NEW TREND...ENGAGEMENT WATCHES...CHICKS'S GET RINGS...WE GET WATCHES

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

I am not against EVERYthing. Don't exaggerate it. But a lot of things I have an issue with it. Why? How am I supposed to know why I question everything, just who I am.

And the point of an engagement ring is to stunt (as I mentioned earlier), so yes I know the point of it. Make the lady feel nice so she can show people she is engaged. That is the point. LOVE is not the point of it. Putting her in a position to talk about how "great" her soon to be marriage life is the point.

This is essentially every stance I find myself resorting to.
Tradition is never a good reason for me to justify things...If I can't find a reason to do something, I don't do it. I just don't like doing things that don't grant any literal benefit. 

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by BrotherForReal

ksteezy since you're married, compa...how do you feel after it was all said and done?

I'm very happy, married my best friend, building on a future together, the ring is a small price to pay in order to put a smile on her face, for those who view it as just a materialistic thing....here is what a lot of dudes fail to see, specially those who's relationship has not reached that selfless level, the engagement ring is not about us guys, it's about her...it's what a lot of women have been programmed to since birth, you expect to come by and re-program what has been drilled into her since a little girl?...c'mon bros...you really gonna deprive the love of your life of it simply because of your own selfish ideals?...what's a couple a grand?...majority of us have blown far more on sneaker collections, jewelry, cars, all which are really meaningless materialistic things, the hipocrisy of some of you to judge....c'mon man

Good for you. 




Uh wrong. Throwing money at happiness. Right. Great values. 




See this is the problem. And when we try to address it, you get your panties in a bunch. 

Waaaaait a minute. Did you just contradict yourself? You admit she's been brainwashed, but then i'm selfish for trying to address materialism? 

This is why credit card companies LOVE you. Keep playing into their hands and wondering why your collective net-worth is under 10Gs. 

Oh, and while i'm kinda skeptical about the idea of rings, I'm REALLY against the idea of watches because it really doesn't carry the same value and "tradition" that a ring does. Its not an object of permanence. Especially if you don't get something that can be worn at all times. 

But hey, at the end of the day, spend your money how YOU want to...just don't get defensive when others disagree with you, or don't find the same meaning in those things that you do.

 

[703flipfiend]

My girlfriend of 7 years and I were talking about this. We'd rather have a small wedding and spend that money on more typical things that will help us out in the long run instead of spending a ton of money on ONE DAY. It was her idea. I always thought it but I would have never said it to her because I felt every girl wanted their big day to be outlandish. Thank goodness she saw the light that it's not that serious lol. There are student loans, bills, and down payments to take care of. I will probably do it kinda big for her ring, but for the ceremony and reception? Naaaa.

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by MonStar1

With all due respect arent you a 17 year old virgin?  Or a 18 year old freshman in college?

Your opinion is pretty immature and I'm sure will change homie.

I'll let this response answer your question.

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

If I said yes or no what would you believe was true? So essentially me answering would be pointless.

Why is my opinion immature? Is it immature because I'm young? Is the concept of not wanting to spend money on something with only aesthetic purposes really immature? Or is it because I have never felt "true love" and I'm "selfishly immature" that my opinion is immature?

I never said I never wanted to spend money on someone else. I said I'd rather spend that money on something that would really help them out in their life. Like a car. Or some money for a house. Yes, I know the ring brings a lot of security, and sentimental value, and it shows how I love her with all my heart, but are we really financially secure enough that that money couldn't be spent on something both me and her could agree would be better?

Of course if we both have a net worth of $100 million and we collectively own 3 houses and 5 cars then yes, we'd have nothing else to spend the money on. But if you're like most people who need money for a down payment for a new home, spending $20k (or whatever is 1/4 of your income) on jewelry is kind of a bad decision.

I'm not criticizing anyone's decision on what to do with their money or how they want to treat their loved ones. I said personally I found it ridiculous to spend so much money on jewelry just because of what it signifies. If that makes me immature, then I hope one day I'll find a girl who is also immature enough to respect and understand that mindset.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by 703FlipFiend

My girlfriend of 7 years and I were talking about this. We'd rather have a small wedding and spend that money on more typical things that will help us out in the long run instead of spending a ton of money on ONE DAY. It was her idea. I always thought it but I would have never said it to her because I felt every girl wanted their big day to be outlandish. Thank goodness she saw the light that it's not that serious lol. There are student loans, bills, and down payments to take care of. I will probably do it kinda big for her ring, but for the ceremony and reception? Naaaa.

A lot of females don't care about how BIG the wedding is to be honest. I don't suggest keeping quiet about things as serious as that because it might harbor negative energy. If you go along with a big wedding, say if she wanted one, and spent all of this $ and ended up having trouble doing what you needed to do financially you would probably be blaming her in the back of your head. I think for stuff that serious, you need to speak up and not keep quiet.

@KSteezy, all I will say is that you don't read. You claim we fail to realize it is all about her, well if you read you would have seen that typed out numerous times. So you really didn't say anything that wasn't already said.

@HankMoody

 

[omgitswes]

I actually like this idea. I don't wear rings, never have, never will....unless it was a wedding band.
But I'd much rather have a watch instead of a ring

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by scshift

Yes, I know the ring brings a lot of security

But it doesn't. A ring doesn't secure a damn thing Monta.

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

I'm very happy, married my best friend, building on a future together, the ring is a small price to pay in order to put a smile on her face, for those who view it as just a materialistic thing....here is what a lot of dudes fail to see, specially those who's relationship has not reached that selfless level, the engagement ring is not about us guys, it's about her...it's what a lot of women have been programmed to since birth, you expect to come by and re-program what has been drilled into her since a little girl?...c'mon bros...you really gonna deprive the love of your life of it simply because of your own selfish ideals?...what's a couple a grand?...majority of us have blown far more on sneaker collections, jewelry, cars, all which are really meaningless materialistic things, the hipocrisy of some of you to judge....c'mon man

Ksteezy, I respect you and I like your posts so understand this is nothing against you personally. And don't shoot this down without reading it cause of my age. Read this post like you found it written on a piece of paper on the bus.

A lot of men have been programmed to have the idea that it is respectable and commendable to sleep with a lot of beautiful women. Yet, whenever I see this idea brought up, you denounce it as an immature and pathetic mindset. A lot of women are programmed to believe that they need to be light-skinned, slim and have straight hair in order to be beautiful and worthy in society. A lot of men are programmed to believe they must be muscular, drive a fast car and be strong in order to be a "real man". I'm sure you disagree with these societal programmings as well.

Just because something is programmed into your head doesn't make it a good idea.

"You really gonna deprive the love of your life of it simply because of your own selfish ideals?" - How is it selfish? No one is saying they want to take the money they would have spent on the ring and spend it on some Jordans. They said they would have spent it on something like a house, or a car. How is that selfish? You're simply buying something else that both of you can use and will provide much more than a ring.

"What's a couple a grand?" - Ask the couples who are struggling to pay their mortgages.

I know I might not have much experience in real life. But I know for a fact it isn't like a fairy tale where the man buys the wife a $100,000 ring and a $2,000,000 wedding and they live happily ever after. There are people occupying Wall Street right now desperate for jobs. There are people having homes foreclosed cause they can't keep up the payments. It's easy to imagine life it you are a millionaire. I'm sure every single person in this thread would buy their wives something expensive the woman liked if they had Bill Gates money. But none of us do. Compromises have to be made in order to benefit BOTH sides. It's not being selfish if you're trying to make a better life for your significant other.

Don't discredit my opinion, just read it and think nothing of me.

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by scshift

Yes, I know the ring brings a lot of security

But it doesn't. A ring doesn't secure a damn thing Monta.

Yeah I know. It was sarcasm, it also doesn't signify "how I love her with all my heart".

I'm with you on this argument, but dudes are just going to ignore my voice cause of my lack of experience instead of the point itself.

 

[ksteezy]

Oh look!!!...it's sillyputty!...I'm so surprised, we really gonna get back into this???...what is it to you??...you are so much about perspective, yet is sooooooo crazy for you to comprehend that we shall all lead our lives differently, I'm not pushing my beliefs on to anyone, I'm just stating how I feel, to me a 3-6k on a ring is nothing for the woman I'm marrying, add up everything I've spent on clothes and is far beyond that figure.

Your opinion on this matter is extremely biased if you are not married or even considering the thought, I don't even know why I waste my time...I personally like to keep my girl happy, wether is belief, brainwashed, or whatever else you call it, it's my choice and hers to go along with it, get off your damn high horse trying to shut everyone's ideals down that differ from what you believe in...go live your life the way you want bro.

DC - its beyond the content of this thread, a lot of dudes view this topic in a very selfish way, I did myself at one point "hell she gets a ring, the hell do I get?" if you understand that and know that a lot of the value and idea of an enagagememt ring is for the woman's happiness then what are we arguing here about?...why are some of you so intensely caught up on doing things so different, like what is really so wrong about marriage, tradition, religious belief, a RING?

Btw no one said go out and spend 3 months salary on a ring, depending on the woman she'll be happy with a damn 700$ ring, it's just the idea behind it for a lot of them....you are asking them to marry you and here is a ring to back it up, not just randomly some day ya sitting down at McDonald's and say "sup, let get married" ::throws a burger in mouth::

Get the picture?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

DC - its beyond the content of this thread, a lot of dudes view this topic in a very selfish way, I did myself at one point "hell she gets a ring, the hell do I get?" if you understand that and know that a lot of the value and idea of an enagagememt ring is for the woman's happiness then what are we arguing here about?...why are some of you so intensely caught up on doing things so different, like what is really so wrong about marriage, tradition, religious belief, a RING?

1. But I am the "ring leader" of this discussion and I never once said, "What am I getting out of this." I never said that or even hinted at that. I am simply saying that spending a LOT of $ on a ring and a wedding when you have other things that you (and your woman) to take care is just backwards. Let me repeat it since you keep missing the point.

Spending a LOT of $ on a ring and a wedding when you have other things that you (and your woman) to take care is just backwards.

It is ONE day and you have things that need to be paid for already so why compound it for the sake of fulfilling someone's childhood. I don't make emotional decisions and that would be an emotional decision. Why you ask? Because I am trying to make her happier before doing what is practical. Yes, forget her happiness if that means I have to scale back on a wedding and ring because we have things we NEED to pay for. How and why does that make me a bad guy?

Finally, why is it when I disagree with a practice I get accused of disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing. Why is it beyond your comprehension that I might actually not agree with a practice. That really bothers me that you think I disagree just to disagree, no I actually don't agree with it all.

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by ksteezy

I'm very happy, married my best friend, building on a future together, the ring is a small price to pay in order to put a smile on her face, for those who view it as just a materialistic thing....here is what a lot of dudes fail to see, specially those who's relationship has not reached that selfless level, the engagement ring is not about us guys, it's about her...it's what a lot of women have been programmed to since birth, you expect to come by and re-program what has been drilled into her since a little girl?...c'mon bros...you really gonna deprive the love of your life of it simply because of your own selfish ideals?...what's a couple a grand?...majority of us have blown far more on sneaker collections, jewelry, cars, all which are really meaningless materialistic things, the hipocrisy of some of you to judge....c'mon man

Ksteezy, I respect you and I like your posts so understand this is nothing against you personally. And don't shoot this down without reading it cause of my age. Read this post like you found it written on a piece of paper on the bus.

A lot of men have been programmed to have the idea that it is respectable and commendable to sleep with a lot of beautiful women. Yet, whenever I see this idea brought up, you denounce it as an immature and pathetic mindset. A lot of women are programmed to believe that they need to be light-skinned, slim and have straight hair in order to be beautiful and worthy in society. A lot of men are programmed to believe they must be muscular, drive a fast car and be strong in order to be a "real man". I'm sure you disagree with these societal programmings as well.

Just because something is programmed into your head doesn't make it a good idea.

"You really gonna deprive the love of your life of it simply because of your own selfish ideals?" - How is it selfish? No one is saying they want to take the money they would have spent on the ring and spend it on some Jordans. They said they would have spent it on something like a house, or a car. How is that selfish? You're simply buying something else that both of you can use and will provide much more than a ring.

"What's a couple a grand?" - Ask the couples who are struggling to pay their mortgages.

I know I might not have much experience in real life. But I know for a fact it isn't like a fairy tale where the man buys the wife a $100,000 ring and a $2,000,000 wedding and they live happily ever after. There are people occupying Wall Street right now desperate for jobs. There are people having homes foreclosed cause they can't keep up the payments. It's easy to imagine life it you are a millionaire. I'm sure every single person in this thread would buy their wives something expensive the woman liked if they had Bill Gates money. But none of us do. Compromises have to be made in order to benefit BOTH sides. It's not being selfish if you're trying to make a better life for your significant other.

Don't discredit my opinion, just read it and think nothing of me.

That's the thing bro, make DC or Silly millionaires and they will still oppose the idea, tradition, its Ben their MO whenever this topic is brought up, to them is not about the money or how much the ring costs, it's the idea of it that they can't seem to comprehend or open up to, not even for themselves, but enough to respect that other men will hold off on buying those new kicks or that new TV and save up for a year in order to buy that ring, because they know it will make her happy and because they want to commit and take their relationship one step further, there are girls out there that are fine with being the GF or baby momma, who don't want to get married, who don't care for a ring, but I seriously wonder if these dudes will stand their ground and tater walk away from the woman they love because she just feels different and does want to get married and does want a ring, even of its a 300$ ring, THEY WANT IT....what then?We've all been programmed to believe in different things, that's what a personality is IMO....we all have different beliefs, different approaches to situations, we all have a different meaning for what happiness is.

 

[dirtylicious]

bottom line is.. spend what you can afford
keep on budget.

 

[ksteezy]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by ksteezy

DC - its beyond the content of this thread, a lot of dudes view this topic in a very selfish way, I did myself at one point "hell she gets a ring, the hell do I get?" if you understand that and know that a lot of the value and idea of an enagagememt ring is for the woman's happiness then what are we arguing here about?...why are some of you so intensely caught up on doing things so different, like what is really so wrong about marriage, tradition, religious belief, a RING?

1. But I am the "ring leader" of this discussion and I never once said, "What am I getting out of this." I never said that or even hinted at that. I am simply saying that spending a LOT of $ on a ring and a wedding when you have other things that you (and your woman) to take care is just backwards. Let me repeat it since you keep missing the point.

Spending a LOT of $ on a ring and a wedding when you have other things that you (and your woman) to take care is just backwards.

It is ONE day and you have things that need to be paid for already so why compound it for the sake of fulfilling someone's childhood. I don't make emotional decisions and that would be an emotional decision. Why you ask? Because I am trying to make her happier before doing what is practical. Yes, forget her happiness if that means I have to scale back on a wedding and ring because we have things we NEED to pay for. How and why does that make me a bad guy?

Finally, why is it when I disagree with a practice I get accused of disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing. Why is it beyond your comprehension that I might actually not agree with a practice. That really bothers me that you think I disagree just to disagree, no I actually don't agree with it all.

No one is saying spend the last of your savings on a ring or a wedding...if you can't afford it and there is love I'm sure she'll understand, if she doesn't then it might be time to move on, but I get the feeling it's NOT about the money, from what I've read it seems is about the idea....tell me is all about the lack of money and how something's have more priority, like a roof over ya hea and I completely will agree with you, tell me is because she's spoiled and brainwashed and even if you had the money and resources for it and you rather save it or spend it on other things and that's what I cant agree with, Bottomline is ultimately what makes the both of you happy, not just you.

 

[lazyj10]

One note on the wedding -

Unless you're basically elpoping and/or paying for it yourselves, the festivitites are based on both parents putting on an event for the rest of your familiy and friends. The sheer amount of input people have is annoying. I've gone through it, it sucks. We'd do a lot different in terms of the reception. It is what it is.

My wife's engagement ring was basically part family heirloom. The 2 out of the 3 stones were from my Grandmother's ring. The other one? I got wholesale through a friend of mine whose wife is a jeweler. I didn't spend no 3 months salary. I also know my wife and know she's not into flaunting some huge rock thats going to bring her attention. She doesn't want that. Half the dudes who go and buy an engagement ring have no clue what their fiance is going to want. If she's adament about a particular size or dollar amount, clearly a red flag. Mine wasn't, I was.

Her wedding band is a "lace" ring which our friend made. It's white gold and awesome because the lace outline was similar to her wedding dress, the symbolism in it and it being unique is what makes it cool.

 

[hankmoody]

DC, because your line of thinking would invalidate damn near every purchase on the face of this earth but you only seem to pop up in certain threads. Where are you in the car threads? The bachelor pad thread? The Polo thread? Those are all purchases based on values that probably don't align with yours. Where are you? Why do you assume and judge others in here and not there?

What is worth a purchase for you? Why?

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

That's the thing bro, make DC or Silly millionaires and they will still oppose the idea, tradition, its Ben their MO whenever this topic is brought up, to them is not about the money or how much the ring costs, it's the idea of it that they can't seem to comprehend or open up to, not even for themselves, but enough to respect that other men will hold off on buying those new kicks or that new TV and save up for a year in order to buy that ring, because they know it will make her happy and because they want to commit and take their relationship one step further, there are girls out there that are fine with being the GF or baby momma, who don't want to get married, who don't care for a ring, but I seriously wonder if these dudes will stand their ground and tater walk away from the woman they love because she just feels different and does want to get married and does want a ring, even of its a 300$ ring, THEY WANT IT....what then?We've all been programmed to believe in different things, that's what a personality is IMO....we all have different beliefs, different approaches to situations, we all have a different meaning for what happiness is.

If they want it, and you want to give it to her, then get her one. Those who don't want to get their girls rings will find girls who don't want rings.

It's all relative though. If I can easily afford the ring and she wants one, then I'll get her one. The key phrase is "easily afford". Unless she's happy with a $100 ring, we're going to rub elbows because I'm against spending big dollars on something like that.

Come on. We all have opinions on whether something is worth/not worth the money. How many girls do you know are down with a cheap ring like that? I mean, if you told your wife you wanted a diamond encrusted plasma TV with a built in PS3 because it really, really makes you happy, don't you think she would be reluctant and even unwilling to purchase it for you because she knows it's a reach?

What is the harm in buying her something that will make her happy, granted that you're still spending money on her? Isn't that what we're trying to do anyways, show the girl that we love her since we're willing to drop lots of cash on her? Well since I'm already throwing down stacks on hundreds, why not get something that we both agree is useful like a car. Or furniture. I mean, I'm not really tight with people who measure love by the amount of money you transfer, but even if you are, why not at least spend it on something that she likes AND has more use?

I'm sure DC and Silly would have no problems getting their girls rings. Alright, maybe the rings costed about as much as a sushi dinner. But they still got them rings right? The issue is spending a large sum of money on something with minimal use. That's illogical and wasteful, especially if the couple isn't financially secure.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by HankMoody

DC, because your line of thinking would invalidate damn near every purchase on the face of this earth but you only seem to pop up in certain threads. Where are you in the car threads? The bachelor pad thread? The Polo thread? Those are all purchases based on values that probably don't align with yours. Where are you? Why do you assume and judge others in here and not there?

What is worth a purchase for you? Why?

Polo and Bachleor pad threads I don't even see. Didn't know those threads existed.

Things actually worth a purchase and free of ridicule. Food, Water, Clothes, Shelter. Everything else is a luxury. My luxury is 1 game per year (2K) and eating out once a month (if that). I have been on a quest to get rid of the junk in my world man. Don't mind me.

 

[scshift]

Originally Posted by HankMoody

DC, because your line of thinking would invalidate damn near every purchase on the face of this earth but you only seem to pop up in certain threads. Where are you in the car threads? The bachelor pad thread? The Polo thread? Those are all purchases based on values that probably don't align with yours. Where are you? Why do you assume and judge others in here and not there?

What is worth a purchase for you? Why?

I have no idea what DC's thought process is, but the difference between this thread and the car/bachelor pad/Polo thread is that those threads are about buying something your oneself while this one is about buying an object for someone else.

That's the difference between this thread and the jewelry thread. The argument isn't over the object, it's over the concept of spending money to give someone else a symbol to profess your love to them.

 

[hankmoody]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by HankMoody

DC, because your line of thinking would invalidate damn near every purchase on the face of this earth but you only seem to pop up in certain threads. Where are you in the car threads? The bachelor pad thread? The Polo thread? Those are all purchases based on values that probably don't align with yours. Where are you? Why do you assume and judge others in here and not there?

What is worth a purchase for you? Why?

Polo and Bachleor pad threads I don't even see. Didn't know those threads existed.

Things actually worth a purchase and free of ridicule. Food, Water, Clothes, Shelter. Everything else is a luxury. My luxury is 1 game per year (2K) and eating out once a month (if that). I have been on a quest to get rid of the junk in my world man. Don't mind me.

Go be a monk playboy. I'm done here. You're coming from a nonsensical POV. If every purchase is a luxury to you, then what are we discussing then? Nothing.

 

[hankmoody]

Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by HankMoody

DC, because your line of thinking would invalidate damn near every purchase on the face of this earth but you only seem to pop up in certain threads. Where are you in the car threads? The bachelor pad thread? The Polo thread? Those are all purchases based on values that probably don't align with yours. Where are you? Why do you assume and judge others in here and not there?

What is worth a purchase for you? Why?

I have no idea what DC's thought process is, but the difference between this thread and the car/bachelor pad/Polo thread is that those threads are about buying something your oneself while this one is about buying an object for someone else.

That's the difference between this thread and the jewelry thread. The argument isn't over the object, it's over the concept of spending money to give someone else a symbol to profess your love to them.

Ah so it's cool if it's for me but it's terrible for anyone else. I can violate values I impose on others as long as the purchase is for me. Cool. Gotcha.

 

[dirtylicious]

Originally Posted by LazyJ10

One note on the wedding -

Unless you're basically elpoping and/or paying for it yourselves, the festivitites are based on both parents putting on an event for the rest of your familiy and friends. The sheer amount of input people have is annoying. I've gone through it, it sucks. We'd do a lot different in terms of the reception. It is what it is.

My wife's engagement ring was basically part family heirloom. The 2 out of the 3 stones were from my Grandmother's ring. The other one? I got wholesale through a friend of mine whose wife is a jeweler. I didn't spend no 3 months salary. I also know my wife and know she's not into flaunting some huge rock thats going to bring her attention. She doesn't want that. Half the dudes who go and buy an engagement ring have no clue what their fiance is going to want. If she's adament about a particular size or dollar amount, clearly a red flag. Mine wasn't, I was.

Her wedding band is a "lace" ring which our friend made. It's white gold and awesome because the lace outline was similar to her wedding dress, the symbolism in it and it being unique is what makes it cool.

Indeed...
thankfully we did not have too much intervention the wedding plans...but there were a few times where it got a bit annoying thinking about.. will "so and so" approve of this choice?

as for the ring..  I got a decent deal as well.. I didn't go overboard b/c I knew my wife didn't want some massive rock, plus she's a small woman... so a massive stone on her finger would just look awkward.

and hell no... 3 months is ridiculous.

 

[baldgrill]

Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by scshift

Yes, I know the ring brings a lot of security

But it doesn't. A ring doesn't secure a damn thing Monta.

Yeah I know. It was sarcasm, it also doesn't signify "how I love her with all my heart".

I'm with you on this argument, but dudes are just going to ignore my voice cause of my lack of experience instead of the point itself.

well duh, your opinion on marriage/engagements/weddings holds no weight when you're just now hitting the age where you can legally watch R rated movies on your own. it's not a knock, it's just not your time to speak on things like this.

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Oh look!!!...it's sillyputty!...I'm so surprised, we really gonna get back into this???...what is it to you??...you are so much about perspective, yet is sooooooo crazy for you to comprehend that we shall all lead our lives differently, I'm not pushing my beliefs on to anyone, I'm just stating how I feel, to me a 3-6k on a ring is nothing for the woman I'm marrying, add up everything I've spent on clothes and is far beyond that figure.

Your opinion on this matter is extremely biased if you are not married or even considering the thought, I don't even know why I waste my time...I personally like to keep my girl happy, wether is belief, brainwashed, or whatever else you call it, it's my choice and hers to go along with it, get off your damn high horse trying to shut everyone's ideals down that differ from what you believe in...go live your life the way you want bro.

DC - its beyond the content of this thread, a lot of dudes view this topic in a very selfish way, I did myself at one point "hell she gets a ring, the hell do I get?" if you understand that and know that a lot of the value and idea of an enagagememt ring is for the woman's happiness then what are we arguing here about?...why are some of you so intensely caught up on doing things so different, like what is really so wrong about marriage, tradition, religious belief, a RING?

Btw no one said go out and spend 3 months salary on a ring, depending on the woman she'll be happy with a damn 700$ ring, it's just the idea behind it for a lot of them....you are asking them to marry you and here is a ring to back it up, not just randomly some day ya sitting down at McDonald's and say "sup, let get married" ::throws a burger in mouth::

Get the picture?

I'm not telling you how to spend your money...but its YOU who admits that even though women are brainwashed, that you still will buy into the stereotypes and fake "traditions"



You're in less control than you really think you are is what it sounds like.




Again. Credit card companies LOVE you: "Well, since i spent 5,000 on this car note, I might as well finance this new TV...hell, throw in this iphone as well!" 

Ah yes...more problems? Throw money at it. 




Girl unhappy? Throw a ring at her




Girl tired? Take her on a trip




Girl feeling frustrated? Buy her some shoes. 




I'm sorry that I value my dollar NOT to fix problems. 




I'm sorry for wanting a girl that is in love with ME over what I can give her. 




Why do I have to be married to comment? You're telling me I gotta blow stacks to stay in a relationship? You telling me it matters more about what I cop rather than who I am? 




I've never dated a chick like that and I don't intend on doing so in the future anyways. Believe that. Thats why I can call you out on your "dating" experiences. 


Ya'll need to raise your standards. I have no problem treating a girl...but thats AFTER solidifying why shes sticking around. 




You conclusion that THINGS make her happy is the problem. I've dated girls that straight up didn't care about all the accoutrements of life. They certainly appreciated them, but they weren't tripping worth a damn over it. Believe me. You're acting like those women don't exist...i'm here to tell you that they DO.







Because they don't mean anything? 




Its funny how ya'll act when ya'll never take the time to validate WHAT traditions actually are. They're pointless rituals that you've added meaning to but are too lazy to actually question.




 Its not my fault you have no problem falling in line with the way others tell you how to live.




I understand why I should tell my kids to wash their hands. I don't understand why I should tell my little girl to ask for a diamond ring and an elaborate wedding. 

Originally Posted by ksteezy

Originally Posted by scshift

Originally Posted by ksteezy

I'm very happy, married my best friend, building on a future together, the ring is a small price to pay in order to put a smile on her face, for those who view it as just a materialistic thing....here is what a lot of dudes fail to see, specially those who's relationship has not reached that selfless level, the engagement ring is not about us guys, it's about her...it's what a lot of women have been programmed to since birth, you expect to come by and re-program what has been drilled into her since a little girl?...c'mon bros...you really gonna deprive the love of your life of it simply because of your own selfish ideals?...what's a couple a grand?...majority of us have blown far more on sneaker collections, jewelry, cars, all which are really meaningless materialistic things, the hipocrisy of some of you to judge....c'mon man

Ksteezy, I respect you and I like your posts so understand this is nothing against you personally. And don't shoot this down without reading it cause of my age. Read this post like you found it written on a piece of paper on the bus.

A lot of men have been programmed to have the idea that it is respectable and commendable to sleep with a lot of beautiful women. Yet, whenever I see this idea brought up, you denounce it as an immature and pathetic mindset. A lot of women are programmed to believe that they need to be light-skinned, slim and have straight hair in order to be beautiful and worthy in society. A lot of men are programmed to believe they must be muscular, drive a fast car and be strong in order to be a "real man". I'm sure you disagree with these societal programmings as well.

Just because something is programmed into your head doesn't make it a good idea. 

"You really gonna deprive the love of your life of it simply because of your own selfish ideals?" - How is it selfish? No one is saying they want to take the money they would have spent on the ring and spend it on some Jordans. They said they would have spent it on something like a house, or a car. How is that selfish? You're simply buying something else that both of you can use and will provide much more than a ring. 

"What's a couple a grand?" - Ask the couples who are struggling to pay their mortgages.

I know I might not have much experience in real life. But I know for a fact it isn't like a fairy tale where the man buys the wife a $100,000 ring and a $2,000,000 wedding and they live happily ever after. There are people occupying Wall Street right now desperate for jobs. There are people having homes foreclosed cause they can't keep up the payments. It's easy to imagine life it you are a millionaire. I'm sure every single person in this thread would buy their wives something expensive the woman liked if they had Bill Gates money. But none of us do. Compromises have to be made in order to benefit BOTH sides. It's not being selfish if you're trying to make a better life for your significant other.

Don't discredit my opinion, just read it and think nothing of me.

That's the thing bro, make DC or Silly millionaires and they will still oppose the idea, tradition, its Ben their MO whenever this topic is brought up, to them is not about the money or how much the ring costs, it's the idea of it that they can't seem to comprehend or open up to, not even for themselves, but enough to respect that other men will hold off on buying those new kicks or that new TV and save up for a year in order to buy that ring, because they know it will make her happy and because they want to commit and take their relationship one step further, there are girls out there that are fine with being the GF or baby momma, who don't want to get married, who don't care for a ring, but I seriously wonder if these dudes will stand their ground and tater walk away from the woman they love because she just feels different and does want to get married and does want a ring, even of its a 300$ ring, THEY WANT IT....what then? We've all been programmed to believe in different things, that's what a personality is IMO....we all have different beliefs, different approaches to situations, we all have a different meaning for what happiness is.

Ah yes....I can't bring myself to understand WHY we do this in the first place...but in your eyes, we shouldn't question anything.




Society says buy a ring, lets do it!




Society says get married...lets do it!




Seriously, sad. 




This sort of reluctance to validate the things we do in society and question our origin and learn about better ways to do things is the problem.




You ADMIT you've been programmed into this...but you have NO problem even thinking about it... disgusting.










That makes sense though, you didn't understand Occupy Wallstreet either. 




Just keep doing what everyone else tells you. I know you'll be first in line when the draft gets reinstituted too, loudly reciting the pledge of allegiance, and upholding every other thing society tells you to do. 




Thats why you need a girl who has her mind right. 




But ya'll don't even have ya'lls minds right yourselves. 

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by scshift

I'm sure DC and Silly would have no problems getting their girls rings. Alright, maybe the rings costed about as much as a sushi dinner. But they still got them rings right? The issue is spending a large sum of money on something with minimal use. That's illogical and wasteful, especially if the couple isn't financially secure.

Damn Monta, am I THAT bad man.

@KSteezy, it is more so the principle that I am against. An object that somehow determines how much I love another human. And the fact that people buy into it and the fact that the Diamond Boys have convinced millions of women that if a man really loves you, he will do whatever it takes to make you happy via a nice ring/big wedding. I mean I hear you when you say that you should get what you afford, but come on we all know that MOST women want the "best." They want something that shines and sparkles and something they can be asked questions about. Only a rare creature won't care about how the ring looks. Even the most low-maintenance woman would want something nice on her finger.

Me knowing that the motive behind a ring is to stunt, deny it if you want, makes me not want to be part of the process. It is going to PAIN me to have to buy a ring and I don't care how much it costs. I am a low-maintenance dude that is against all forms of stunting/bragging etc, so that is why I hate it so much. It is stunting that is accepted and promoted and ingrained in women's minds to desire.

 

[ksteezy]

It's all about tradition SC, why would you even bring up something as stupid as a diamond encrusted PS3....c'mon man.

And best of luck finding a girl who wouldn't care about the ring....really mean that.