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Originally Posted by LDJ
Originally Posted by ksteezy
Originally Posted by Mrsouthernhospitality
at not being mature enough?
Im 25 going on 26 in October
and my girl is the same age I dont know how could I make it any clearer
that we both made this decision and came into an agreement
im not the only man that feels like that and shes not the only women that feels
that way
the crazy part about your argument is that you think there are not
any sensible,mature and responsible adults that view it the same way as me
you cant even show me a poll that says 100% of people man or women say that marriage is necessary
any good marriage ======= any good bf/gf relationship
only difference is a ring and it helps on your taxes
to me the American court system benefits of you marriage more then you do
Im also going to keep saying my relationship >>>>>>>>>>>>>any marriage
its plenty of married couples that dont know $#!@ about each other
im pretty sure there are tons of 4#!@%% marriages right now
weather married or not you deal with the same core issues
@ not being mature enough like everybody wants to take the same route as you
Dude THE only difference is NOT the ring, that's your problem and that alone shows your and your girls maturity level if ya can't see passed that and all the legalities of it, it's a bond, a blessing, "till death do us part" does that not mean anything to you....when I stopped thinking about all the legalities of it and the vanity that came with what ring my wife would like I started seeing things different...you donot understand that prior to my marriage I felt alot like you, why do you think it took me 10 years to marry her?...but the second I said the words "I do" and she repeated them to me in front of a priest, something change in me and in our relationship, call me crazy but that bond we had built over 10 years is alot stronger now than it was before our marriage....THAT my friend is something you won't understand till you yourself get married....and the fact that you try to null my argument being that I've been on both sides of the spectrum is why I said you still need to grow up....you calling marriage a "status, title, a ring" that's all immaturity and inexperience speaking.
I think what he is trying to say is that ppl say that the ring/ceremony/contract=what marriage is all about and it doesnt. All those things are social symbolisms to prove to others what you vowed with marriage to be true. And i can only speak for myself in saying that isnt true. And it was the time the ten years that made you guys bond love strong, the ring etc had nothing to do with it. Its just you have concieved your mind to believe that it did. And the whole death do us part in todays sociey is a joke. If you/your significant other lied/cheated/decieved etc to one another 99% of you guys and society would be headed to divorce court. And last time i checked if you cheated/lied/etc you dont just up and die. So that would mean that it isnt till death. And before you say i would never/they would never do that. that isnt the point the point is you vowed that under no circumstances other then demise would you ever be apart/seperate be less committed, lose love etc. And we all no that this isnt true. And a piece of paper/ring/ceremony doesnt make it true.
Marriage is meant to be more than social acceptance, approval,validity in others, prove show to others the bond between ppl. But a wedding is social, the pact is validity, and the ring is proof/showing to others. Which indirectly contridicts what was said in the vows.
If you truly love care for someone and are committed to them a contract/ring/wedding doesnt prove anything. It just shows others, displays to others the fact that you said it stated it. It doesnt show prove anything its time in, the actions, the things you do moving foward that show prove those things.
Its like i said before, i could sign my kids birth certificate, throw a big party, handout cigars and announce im about to be a daddy. How does that show prove that i will have an active role and a commitment in my kids life? This happens all the time albiet a majority of you guys this has happen to (single mother guys) So do you guys feel you who are products of no fathers being around, feel like your pops made a commitment and had a undying love for you and was there for you just cause he celebrated your birth, signed a piece of paper acknowledging him as your pops?
If you all about the social aspect, materialistic, acceptance aspect about it cool more power to you. But if you think the end to be all is ok im committed its forever cause i signed a paper, wear a ring, had a celebration therefore=marriage and lifelong bond and forever. Better save up your duckets cause you gonna need em for that divorce attorney and those years of child support and/or alimony. All that stuff is irreevant its the time and the actions and doings that will determine your marriage bond family structure, not some dusty pictures on the mantle, or a ring, or a video or a celebration.
Thats is one of the reasons ppl fail at life, they think all these social norms, events, material, and validity makes things poof happen. That along with many many many other aspects, but this one is a main one. No wedding/justice of peace/wedding/huge extravaganza< true feelings emotions,bonds and actions and acting out proving your love. All else is irrelevant and only holds the value the individuals involved place on it ie the ring/ceremony etc.
Just like i said with school. The walk across the stage is just that, a way to show others, and seek validity, and social acceptance from others. It was the commitment to studying passing making of good grades that achieved the goal of graduation. Not a party, not a acceptance of admittance, not the signing of the student loans. All that does is shows others, give a validation, to others im going to school i was accepted.
I think that's the problem ^^^bro, you are stuck being a rebel, trying to go so hard against what you believe society is pushing you to do, like I stated before, to me marriage is a bond/promise I made in front of God to my WIFE, before it's a a phony party with weding favors and some fancy rings, I could have done it just us two with noone else around with some pop-tart rings and as long as we had God's blessing it would mean the same thing....open up your mind.