Married NTrs how common is this in your circles?

[ksteezy]

I know being polygamous is natural, at our core we are still animals with instincts, being monogamous is a conscious choice, not a natural one....animals don't get married...animals don't plan families, animals don't make choices based on conscious decisions, they act on instinct.

Love is a human trait, something we made up, is not instinctual, so don't mix up love with the instinctual urge to be polygamous....it really isn't that complicated....you love a woman, you be true to her, if ya both agree on a polygamous Union, I can see that as love, is still strange to love a woman and consciously bang other women and allow her to bang other men....but I'll repeat it again, no deceit, no lie, no hurt...guess you can claim that as love because that's what you BOTH interpreted YOUR love to be.

Nobody is being forced into a monogamous relationship, you can be monogamous without emotionally involving someone else, is called being SINGLE

 

[ksteezy]

Now can we call it what it really is, most men just want a guilt free pass to claim 1 woman as yours, yet blame their polygamous, lu****l ways on nature

Reason why is much easier for us here to discuss you banging other woman and say how natural it is, but you don't really want to hear your wife getting her P pounded to oblivion by other men....women are as polygamous by instinct as we as men are...lol

 

[Chopper]

Now can we call it what it really is, most men just want a guilt free pass to claim 1 woman as yours, yet blame their polygamous, lu****l ways on nature

Reason why is much easier for us here to discuss you banging other woman and say how natural it is, but you don't really want to hear your wife getting her P pounded to oblivion  BOLIVIA by other men....women are as polygamous by instinct as we as men are...lol

Truth. 

 

[Grine]

My wife goes both ways. So another woman in our playbook isn't harmful for us.

Now she talking about wanting a live in girlfriend lol

 

[al audi]

My wife goes both ways. So another woman in our playbook isn't harmful for us.

Now she talking about wanting a live in girlfriend lol

I guess one could say you're lucky guy. You live in LA right?

 

[al audi]

Lionblood are you the bisexual NTr? Or this that a diff member?

 

[al audi]

Gotcha, yea

2nd part for sure.

 

[ksteezy]

I don't know bro, comparing us to animals when talking about love seems a bit farfetched, to me animals act on instinct not reason, the instinct to survive and to procreate/mate....animals come together not because of love, but because they need to mate, unlike us we come together and learn to love one another by reason, not instinct...you may want to bang a chick off pure natural instinct, but the thought of comitting and wanting to be with that woman the rest of your life I can't scratch that off as instinctual, that **** takes work, sacrifice, trust, so many things go into play to simply call it instinct.

I do somewhat see your point tho, specially when it comes to your children, i see the instinctual nature of that type of love, is effortless, you simply just love them, you didn't need to learn to love them, you just do, same with that maternal/paternal love, you didn't need to learn to love your parents, you just do....you just don't love your wife/husband, you had to learn to love them to get to that point and it wasn't based on mating season or because she was in heat.

 

[ksteezy]

Bro I see what you are saying, but the love you feel for the person you decide to build a life with is not the same love you feel for your mother or your kids, yes initially you "fall in love" but you do t continue to fall for 50+ years with that person, you have to learn to stay in love, people don't celebrate their 50th anniversary out of instinct, they built that together, they adapted, they sacrificed and yes they used reason to develop that love....falling in and out of love has no reasoning, you are right with that, staying IN love tho is more than that, that's why I said and I can't really argue your 3rd point, about those relationships being healthy, because if this is something you both came to conclude that is YOUR thing and how you demonstrate love for one another or keep the flame going and it helps ya stay together by all means, I find it strange because that's not my personal definition of love.

**** I've been with my lady for almost 16 years now, soon enough it'll be longer than half my life and my love for her has gone through so many different phases over the years, no way you gonna convince me being with someone this long and enduring the ups and downs is simply instinctual

 

[ksteezy]

No all that other stuff you're doing is working to against your natural inclinations, that isn't what love is, that's just making sure your relationship lasts 50 years even knowing the odds are against it. A lot of relationships like the ones you described are simply 2 people going through the motions. Making your relationship last is not what love is. You love your wife end of story, all that other stuff is just doing what married couples do to tolerate one another. 


Every healthy relationship requires trust, sacrifice, understanding, and all that good stuff to work....whether it be a friendship, monogamous and polyamorous relationships alike,  even parents with their children. At the end of the day, none of this matters if you do not love someone. 

But you sacrifice and build with someone you love....I couldn't see myself doing the things I do for her and going through the motions if I didn't love her....do people do that? Must be a miserable time :x So simply put...just how the interpretation of love for a polygamous couple is to be in an open relationship, my interpretation of love is to consciously make a decision to be monogamous....as long as this keeps the relationship healthy, strong and the two involved happy....by all means.

 

[al audi]

Well damn

Good points made past 2 pages Lionblood

Also Steezy I hope you never get a divorce like Will and Jada lol.


If that happens I will lose hope. Edit: will and jada a not a good example they prob on some open stuff

 

[ksteezy]

Well damn

Good points made past 2 pages Lionblood

Also Steezy I hope you never get a divorce like Will and Jada lol.

If that happens I will lose hope.

Least someone who doesn't need to resort to insults to have a discussion wether agreeable or not

Refreshing on NT

 

[al audi]

Least someone who doesn't need to resort to insults to have a discussion wether agreeable or not

Refreshing on NT

Yes I def thought the same.

 

[Grine]

I guess one could say you're lucky guy. You live in LA right?

Atlanta.

The only way this worked is that we have extreme trust. I let her handle the hook-up, communication, and the girl.

I don't know about having two women in one house, that's a little too much. My wife hates drama and assures me it won't be any.

 

[Grine]

How do you even get this conversation started? I'm terrified to even bring it up in relationships. I guess you just have to get a feel for it.


I'm sure this is rarer amongst younger couples but as people get older and bored, I'm sure one drunken night with mutual friends could easily turn into an orgy......and that breaks the ice?

 

[ksteezy]

That's such a wild lifestyle....is like ya tag team a woman, there is even an actual date? Jealousy never plays even the slightest role?

 

[art vandelay]

That's such a wild lifestyle....is like ya tag team a woman, there is even an actual date? Jealousy never plays even the slightest role?

I would think at some point jealousy would come in, as long as there is feeling/emotion involved, jealousy would have to factor in somewhere.

 

[Grine]

That's such a wild lifestyle....is like ya tag team a woman, there is even an actual date? Jealousy never plays even the slightest role?

 

[jking0821]

No all that other stuff you're doing is working to against your natural inclinations, that isn't what love is, that's just making sure your relationship lasts 50 years even knowing the odds are against it. A lot of relationships like the ones you described are simply 2 people going through the motions. Making your relationship last is not what love is. You love your wife end of story, all that other stuff is just doing what married couples do to tolerate one another. 


Every healthy relationship requires trust, sacrifice, understanding, and all that good stuff to work....whether it be a friendship, monogamous and polyamorous relationships alike,  even parents with their children. At the end of the day, none of this matters if you do not love someone. 

But you sacrifice and build with someone you love....I couldn't see myself doing the things I do for her and going through the motions if I didn't love her....do people do that? Must be a miserable time :x So simply put...just how the interpretation of love for a polygamous couple is to be in an open relationship, my interpretation of love is to consciously make a decision to be monogamous....as long as this keeps the relationship healthy, strong and the two involved happy....by all means.

People do this all the time. Probably why the divorce rate is so high. A lot plays into "love". People are driven by having kids and starting a family. Some times you dont' find the one you "love" you find the one you respect and care for. If everyone in the world only got married and had kids if they were truly 100% in love im sure that would be a grand total of about 10% of current marriages. But love isn't always the driving factor when it comes to kids/family/life/stability/social norms/happiness.

But seriously great points on both sides and can def see where both people are coming from. I def don't think there is a right way and wrong way to do it. Just different ways reps to both of you

 

[$tacy]

Atlanta.

The only way this worked is that we have extreme trust. I let her handle the hook-up, communication, and the girl.

I don't know about having two women in one house, that's a little too much. My wife hates drama and assures me it won't be any.

U are a very lucky man. We are at the curious stage now and basically reviewing all the does, fonts and what ifs. Once the ink dry she's gonna go out and recruit and I shall enjoy this said luxury.

 

[Grine]

U are a very lucky man. We are at the curious stage now and basically reviewing all the does, fonts and what ifs. Once the ink dry she's gonna go out and recruit and I shall enjoy this said luxury.

Bro, just make sure she handles everything. You want your mate to feel secure and that you can trusted. Keep the communication open.  

Because one day, the 3rd person is going to try you and get you for themselves. if that happens, cut them off.   

Hope it works out.  

 

[Grine]

 
Wait, how would you feel if another dude gets introduced to the picture....I'm surprised no one has asked that yet. 

Won't happen. Trust me.

I asked her and she only want women in the picture.  

 

[Grine]

 
Oh, at least you offered. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of dudes who are into open relationships but only involving other women. I'm pretty open minded about this but aint no way Im letting my girl smash some dude who is bigger than me (which doesn't happen very often). I'd have to handpick the dudes she can smash. 

I didn't offered. I made sure that wasn't part of the deal. 

 

[al audi]

Interesting thread interesting discussion

 

[Grine]

 
 

I was over here thinking you were truly into that swinging life. 

Only threesomes, bro.

She wants to do swinger lifestyle with just women. But, I don't know if I am ready for that level.