NT...what's the dumbest thing you've heard someone say?

[teamjordan79]

headchog

 

[black2dafuture]

"make sure you wear your shoes when you drive so if you get in a car accident your feet wont get cut off"

 

[parada45]

"I'm a Cowboys Fan"

*Lived in DC their entire life*

 

[beh235]

Former Co-worker (Dude): "Why should I be the princess when I could be the Queen?"

 

[Junok]

*Friend calls my home phone*
Friend: "Hey, are you home?"

I've done this a couple of times during middle school...

 

[jordanscrub]

Thought of a new one... in highschool a chick in my spanish class said: "Mexicans are dirty because they can't afford water."

Teacher LOST it

 

[freshlikedasani91]

"I only like the lakers because Allen Iverson used to play for them"

 

[janitor]

I'm DYING reading these!! My contribution:

Dumb white girl (looking at the sign on a Korean restaurant): "Is that writing Chinese?"
Me: "No, it's Korean."
DWG: "Why don't they just combine all the languages together and make them the same? So confusing..."
Me:

i heard a girl sing the lyrics to "Big Pimpin" once... she sang "Big Pimpin spread the cheese"

Yoooo!! I had a friend who was terrible when it came to mishearing lyrics, and he seriously thought Big Pimpin' were those EXACT SAME LYRICS! Other lines he misheard:

Bloodhound Gang's The Bad Touch: "You and me baby ain't nothing but amosolets, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel..."
What's an amosolet?

LL Cool J's Doin' It: instead of "Doin it and doin it and doin it well" he heard "Antonio, Antonio, Antonio Brown."
???

 

[sorkoram]

 

[the hater boxden]

"make sure you wear your shoes when you drive so if you get in a car accident your feet wont get cut off"

 

[41239]

At the barbershop:
Guy in chair: let me get a ceasar
Barber: sure thing
*Goes over head with clippers*
Barber: Like that?
Guy in chair: hmmmm....nah DARKER

LMAO TOO LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTE

My girl: "Hey bay. . . . "
Me: "Hi"
My girl: "Are you asleep?"
i dont respond anytime she asks me that

My girl: "Want some head"
Me: "Yes i would appreciate that"
My girl: "Oh i forgot i got my wisdom teeth pulled saturday"
i stop talkin/textin/whatever for a minute for playin wit my emotions

 

[coldcity]

when my roommate was in the shower with her bf and me and my other roommate overheard her say "do it harder"

me: 
roommate: "maybe he was scratching her back?"
me: 

SON

 

[toughmoney]

Not the dumbest thing i've heard, but it's up there....
21yr old female- "I don't like black guys, but Chris Brown is the only black I would be with. That's my husband"

 

[doitallpaul]

my boy had a cramp or charlie horse but kept telling everyone he got "donkey punched"

i was LOL.

 

[shorty doo wop]

I remember seeing these on twitter

Tell peter my mink dragging on the floor

This kevin durant dude nice but they need to put KD in the game

 

[doitallpaul]

another friend thought the lyrics in the song 'we taking over' was "we taking over up in SEATTLE TOWN"

I was ready to give him the back hand to the face but I was to weak from laughing.

 

[iamdavidrice]

Mine as well

 

[coldcity]

"I'm a sneaker collector/sneakerhead" How many pairs do you have? "Five"

i always respond with the blankest stoneface possible

I would like to add:

I'm not racist because I have a black friend

Customer: "Hey can I get a few slices of green lemon with my diet coke?"
Me:"You mean a lime??"
Customer: "No...its green but smaller and it looks like a lemon"
Me: Proceed to give her a few slices of lime.
Customer: "Thats what I was talking about!!"

the ignorance

My homey:When I grow up imma get me a nice condo like one of these
His brother: Bruh your 23 years old

lmao.. he's still young doe :\

had my own crib at 22

 

[coldcity]

I remember dudes tweeting Nikestore asking when the Questions would be released

I remember

my friend said society is trying to keep spanish people dumb by having a spanish option on ATMs... he was trying to say that it prevents them from learning english by giving them that option

THIS WINS

 

[kdawg]

"I wish I could see in 3D!"

But not everyone can see in 3D...

 

[trilluminated]

this here,

http://niketalk.com/t/500953/nt-what-are-the-chances-of-a-teacher-marking-your-with-with-bias

 

[janitor]

At work one time, it was winter so people were treading in snow near the door. By the end of the day a little puddle had accumulated. Co-worker:

"Man, that water's really wet!"

 

[toughmoney]

I was watching Uptown Comic on Bounce channel and some comedian said....

My boy like to brag a lot and said he getting his house built from the ground up, so you know i'm like.... how everybody else get their house built then?

 

[lyonbc1]

Girl in my class a year ago...."the only thing I wish was that my ipod (it was a touch) could make calls, then it'd be perfect!"

I had to step out of class for a minute and pretend it was getting water at the fountain

 

[luong1209]

Wrote this in the old thread -

"Why they got flavored condoms for? Vaginas can't taste nothing"