or something more like a solid relationship with a woman at this point?
 
I know exactly where you are mentally man.
Yes I've lived and worked in Colombia and spent time in Mazatlan...I know how it is there.
What exactly are you seeking?
Sexual attraction and acceptance from women or something more like a solid relationship with a woman at this point?
Yup... The Sinaloan women and Jalisco women are the worst. They've been the sole purpose why I've shut down Mexican women period. My dad is from Sinaloa but there's a big racial division and my dad isn't a light skinned dude with green eyes nor is my mom. As far as what I'm looking for, I'm just looking for someone I'm attracted to physically and spiritually. Someone that isn't playing games and will be the balance to me as I tend to be stubborn and fiery like most Aries. Age really isn't a matter to me either.
 
Naw I actually am...by experience.
Been around the world twice since I was 18..worked and lived in and visited 31 countries since.
Lived in all the hotspot major cities of the US and did everything a young man could dream of doing.
Met women of several races nationality and walks of life.

When you've done it all you start to pursue an end game.

I can respect that
 
 
I started to feel like an alien.....glad to see there are men seeing the same thing.
Well, I think it is everyone who is relatively intelligent is realizing it, it is not specific to gender/sexuality. 

Trust me, even though I am fully aware, it does not stop me from thinking I am an alien haha. But I face more challenges as someone queer, so it is REALLY something else entirely. 
 
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There is a lot going on I feel like. 

The immediacy with which we all have access to "something better" now with online dating really makes people's short attention spans worse and are quick to search for other avenues. Part of this could be in response to past let downs/poor experiences, but a lot of it has to do with this "FOMO" concept or the perception that there is always something else better at a finger swipe or click. 

Second, The "mental age" of people our age is really quite stunted. More people are living with room mates and furthering "late on set adulthood" due to poor economic and pay rate factors. Thus encouraging and concretizing the "college" mentalities you see by and large. From personal experience, this would not bother me given my overall attitude toward "growing up" and losing touch with a youthful, positive mentality IF it were not for people wanting their cake and eating it too. 

What I mean by that is the mentality you find where individuals want to be able to have no strings "fun" but they seek in a partner rather unrealistic expectations and goals given their own personal mindset. I do not try to actively date younger people, but their mentalities far more fit my own. In my experience, people our age want someone with a career, home, car, etc. Things we deem to be "adult" accessories and objects. I truly could care less about those things, so I already am at a disadvantage when looking to try and attempt any sort of relationship with anyone as a 33 year old "man." That does not even take into account sexual/gender identity. 

Finally, you mention "rust." As someone who 3 years ago left a 10 year relationship that started when I was 21, I was cast into a VASTLY different dating world than when we first maybe were doing this. Online dating was just really kind of taking hold with OKC, MATCH, and POF. But Tinder, Bumble, Sapio, Grindr weren't a thing yet. The swipe for satisfaction mentality had not become the standard within the dating world yet. You still had to commodify yourself and talk about deeper things than Chipotle, "Baes", and "Swag". The cliche, trite, regurgitated buzz words that are now so common place in our 150 character profile world. Dating now requires what I feel a ridiculous amount of revision and commodification of yourself as a "product" in the digital realm to be successful, or you try the old fashioned way and really find very little because everyone has gone digital as it is the way it just is now. A lot of hit and miss and time investment with little to no pay off I have found in my personal experience. Maybe it is just culture now for this country, as I have had very different reults in my travels to Japan, where they utitlize online dating ina very different way. 



View media item 2410743
 
PERSONALLY IM JUST GOOFING OFF....

LIKE I MENTIONED A FEW PAGES BACK, MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED, TYING THE KNOT IN 10 DAYS.....

SO IM JUST PASSING TIME. I'LL JUST STICK TO FB & IG... ALL THESE SITES ARE FOR THE BIRDS...

CHICKS ARE:
-CRAZY,
-LOOKING FOR HANDOUTS
-BROKE AS HELL
-GOT A GANG OF KIDS
-LOOKING TO SET YOU UP

AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.....


IMO AINT NO WOMAN IN HER 100% RIGHT MIND USING ONE OF THESE APPS LOOKING FOR "LOVE".....
I GOT A HOMIE THAT HITS THE BARS ON RANDOM WEEKENDS AND BAG ******** LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS....THE OLD SCHOOL WAY.


1 HOUR AGO, SHORTY SENDS ME HER NUMBER ON BUMBLE.... SHE'S LIKE FACETIME ME... IM LIKE OK COOL.
I CALL, PHONE FREEZES, I HANG UP AND CALL RIGHT BACK.... SHE SAYS "YOU PLAYING, IM STRAIGHT. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO CALL ME
WITH THE CAMERA FACING THE CEILING" SO I EXPLAIN THE PHONE FROZE.... SHE CONTINUED GOING OFF SAYING "YOU A WASTE OF TIME *** *****"

I HIT HER WITH THE OK....

#DELETED
#BLOCKED
 
PERSONALLY IM JUST GOOFING OFF....

LIKE I MENTIONED A FEW PAGES BACK, MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED, TYING THE KNOT IN 10 DAYS.....

SO IM JUST PASSING TIME. I'LL JUST STICK TO FB & IG... ALL THESE SITES ARE FOR THE BIRDS...

CHICKS ARE:
-CRAZY,
-LOOKING FOR HANDOUTS
-BROKE AS HELL
-GOT A GANG OF KIDS
-LOOKING TO SET YOU UP

AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.....


IMO AINT NO WOMAN IN HER 100% RIGHT MIND USING ONE OF THESE APPS LOOKING FOR "LOVE".....
I GOT A HOMIE THAT HITS THE BARS ON RANDOM WEEKENDS AND BAG ******** LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS....THE OLD SCHOOL WAY.


1 HOUR AGO, SHORTY SENDS ME HER NUMBER ON BUMBLE.... SHE'S LIKE FACETIME ME... IM LIKE OK COOL.
I CALL, PHONE FREEZES, I HANG UP AND CALL RIGHT BACK.... SHE SAYS "YOU PLAYING, IM STRAIGHT. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO CALL ME
WITH THE CAMERA FACING THE CEILING" SO I EXPLAIN THE PHONE FROZE.... SHE CONTINUED GOING OFF SAYING "YOU A WASTE OF TIME *** *****"

I HIT HER WITH THE OK....

#DELETED
#BLOCKED
WTF???

You are getting married in 10 days????
 
Naw I actually am...by experience.
Been around the world twice since I was 18..worked and lived in and visited 31 countries since.
Lived in all the hotspot major cities of the US and did everything a young man could dream of doing.
Met women of several races nationality and walks of life.

When you've done it all you start to pursue an end game.

I can respect that

Yeah no need to feel no way about it, we lived and still got much more to do. **** ain't stressful, just boring till the end game clicks.
 
WTF???

You are getting married in 10 days????

YEP :lol :lol

ONCE THAT HAPPENS, IM OUT THE GAME.

BUT FROM WHAT IVE BEEN TOLD BY MY MARRIED BUDDIES IS THAT ONCE YOU GET MARRIED, ******* BE COMING LEFT AND RIGHT AND SOME OF THEM BE MARRIED AS WELL AS SINGLE. :rolleyes :rolleyes
 
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YEP
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laugh.gif


ONCE THAT HAPPENS, IM OUT THE GAME.

BUT FROM WHAT IVE BEEN TOLD BY MY MARRIED BUDDIES IS THAT ONCE YOU GET MARRIED, ******* BE COMING LEFT AND RIGHT AND SOME OF THEM BE MARRIED AS WELL AS SINGLE.
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SO lemme get this straight.......

You are getting married in 10 days and you are still worried about whats on dating sites and FB/IG thots???

You entertaining hooking up with women on Bumble and you getting married in 10 days???

Dawg...I don't judge....BUT

Got damn you are in for a world of misery getting married and tied down....

If you still have these urges and this mentality of us single guys you are not ready for what comes with marrying a woman.

You are pretty much putting your future and financial freedoms in this woman's and your state's hands.

Why are you settling down if you still wanna hook up with women on Bumble???

Shoudl'ntt you be madly in love and been had tunnel vision outiside of all this BS us single guys indulge in???

Maybe you will prove my logic wrong but I feel if you haven't been out the game when you engaged to that woman ....you damn sure just aint gonna automatically fall out of the game after you get married.

Please tell me you just trolling us....
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SO lemme get this straight.......

You are getting married in 10 days and you are still worried about whats on dating sites and FB/IG thots???
You entertaining hooking up with women on Bumble and you getting married in 10 days???

Dawg...I don't judge....BUT
View media item 2311607


Got damn you are in for a world of misery getting married and tied down....
If you still have these urges and this mentality of us single guys you are not ready for what comes with marrying a woman.
You are pretty much putting your future and financial freedoms in this woman's and your state's hands.
Why are you settling down if you still wanna hook up with women on Bumble???
Shoudl'ntt you be madly in love and been had tunnel vision outiside of all this BS us single guys indulge in???
Maybe you will prove my logic wrong but I feel if you haven't been out the game when you engaged to that woman ....you damn sure just aint gonna automatically fall out of the game after you get married.

Please tell me you just trolling us....:rollin


View media item 1523385


TRUST ME MY GUY.... IM OUT OF THE GAME...

LIKE I SAID, IM JUST PASSING TIME IN THE MEANTIME. NO BS.

I HAVENT HAD ANY SIDE ACTION IN QUITE SOMETIME... I TELL MY HOMIES ALL THE TIME, I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO TALK TO THESE CHICKENS ANYMORE... AND WHEN I DO ITS AWKWARD FOR ME. MY PHONE BARELY RINGS NOW, DM'S ARE DESERT DRY. :lol :lol

KINDA LIKE ONE OF THOSE, "LEMME SEE IF I STILL GOT IT" TYPE THINGS.... AND I DEFINITELY DONT :rollin :rollin
 
 
Nail on the head!
Got damn...
Good hint of advice there. I have to look into it because I just turned 33 and I'm beyond desperate at this point. Part of the problem with me is I have no clue where to go? Latin America is out of the question because being Mexican and Salvadorian, I can tell you both cultures are ultra racist and seek the lighter skinned, colored eye guys which I am not. I also dont want to go anywhere I'm just going to be used for a green card
Why desperate?

You're 33yo. You haven't even hit your peak yet.

Continue to flourish with your career, pursue your hobbies, and go out into the world.
 
Why desperate?

You're 33yo. You haven't even hit your peak yet.

Continue to flourish with your career, pursue your hobbies, and go out into the world.

It has to be the fact that I've never really had any lucky with women. The few that I've gotten close to have friendzoned me and I just feel like this is the one thing I've failed in life. I mean, as hard as I try to get the attention of women, they just pass me by like a bologne sandwich with no mayo
 
@PedroCerrano  I feel ya. I have had two long term relationships, been with an amount of people I can count on one hand (cue the sophomoric humor). But you cannot measure your own "success" by what others do. You have to gauge for yourself, and ultimately, in all these interactions, did you learn anything? What to and not to say, how to go about things differently, etc. 

Plus it only takes the one person to see you for more than others do, so worry about improving yourself and others will take notice.
 
@PedroCerrano
 I feel ya. I have had two long term relationships, been with an amount of people I can count on one hand (cue the sophomoric humor). But you cannot measure your own "success" by what others do. You have to gauge for yourself, and ultimately, in all these interactions, did you learn anything? What to and not to say, how to go about things differently, etc. 

Plus it only takes the one person to see you for more than others do, so worry about improving yourself and others will take notice.

Yeah... You know what? I have learned things about those failures. The first being not giving everything to someone until they truly show they're worth it. I've learned not to try wooo someone and avoid being the "simp" I was being. But at times I feel like I'm just more and more jaded when I look at women. It's weird. I see women and I'm already judging then negatively, almost as a way to make myself feel better for her not liking me or giving me her attention. I will say I was a bit bigger a few years ago. I went from being 280 down to 245 and hitting the weights everyday. And ultimately, it's the being ignored by women that keeps me going to the gym. It's hard trying to be less of a "simp" when you're a big guy because now the vibe I've gotten when I've asked a few random girls is that I come off as "intimidating" and I don't know wtf that even means.
 
 
Why desperate?

You're 33yo. You haven't even hit your peak yet.

Continue to flourish with your career, pursue your hobbies, and go out into the world.
It has to be the fact that I've never really had any lucky with women. The few that I've gotten close to have friendzoned me and I just feel like this is the one thing I've failed in life. I mean, as hard as I try to get the attention of women, they just pass me by like a bologne sandwich with no mayo
Wrong approach in that you're probably coming off desperate / try-hard.

Just do your own thing, talk to people, and always have the mindset that you're the prize.

Chase your passions, not the birds. The birds will come when you're living well.

There's nothing more delicious than @PedroCerrano being indifferent, cool, and spreading positive vibes. Life is contagious, so live it well.
 
I had a POF account I forgot I had from back in the day. Saw spam email and put some new picks up just for ***** and giggles about 6 months before I got married.

It was cool to still pull em but those Dm conversations actually made me happy I was getting married.
 
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