So my Ex decides to text me out of the blue after not hearing from her in almost a year. *CLOSURE*

I actually wanted to comeback in this thread and post something i've been thinking about alot lately.

We assume wayyyy too much and know too little.

I, like others in this thread are telling OP to just leave his ex in the dust because she wronged him. Popular belief is that once a cheater always a cheater, and that if she's done you wrong once, she'll do you wrong again.

While I believe there def. are people in this world that are multiple offenders and take advantage of people that care about them...we generalize this sentiment to everyone. This is a male dominated board and a majority of us have been wronged by females in the past and will in the future. There's no denying this.

BUT...I think we assume that every female that has wronged us is disqualified from redemption. We assume that people won't change their ways and will always be the scumbags that they were when they wronged us.

It's a hard notion to deal with because deep down inside we all put up these strong barriers to reinforce our notions that those who have done us wrong will continue to do us wrong if we give them the chance. It's an emotional defense mechanism.

All we have left if we take away the advice given to us, the memory of the past wrong's, the forsight of wrongs to come in the future....is instinct.

OP go with your instinct. Take a day off from the advice given and figure this thing out for yourself. Your damned if you do and damned if you don't so you might as well do whatever you feel is right.

Peace.
 
I actually wanted to comeback in this thread and post something i've been thinking about alot lately.

We assume wayyyy too much and know too little.

I, like others in this thread are telling OP to just leave his ex in the dust because she wronged him. Popular belief is that once a cheater always a cheater, and that if she's done you wrong once, she'll do you wrong again.

While I believe there def. are people in this world that are multiple offenders and take advantage of people that care about them...we generalize this sentiment to everyone. This is a male dominated board and a majority of us have been wronged by females in the past and will in the future. There's no denying this.

BUT...I think we assume that every female that has wronged us is disqualified from redemption. We assume that people won't change their ways and will always be the scumbags that they were when they wronged us.

It's a hard notion to deal with because deep down inside we all put up these strong barriers to reinforce our notions that those who have done us wrong will continue to do us wrong if we give them the chance. It's an emotional defense mechanism.

All we have left if we take away the advice given to us, the memory of the past wrong's, the forsight of wrongs to come in the future....is instinct.

OP go with your instinct. Take a day off from the advice given and figure this thing out for yourself. Your damned if you do and damned if you don't so you might as well do whatever you feel is right.

Peace.
 
Originally Posted by ZeroGravity23

Originally Posted by Classy Freshman

I say meet up with her.

When you meet, make sure it is fresh in your mind that this is the woman that you were good to, that you gave your all to, but that simply wasn't good enough for her. You have to put an emotional barrier up.

When you meet make sure you look good, and you look to her like you are genuinely happy. Don't act like you have a grudge against her for what she did, but rather act like she did you a favor. She will HATE to see that your life has gotten better without her. Take her to lunch... even pay.

Now more then likely throughout this past year she has been played and smutted out by other men, and she finally realizes that the grass isn't greener on the other side... and she wants you back. Don't give in... Not on the first meetup anyway. You have to remember this woman is the source of your heartbreak(I can tell you are hurt op) so you can't just let her come back into your life whenever she wants. Be nice to her, but respectfully decline any proposition she offers... even if you want her.

Now if after this meeting she is consistent and genuine and she really seems like she wants you back, I would say let her back in VERY slooooowly. People do make mistakes, so maybe she realized it and can make up for it. But don't just give yourself all back at once, and run the risk of getting your heart broken again.
Click to expand...
repped.
Click to expand...
That's great advice. I'm curious to know what she wants to get off her chest, if shes the outgoing, party type and you're a reserved, and chill dude, her letting you know she cheated on you is a possibility. Then again what do I know? She probably wouldn't want to tell you that in person. 
But yea, listen to Classy.
 
Originally Posted by ZeroGravity23

Originally Posted by Classy Freshman

I say meet up with her.

When you meet, make sure it is fresh in your mind that this is the woman that you were good to, that you gave your all to, but that simply wasn't good enough for her. You have to put an emotional barrier up.

When you meet make sure you look good, and you look to her like you are genuinely happy. Don't act like you have a grudge against her for what she did, but rather act like she did you a favor. She will HATE to see that your life has gotten better without her. Take her to lunch... even pay.

Now more then likely throughout this past year she has been played and smutted out by other men, and she finally realizes that the grass isn't greener on the other side... and she wants you back. Don't give in... Not on the first meetup anyway. You have to remember this woman is the source of your heartbreak(I can tell you are hurt op) so you can't just let her come back into your life whenever she wants. Be nice to her, but respectfully decline any proposition she offers... even if you want her.

Now if after this meeting she is consistent and genuine and she really seems like she wants you back, I would say let her back in VERY slooooowly. People do make mistakes, so maybe she realized it and can make up for it. But don't just give yourself all back at once, and run the risk of getting your heart broken again.
Click to expand...
repped.
Click to expand...
That's great advice. I'm curious to know what she wants to get off her chest, if shes the outgoing, party type and you're a reserved, and chill dude, her letting you know she cheated on you is a possibility. Then again what do I know? She probably wouldn't want to tell you that in person. 
But yea, listen to Classy.
 
honestly, if I was you, O.P, I would just go ahead and meet up with her. But stay on your guard. 
 
honestly, if I was you, O.P, I would just go ahead and meet up with her. But stay on your guard. 
 
Posting for update
laugh.gif
 
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