What has happened to black families vol 72% illegitimacy rate

[redman]

Originally Posted by gllahone84

Fear of what?

For the most part black men understand black women. When I say understand I mean weaves, hair wraps, Vaseline, lotion, braids, can't get their hair wet etc.

Usually men from other races are not exposed to any of what I've listed and to be frank are scared of dealing with what I listed.

It also seems to be taboo for non-black men to date black women.

I don't want to say it put its like when you go out with a black female you have lost.

 

[b town legend]

Scientific Method I see why people call you a Tom. Not saying you are one but your verbage and outlook when talking about your own people makes it an easy association to make.

 

[voidemperor]

Originally Posted by Slicknick951

Originally Posted by Brolic Scholar

Q: What has happened to black families?

A: Ignorance and low self-esteem. No pride, no knowledge of self, no history and a media created "culture" that feeds the cycle of self-destructive behavior. I can't tell you the last time I allowed myself to be a part of the foolishness that portrays black America on TV. BET, TBS, etc. You show people they are inferior long enough and eventually they'll believe it. Add to that the music that dummies think is real life and

Black folks are much more connected to their music than most cultures and look at what we listen to. The music we listen to has other races calling themselves the n word like it's a good thing. Sad.

I don't think it has anything to do with being black because everyone listens to "our music" there are just as many whites, Spanish, etc as there are blacks at concerts. The problem is that our trash is all over because we don't know how to act this goes back to not having stable homes. 

spanish folk from spain? I've seen a few, but barely any out here. Depends where you live actually. I hope you didn't reference Latinos/Hispanics withat the Spanish label.

 

[wade187]

I'm not even gonna bother reading through this thread, but imma say this everyones right. I know there's gonna be those saying "we are our own worst enemies" and others are gonna be blaming it on the system. It goes both ways, hands down those caught up in that cycle are their own worst enemies. But like i said they in that cycle. You can sit there and say oh yeah you blaming the white man, and making excuses but at the same time you can't honestly tell them there wrong. Yeah you can suck it up and just work your way out of that cycle. But some of you underestimate the difficulty of that. When you brought up a certain way, your parents or parent are lost themselves, and you've been taught nothing but self destruction do you realize how hard it is to reprogram everything you've learned growing up and realize that all these wrong ways which have been the norm aren't normal? Blaming the system isn't gonna get you anywhere, that's a fact. But it takes a lot of strength to know these inequalities are there and realize that you in a society that placed you in this position and just overlook it. That's a strength a lot of people don't have, a strength they were never taught to have. Some see that glimpse of hope elsewhere or even find that one person that will teach them and appeal to them and guide them in the right direction. Others will just settle and find happiness in what they know, what they have been accustomed to through out their life. 

 

[wade187]

Originally Posted by cartune

DC the same system gave us The Cosby Show (which a large sum of black people rejected because it wasnt "realistic"

)

The same system put a black familly in the White House

The same system made the highest paid person in HOLLYWOOD a black man

What exactly is the system's objective? Is it not rational to assume that the system isnt as powerful as you think and individuals are just making dumb decisions?

If you dont have a stable home the race will fail period. No matter the hardships of the past the family must remain stable to recover.

The Jewish community figured it out

The Irish community figured it out

The Italian community figured it out

The Asian community figured it out

They all could have blamed "the system" one way or the other.

When was the cosby show released? Why did these black community's deem it unrealistic? Was it because it simply wasn't most of their reality? Because your example of normalcy wasn't what they consider normal, due to the fact that it was beyond to late for them to recognize something other than they cycle they've been living in. Obama was elected in 2008, yet the black man has been in this country how long? Yet that in what your saying makes up for what's already been drilled into the brains of the masses. Your talking if you don't have a stable home the race will fail yet you don't realize the problem with black americans is they don't know what they aren't taught. Unlike the Italian, Irish, Jewish, and Asian communitys they were brought here and stripped of their self worth, and broken down to literally have nothing but this language they were given, and what the white man would give them. None of these statistics are referring to the familys who came to this country on their own bringing their own culture and their own sights and understandings of things with them. They come with the same ethic as any other people coming from another country. All these other folks had their elders to teach them what they brought with them, and they were given that chance to pass that on. Black folks only have what they go out of their way to discover. Even the school systems picks and chooses what it will allow you to learn about yourself, and your past, and they don't even give you complete truth. You are the one that seems to underestimate the power of the system and the power of what it has already instilled in the brains of most. You seem to think individual decisions are gonna differ what society has already placed within you. "It takes a village to raise a child" and your village has mislead you your whole life.

 

[brotherforreal]

The "system" is everyone's scapegoat, white to black. The system is to blame. Slavery is to blame. Holocaust is to blame. Early English to blame for the extinction of Mexican Indians. Blame is nothing more than a game. But, how do you come to a clear victor when the game is perpetuated by more blame?

mytmouse...I agree that it's a fear. Change is a good thing, or so we're taught but the reality is we hold others opinions before our own wants/needs. I was blessed to have a mom who accepted that her Mexican son would end up with a black girl. My whole family really. As long as she treats me right, my family sees no color.

Black women in general are angry. Their anger comes from the mainstream view of black men being with women outside their race. Kanye made it famous. Most "ballers" aren't with black women and instead of moving on they want to hold a grudge against an entire race of men. For what? Men are for the taking. We're all minorities, just different skin complexions. Be with what makes YOU happy. If you like asians, date an asian, etc.

The problem is IMO, parenting. Kids are parents now a days. You have 33 year olds with 17-18 years old which means they weren't in a situation to which marriage was an option. Hell, they were in a situation where they opened their legs to "love" and the dude was ghost so until we view every possible scenario as to why the statistic is the "norm" we can't just lay blame.

 

[scientific method]

Originally Posted by B Town Legend

Scientific Method I see why people call you a Tom. Not saying you are one but your verbage and outlook when talking about your own people makes it an easy association to make.

I know. I should've just said, "da white man! da white man! he won't let me make it!" and lashed out at anyone who dare mentioned self responsibility, education, or any of the countless blacks who have overcome this alleged system. It's not like previous generations literally died for us to have the opportunities we're squandering now.

The "system" is everyone's scapegoat, white to black. The system is to blame. Slavery is to blame. Holocaust is to blame. Early English to blame for the extinction of Mexican Indians. Blame is nothing more than a game. But, how do you come to a clear victor when the game is perpetuated by more blame?

You hardly hear Jews complaining though. They weren't from having an attempted genocide against them, being put in ovens, and executed then dumped in mass graves at concentration camps to now controlling a disproportionate amount of the world's wealth.

When do we do that? When do we say !#+# it, it happened, that's the past and look to making a better future for ourselves? If "the white man" is really trying so hard to hold us back, how about sticking it to "him" by succeeding anyways? There's countless examples out there of black individuals who felt there was some inequity and rather than complain about it, worked hard and educated themselves allowing them to put themselves in position now to be in those meetings whether it's be a judge, politician, business owner, or what have you. Hell, that was Uncle Phil's motivation for becoming a judge on Fresh Prince. It seems an infinitely more productive approach than dropping out, falling into a life of crime, and becoming another statistic which is allegedly what "they" want anyways, right?

 

[nawlinsjunkie]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by gllahone84

Fear of what?

something different...what your friends/family will say

that men of another race would even find you attractive enough to date

It's funny that you bring fear up because many non black dudes (me included) won't even approach black girls for the same reasons. Many black girls I've found attractive wouldn't even consider dating a non black dude, and on the rare occasion that they do, their friends/family make it a huge headache. My prom date in high school was black and her black female friends mean mugged me/snapped at me/ignored me for the entire night 

 So damn awkward, cause I had to go in the limo with all of them, sit with all of them for the prom dinner, etc. Black dudes on the other hand didn't care cause they all had white girls as dates 

 More recently...My friend is an Alpha and he invited me to over one of his frat's club events. This one girl was dancing with EVERYONE, including 300 pound dudes, dudes that were no taller than 5'4, etc. She danced with me for 20 seconds and said "Where all the black folk at??" and dipped 

 Point is, alot of us DO like black girls, but too many of them turn us away just because of our race.

 

[brotherforreal]

^^^You just gotta let them know you're interested. When I talk to them I make sure to hit them with the "black dudes don't date black girls no more." They step back and think, laugh they !%! off and bam, you're in. It's funny cause I get NO PLAY, I MEAN NOT A LOOK from mexican girls. I'm attracted and attract black girls.

 

[cjdynasty]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

damn now we have to be celibate?

definitely time for black women to start looking outside the race if they feel there aren't any decent black men...

i honestly have no idea why we are so loyal to black men...think its mostly out of fear

Unfortunately, black women are getting the raw end of the deal.  I've had the opportunity to befriend 9 professional black women while I was in lawschool.  1 came in married, 1 found love while in law school (a fellow student).  The others all were in the same boat, which was looking for a man.  I would here them talk about and complain at nausea about how they couldnt find a man or how the men they could find wasnt on there level.  All of them, but one where NOT willing to date outside of the race.

My point is this, I definitely understand the numbers game.  I get that because of the overwhelming number of black men incarcerated and increase of homosexuality, it puts a disproportional number of educated black women to educated hetero black men.  With that being said, I still felt like there biggest problems where there standards where entirely TOO HIGH!    These women's idea of what there man should be was ridiculous.  I mean you should have heard there list.  6'5 200lbs, sculptured body like the gods, making 160K+ as an attorney, driving a S Class, never been married, no kids, no overbearing mother, saves the whales on the wknd (lol you get the drift).  Upon hearing this I was like damn!  Nobody can live up to this right out the gate (well unless you are on NT

).

I dont know what value this adds to the conversation, but I just wanted to shed light on my personal experience with my friends.  BTW, this was 4 years ago when I met them, and they are all still in that same boat

... and still havent compromised on that list yet.  Im not saying that you have to lower you standards, but there is a certain level of maturity that tells you that you cant have EVERY quality on your list.  Its like life, sometimes you have to take some to get some.

 

[Jordan8]

You guys keep ignoring the fact the black family was a strong foundation up into only a couple of decades ago

Why are you using something that happened centuries ago as an excuse when the previous generations didnt?

 

[Jordan8]

Originally Posted by DAYTONA 5000

Originally Posted by cartune

Originally Posted by Mr Marcus

 No its not.

Yes we lost some of our African culture but White America dont act like Eurpoeans either. Becky cant trace her ancestor's culture from England either. 

Are you serious? If Becky's last name is O'Reilly, Moretti, or Ivanov she can easily go back and research the history, cultural traditions, and customs of her ancestors that came from either Ireland, Italy, or Russia.

Are you really telling me that Demarcus Johnson can go and do the same thing?

White Americans care less about tracing there family back to the "old country" as black people pretend to and although it might be twice as hard the resources are out there for african americans to trace their ancestry. I did years ago. 
Fact is over 5 centuries of my ancestors come from America. Lets move forward

 

[wade187]

Originally Posted by cartune

You guys keep ignoring the fact the black family was a strong foundation up into only a couple of decades ago

Why are you using something that happened centuries ago as an excuse when the previous generations didnt?

Like when crack came out of "nowhere" it didn't affect that. I mean I'm only a couple of decades old. So maybe it was only my generation that wasn't given equal opportunities and were somewhat set up to failure. I know what I see around me, I'll admit I'm not a historian, so maybe you or one of the other fellows on here can enlighten me on when the "system" was generated towards equality or given folks a chance

 

[pip777]

Originally Posted by CJDynasty

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

damn now we have to be celibate?



definitely time for black women to start looking outside the race if they feel there aren't any decent black men...



i honestly have no idea why we are so loyal to black men...think its mostly out of fear

Unfortunately, black women are getting the raw end of the deal.  I've had the opportunity to befriend 9 professional black women while I was in lawschool.  1 came in married, 1 found love while in law school (a fellow student).  The others all were in the same boat, which was looking for a man.  I would here them talk about and complain at nausea about how they couldnt find a man or how the men they could find wasnt on there level.  All of them, but one where NOT willing to date outside of the race.

My point is this, I definitely understand the numbers game.  I get that because of the overwhelming number of black men incarcerated and increase of homosexuality, it puts a disproportional number of educated black women to educated hetero black men.  With that being said, I still felt like there biggest problems where there standards where entirely TOO HIGH!    These women's idea of what there man should be was ridiculous.  I mean you should have heard there list.  6'5 200lbs, sculptured body like the gods, making 160K+ as an attorney, driving a S Class, never been married, no kids, no overbearing mother, saves the whales on the wknd (lol you get the drift).  Upon hearing this I was like damn!  Nobody can live up to this right out the gate (well unless you are on NT

).

I dont know what value this adds to the conversation, but I just wanted to shed light on my personal experience with my friends.  BTW, this was 4 years ago when I met them, and they are all still in that same boat

... and still havent compromised on that list yet.  Im not saying that you have to lower you standards, but there is a certain level of maturity that tells you that you cant have EVERY quality on your list.  Its like life, sometimes you have to take some to get some.

Great point bro.

 

[blackmagnus514]

Originally Posted by 3900stabler

As a black man, I want to first say I love black people. I love "us" enough to tell the truth. The bottom line is most of black america's problems can be  to irresponsible decision making on behalf of black women more specifically those in their mid teens to late 20's. Black women are the only segment of the u.s. population that is void of criticism. If a black man disagrees or is critical of issue regarding black women he "hates his race" or is sellout. If a white man does it, he is a bigot. Black women have simply stigmatized anyone who doesn't co-sign all of the silly behavior they get involved with. This doesn't apply to all black women, but if the shoe fits, wear it.

The issue to me is responsibility. Let's not be naive and think that just because blacks getting married that it will somehow "heal the hood". I doubt very seriously that there is correlation between marital status and parental attentiveness. In short, black women need to stop having kids with unproductive black men that are out here living a destructive lifestyle. Having a baby by a dope boy is not hot and it's not cute. Pursue education and if you decide to have sex, be responsible and protect yourself. Black women, before you sex with a man, ask yourself this question "Would I want him to be the father of my child? If you have think about that answer, you already know the answer.

I agree with this.

 

[blackmagnus514]

Understand also that when welfare started booming, one of the stipulalations was that The government will give benefits As long as there is no male partner formthe female in the household. Then you factor in the negative effects of the crack era, it's about two generations lost...lot only that but also the Vietnam vets who came back home messed up off drugs.

I feel like this topic is rehashed too often. We all know the statistics ad all that. No ones telling black women not to date outside the race if they can't find a man of their own they don't find suitable. Black men date outside the race all the time. They're women at the end of the day. Laws cater to them, pop culture is often geared towards them and products are marketed towards them.

People act like personal responsibility doesnt come into play. There's a choice for everything in life. Black people have to stop passing the buck and I personally feel like the black church is one of the biggest enablers of passivity there is. Even when it comes down to dating and marriage, it's forgive and give a person chances even if they're this big abusive prick. Then you got the zealots who will pray so hard they forget to put actin behind those prayers.

Black men I know and talk with don't relate well to Tyler Perry because he's a %$**. Why does he has to dress like a woman to get his point across...when even in the Bible that his audience loves and reads, it says that dressing like a woman if you're a man is abominable? Even as far as going to church in my experience, black men don't go to church like that.the preachers are basically selling these women a dream and they give him their money. No different from pimping basically. Men aren't good with being up under a man who is trying to sell them stuff, pec illy when they know they can find out stuff for themselves. It's gonna sound weird, but I personally think women have desire to be led and this is why churches are full of women. Then you add that pop culture is softer than its ever been. There's like nothing on TV for men besides Sports, Spike, and like a handful of other stuff.

It's a lotta stuff but we as a people won't advance if we don't take our own selves and do us.

 

[0cks]

nawlinsjunkie BrotherForReal

I would have just assumed ya'll were black

Biggest problem is the fast life everyone is trying to live up to... it's not sustainable or real... tryna +%+$ every girl in the world and smoking like a chimmney then getting you're whole body tatted up just screams 'I DON'T RESPECT MYSELF!" All this excess is just not good...

 

[me no pass]

Originally Posted by pip777

Originally Posted by CJDynasty

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

damn now we have to be celibate?



definitely time for black women to start looking outside the race if they feel there aren't any decent black men...



i honestly have no idea why we are so loyal to black men...think its mostly out of fear

Unfortunately, black women are getting the raw end of the deal.  I've had the opportunity to befriend 9 professional black women while I was in lawschool.  1 came in married, 1 found love while in law school (a fellow student).  The others all were in the same boat, which was looking for a man.  I would here them talk about and complain at nausea about how they couldnt find a man or how the men they could find wasnt on there level.  All of them, but one where NOT willing to date outside of the race.

My point is this, I definitely understand the numbers game.  I get that because of the overwhelming number of black men incarcerated and increase of homosexuality, it puts a disproportional number of educated black women to educated hetero black men.  With that being said, I still felt like there biggest problems where there standards where entirely TOO HIGH!    These women's idea of what there man should be was ridiculous.  I mean you should have heard there list.  6'5 200lbs, sculptured body like the gods, making 160K+ as an attorney, driving a S Class, never been married, no kids, no overbearing mother, saves the whales on the wknd (lol you get the drift).  Upon hearing this I was like damn!  Nobody can live up to this right out the gate (well unless you are on NT

).

I dont know what value this adds to the conversation, but I just wanted to shed light on my personal experience with my friends.  BTW, this was 4 years ago when I met them, and they are all still in that same boat

... and still havent compromised on that list yet.  Im not saying that you have to lower you standards, but there is a certain level of maturity that tells you that you cant have EVERY quality on your list.  Its like life, sometimes you have to take some to get some.

Great point bro.

you forgot to add street smarts, book smarts, thug on the weekends and former NBA player.

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

Understand also that when welfare started booming, one of the stipulalations was that The government will give benefits As long as there is no male partner formthe female in the household. Then you factor in the negative effects of the crack era, it's about two generations lost...lot only that but also the Vietnam vets who came back home messed up off drugs.

I feel like this topic is rehashed too often. We all know the statistics ad all that. No ones telling black women not to date outside the race if they can't find a man of their own they don't find suitable. Black men date outside the race all the time. They're women at the end of the day. Laws cater to them, pop culture is often geared towards them and products are marketed towards them.

People act like personal responsibility doesnt come into play. There's a choice for everything in life. Black people have to stop passing the buck and I personally feel like the black church is one of the biggest enablers of passivity there is. Even when it comes down to dating and marriage, it's forgive and give a person chances even if they're this big abusive prick. Then you got the zealots who will pray so hard they forget to put actin behind those prayers.

Black men I know and talk with don't relate well to Tyler Perry because he's a %$**. Why does he has to dress like a woman to get his point across...when even in the Bible that his audience loves and reads, it says that dressing like a woman if you're a man is abominable? Even as far as going to church in my experience, black men don't go to church like that.the preachers are basically selling these women a dream and they give him their money. No different from pimping basically. Men aren't good with being up under a man who is trying to sell them stuff, pec illy when they know they can find out stuff for themselves. It's gonna sound weird, but I personally think women have desire to be led and this is why churches are full of women. Then you add that pop culture is softer than its ever been. There's like nothing on TV for men besides Sports, Spike, and like a handful of other stuff.

It's a lotta stuff but we as a people won't advance if we don't take our own selves and do us.

not weird at all. women are constantly looking to be led due to their indecisive nature so they need a strong leader (man) to help them.


imo i think it all comes down to the family structure. "it takes a village to raise a child"

 

[foxdawg2000]

Originally Posted by Deuce King

So you never stated he was on the outside looking IN? let's reexamine our posts before we backtrack, edit and cower under scrutiny...

First off, he is on the outside looking in, that's a fact, doesn't mean he can't partake in the topic however.  Secondly, as a black man I stated 3 issues that pertain to this topic at hand.  That person tried to laugh off one of my points, he should have at least asked for my rationale behind that point instead of trying to speak on a matter that he even himself admitted that maybe he should not have been commenting on due to his race.  It would be no different than me entering a thread where the topic was about the illegitmacy rate within the white community and laughing off a white person's comment regarding the matter and then saying I'm not white.  How would I know or how can I determine what's truly affecting one's community if I'm truly not apart of it. 

definitely time for black women to start looking outside the race if they feel there aren't any decent black men...


Come on now, WE all know that's not happening.

i honestly have no idea why we are so loyal to black men...think its mostly out of fear


That's not it

.
So now we have to be a part of a certain community to comment on studies within other communities.. Right..
Haven't you been caught in here before making inaccurate statements about homosexuality? Are you uncomfortable bro?
Once again it's your isolated mindset that plagues the "black community"
Black women complain about being treated unfairly but proceed to limit themselves to dating people only people of their race...
Stop making piss poor excuses for black women.. Once again, nobody is forcing them to multiply with deadbeat males.. If black women can't keep it in their pants is it somebody else responsibility to make them? Seriously this convo is gettin foolish simply because you're afraid to place the blame on people that share a racial similarity to yourself?  When it comes down to it, you do have a choice on whether you take a risk of having a child with another individual...   Do I get mad when white people point this out? No.. truth is truth whether your sister, mother, auntie or best friend

will accept it or not... Homosexuality is not a main factor of why black communities are struggling, it's just another excuse for people like you to make for those same setbacks that keep those numbers high..

 

[swagger2much4you]

 

[brotherforreal]

Originally Posted by 0cks

nawlinsjunkie BrotherForReal

I would have just assumed ya'll were black

Biggest problem is the fast life everyone is trying to live up to... it's not sustainable or real... tryna +%+$ every girl in the world and smoking like a chimmney then getting you're whole body tatted up just screams 'I DON'T RESPECT MYSELF!" All this excess is just not good...

 my screen name is Charlie Murphys character on Martin. I do love black folk though. I grew up in the day of ese gang bangin era so my mom told me to play with the black kids across the street so I did what I was told. I've always been the token Mexican dude anywhere I went. I was the only Mexican in a an all black car club. I would throw dancehall parties with my friends and I was the only Mexican in a sea of belizean and caribbean folk. 

I just wasn't accepted by Mexicans. I went to CSULA, I was never asked to join any Frats or propositioned by any cause. I dont know if it was because I was chilling with the girls basketball team and some of my classmates who ran track but my people just don't like me

When my mom passed away a black woman took on the role when I was dealing with my loss and till this day I'm introduced as her son.

I agree with a lot of the points being made but disagree with laying blame on a "system". There's educated, un-ratchet, without child black women out there. You can't expect to find one clubbing or at the corner. 

 

[deuce king]

And Deuce King surprisingly neglected to add that black men graduate at LESS than 50%, so that also affects the options to black women since they are not highly rated amongst other races of men as options. That leaves them almost no choice but to marry/date down, in fact the success gap between black females and black males is the largest such gap in any racial group.
 
Very true of course, but as far as black males not graduating or not going to college that was covered in 2 of my points as a good percentage of young black males end up dead or in jail at and early age.  That just leaves the rest of us to carry on in their place. 

If "the white man" is really trying so hard to hold us back, how about sticking it to "him" by succeeding anyways? There's countless examples out there of black individuals who felt there was some inequity and rather than complain about it, worked hard and educated themselves allowing them to put themselves in position now to be in those meetings whether it's be a judge, politician, business owner, or what have you.
Excellent post.

My friend is an Alpha and he invited me to over one of his frat's club events
At least you were hanging around the right dudes champ.

Black dudes on the other hand didn't care cause they all had white girls as dates


 
That's cause we can do that. 

My point is this, I definitely understand the numbers game.  I get that because of the overwhelming number of black men incarcerated and increase of homosexuality, it puts a disproportional number of educated black women to educated hetero black men
  Exactly.  This is what I speaking on earlier.

BTW, this was 4 years ago when I met them, and they are all still in that same boat

... and still havent compromised on that list yet.
Those same chicks as well as many others are going to continue to be single and forever alone if they don't get in touch with reality. 

You guys keep ignoring the fact the black family was a strong foundation up into only a couple of decades ago

Why are you using something that happened centuries ago as an excuse when the previous generations didnt?

There it is.

but I personally think women have desire to be led and this is why churches are full of women
Women definitely want to be led that hasn't and won't change, that's why the "strong independent black women movement or slogan" is a joke and a myth.  It's just something alot of single black women say to make them feel better about their relationship situation. 

So now we have to be a part of a certain community to comment on studies within other communities.. Right..
Haven't you been caught in here before making inaccurate statements about homosexuality? Are you uncomfortable bro?
Once again it's your isolated mindset that plagues the "black community"


Dude, can you comprehend or understand anything??  Go back and re-read my previous post and then read it again before you try to assert your claim.  Just to provide another example for you, it would be no different than you creating a thread to vent or discuss a particular situation in your immediate family and you listing what those problems are than I or anyone else chiming in and trying to dispute any one of your claims or simply laughing it off.  Especially if I or anyone else wasn't a member of your immediate family.  How could we properly diagnose the problem if we're not a member of your immediate family, that's exactly what that individual did earlier.  He didn't ask a question or give a suggestion, he simply dismissed what I was saying, and he was dead wrong. 

 

[kilojules64]

The comments made about women as a whole in threads like this make me so happy to have ended up how I did.
I don't know if it was nurture (my mom is a black woman, immigrated here from Brazil, fell in love with who she wanted to and then was strong enough to leave him when he objected to her life goals) or nature but *&^% if I'm looking for a man to "lead me due to my indecisive nature". This isn't completely relevant since she isn't/I'm not African American, though, assuming that is the context of the thread.

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

Understand also that when welfare started booming, one of the stipulalations was that The government will give benefits As long as there is no male partner formthe female in the household. Then you factor in the negative effects of the crack era, it's about two generations lost...lot only that but also the Vietnam vets who came back home messed up off drugs.

I feel like this topic is rehashed too often. We all know the statistics ad all that. No ones telling black women not to date outside the race if they can't find a man of their own they don't find suitable. Black men date outside the race all the time. They're women at the end of the day. Laws cater to them, pop culture is often geared towards them and products are marketed towards them.

People act like personal responsibility doesnt come into play. There's a choice for everything in life. Black people have to stop passing the buck and I personally feel like the black church is one of the biggest enablers of passivity there is. Even when it comes down to dating and marriage, it's forgive and give a person chances even if they're this big abusive prick. Then you got the zealots who will pray so hard they forget to put actin behind those prayers.

Black men I know and talk with don't relate well to Tyler Perry because he's a %$**. Why does he has to dress like a woman to get his point across...when even in the Bible that his audience loves and reads, it says that dressing like a woman if you're a man is abominable? Even as far as going to church in my experience, black men don't go to church like that.the preachers are basically selling these women a dream and they give him their money. No different from pimping basically. Men aren't good with being up under a man who is trying to sell them stuff, pec illy when they know they can find out stuff for themselves. It's gonna sound weird, but I personally think women have desire to be led and this is why churches are full of women. Then you add that pop culture is softer than its ever been. There's like nothing on TV for men besides Sports, Spike, and like a handful of other stuff.

It's a lotta stuff but we as a people won't advance if we don't take our own selves and do us.

Bruh you might have nailed it.
But no...SillyPutty hates god... 

IM TRYING TO ADDRESS BIGGER ISSUES HERE. 




This aint about god this is about empowering people to embody the change they want to see.

 

[foxdawg2000]

Originally Posted by Deuce King

And Deuce King surprisingly neglected to add that black men graduate at LESS than 50%, so that also affects the options to black women since they are not highly rated amongst other races of men as options. That leaves them almost no choice but to marry/date down, in fact the success gap between black females and black males is the largest such gap in any racial group.

 
Very true of course, but as far as black males not graduating or not going to college that was covered in 2 of my points as a good percentage of young black males end up dead or in jail at and early age.  That just leaves the rest of us to carry on in their place. 

If "the white man" is really trying so hard to hold us back, how about sticking it to "him" by succeeding anyways? There's countless examples out there of black individuals who felt there was some inequity and rather than complain about it, worked hard and educated themselves allowing them to put themselves in position now to be in those meetings whether it's be a judge, politician, business owner, or what have you.
Excellent post.

My friend is an Alpha and he invited me to over one of his frat's club events
At least you were hanging around the right dudes champ.

Black dudes on the other hand didn't care cause they all had white girls as dates


 
That's cause we can do that. 

My point is this, I definitely understand the numbers game.  I get that because of the overwhelming number of black men incarcerated and increase of homosexuality, it puts a disproportional number of educated black women to educated hetero black men
  Exactly.  This is what I speaking on earlier.

BTW, this was 4 years ago when I met them, and they are all still in that same boat

... and still havent compromised on that list yet.
Those same chicks as well as many others are going to continue to be single and forever alone if they don't get in touch with reality. 

You guys keep ignoring the fact the black family was a strong foundation up into only a couple of decades ago

Why are you using something that happened centuries ago as an excuse when the previous generations didnt?

There it is.

but I personally think women have desire to be led and this is why churches are full of women
Women definitely want to be led that hasn't and won't change, that's why the "strong independent black women movement or slogan" is a joke and a myth.  It's just something alot of single black women say to make them feel better about their relationship situation. 

So now we have to be a part of a certain community to comment on studies within other communities.. Right..
Haven't you been caught in here before making inaccurate statements about homosexuality? Are you uncomfortable bro?
Once again it's your isolated mindset that plagues the "black community"


Dude, can you comprehend or understand anything??  Go back and re-read my previous post and then read it again before you try to assert your claim.  Just to provide another example for you, it would be no different than you creating a thread to vent or discuss a particular situation in your immediate family and you listing what those problems are than I or anyone else chiming in and trying to dispute any one of your claims or simply laughing it off.  Especially if I or anyone else wasn't a member of your immediate family.  How could we properly diagnose the problem if we're not a member of your immediate family, that's exactly what that individual did earlier.  He didn't ask a question or give a suggestion, he simply dismissed what I was saying, and he was dead wrong. 
Excuses for black women won't change a thing.. and pointing to homosexuals as stated before as a reason black women can't find a good man is a sad excuse..Religion has obviously jaded you..  As far as you talking to the white gentleman....He called you a joke because your answer was a joke, regardless of where he's from.. the comparison to my family does no justice here homay.. The study was about the "black population as a whole" not an isolated area...As I said before the issue is one that involves us all..therefore solutions and comments should be provided from all angles..The black community empowering itself and fighting the system you way you support obviously isn't holding up too well.. So time for plan b.... black taxes/white taxes to pay for illegitimate children comes out of the same pot..Yes these issues are important for everybody.. If you didn't notice welfare is a big topic lately... Once again you stand by your excuse.. show me numbers that homosexuality a leading reason why.. Education gaps, incarceration rates.. yes I can go with those.. but homosexuality ? seriously? You're a clown.. Frat Parties, yes the way to gain a grasp on black society.. the places where blacks pick and choose who can join and leave others outside of their circles for social purposes.. doesn't that process sound familiar? Black people who isolate themselves are doing nothing but repeating the past, why would you want to do that.. At some point the "system" is just holding me down excuse has to be let go of... for you I see that's not going to be anytime soon..

but before you throw up a fist for black power do us all a favor and hold your "sisters" accountable..