YO! Female infidelity...

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by Mark Antony

You're human though, it's quite easy.  Let the relationship get stale, you still love him, but there's something missing.  Some guy at school/work comes along with that thing missing, you grin ear to ear when around him without noticing, touch constantly...and it's a wrap.

If I truly am in love with someone and committed, I just cannot see myself doing it. Even at the worst of times. My last and only serious relationship, five and a half years. Ups and downs and when it hit rock bottom, it was quite bad. We were distant at times due to lack of communication and other issues. Never in my mind did cheating ever cross my mind (I use to be in contact with other men due to school and work too). I did not cheat and upheld my fidelity and loyalty, but he had an affair.  

That's just my character. When someone cheats in a committed relationship, that person is selfish and witholds a weak sense of character and morality. Those are not my traits. I am the complete opposite. Loyalty to my man is serious and I literally give my all.   

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by Mark Antony

You're human though, it's quite easy.  Let the relationship get stale, you still love him, but there's something missing.  Some guy at school/work comes along with that thing missing, you grin ear to ear when around him without noticing, touch constantly...and it's a wrap.

If I truly am in love with someone and committed, I just cannot see myself doing it. Even at the worst of times. My last and only serious relationship, five and a half years. Ups and downs and when it hit rock bottom, it was quite bad. We were distant at times due to lack of communication and other issues. Never in my mind did cheating ever cross my mind (I use to be in contact with other men due to school and work too). I did not cheat and upheld my fidelity and loyalty, but he had an affair.  

That's just my character. When someone cheats in a committed relationship, that person is selfish and witholds a weak sense of character and morality. Those are not my traits. I am the complete opposite. Loyalty to my man is serious and I literally give my all.   

 

[rbn718]

What constitutes cheating though?
Extra flirting/lunch dates with dudes at work?
Reckless private messages on facebook?
"Hanging out" with female friends but really being the wingman on a double date?
OR just plain old sex?
What are we really talking about here?

 

[rbn718]

What constitutes cheating though?
Extra flirting/lunch dates with dudes at work?
Reckless private messages on facebook?
"Hanging out" with female friends but really being the wingman on a double date?
OR just plain old sex?
What are we really talking about here?

 

[Mark Antony]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by Mark Antony

You're human though, it's quite easy.  Let the relationship get stale, you still love him, but there's something missing. Some guy at school/work comes along with that thing missing, you grin ear to ear when around him without noticing, touch constantly...and it's a wrap.

If I truly am in love with someone and committed, I just cannot see myself doing it. Even at the worst of times.My last and only serious relationship, five and a half years. Ups and downs and when it hit rock bottom, it was quite bad. We were distant at times due to lack of communication and other issues.Never in my mind did cheating ever cross my mind (I use to be in contact with other men due to school and work too). I did not cheat and upheld my fidelity and loyalty, but hehad an affair.

That's just my character. Whensomeone cheats in a committed relationship, that person is selfish and witholds a weak sense of character and morality. Those are not my traits. I amthe complete opposite. Loyalty to my man is serious andI literally give my all.

 

[Mark Antony]

Originally Posted by Hazeleyed Honey

Originally Posted by Mark Antony

You're human though, it's quite easy.  Let the relationship get stale, you still love him, but there's something missing. Some guy at school/work comes along with that thing missing, you grin ear to ear when around him without noticing, touch constantly...and it's a wrap.

If I truly am in love with someone and committed, I just cannot see myself doing it. Even at the worst of times.My last and only serious relationship, five and a half years. Ups and downs and when it hit rock bottom, it was quite bad. We were distant at times due to lack of communication and other issues.Never in my mind did cheating ever cross my mind (I use to be in contact with other men due to school and work too). I did not cheat and upheld my fidelity and loyalty, but hehad an affair.

That's just my character. Whensomeone cheats in a committed relationship, that person is selfish and witholds a weak sense of character and morality. Those are not my traits. I amthe complete opposite. Loyalty to my man is serious andI literally give my all.

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by rbn718

What constitutes cheating though?
Extra flirting/lunch dates with dudes at work?
Reckless private messages on facebook?
"Hanging out" with female friends but really being the wingman on a double date?
OR just plain old sex?
What are we really talking about here?

There is physical cheating and emotional cheating and then there's the combination of both. So, it can be physical (just sex) or emotional (develop feelings) with another person. Harmless flirting is whatever to me. But, if you act or feel anything towards another person besides me which you are also hiding, whether physical or emotional (or involves both), then that is cheating. When you cheat, you break the trust and commit betrayal, dishonesty, and disloyalty.

Hence, to me,  cheating and/or infedility consists of anything that breaches the expectation and boundaries of exclusivity in a committed relationship. 
  

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by rbn718

What constitutes cheating though?
Extra flirting/lunch dates with dudes at work?
Reckless private messages on facebook?
"Hanging out" with female friends but really being the wingman on a double date?
OR just plain old sex?
What are we really talking about here?

There is physical cheating and emotional cheating and then there's the combination of both. So, it can be physical (just sex) or emotional (develop feelings) with another person. Harmless flirting is whatever to me. But, if you act or feel anything towards another person besides me which you are also hiding, whether physical or emotional (or involves both), then that is cheating. When you cheat, you break the trust and commit betrayal, dishonesty, and disloyalty.

Hence, to me,  cheating and/or infedility consists of anything that breaches the expectation and boundaries of exclusivity in a committed relationship. 
  

 

[veryanalytical85]

Originally Posted by AirAnt23

What was your reaction? How'd you find out? Were you cheating too? 

DF!!!

Well...after being in this situation before there's one experience I am willing to share...
It took a lot of control from my end and I told her to get out of my apartment at the time (she was living with me over the weekend). Hung out with a "friend" which I find out later on from a mutual friend ended up being an ex-boyfriend. Nope, I wasn't cheating (considering I had the chance plenty of times during our relationship). I kept my end of the relationship and had to move on after this incident. She insisted on fixing it, but there's nothing to be fixed when it comes to breaking commitment and trust.

At the rate I'm going, it seems I'm becoming more pessimistic about relationships. While becoming more about that lone wolf lifestyle.

 

[veryanalytical85]

Originally Posted by AirAnt23

What was your reaction? How'd you find out? Were you cheating too? 

DF!!!

Well...after being in this situation before there's one experience I am willing to share...
It took a lot of control from my end and I told her to get out of my apartment at the time (she was living with me over the weekend). Hung out with a "friend" which I find out later on from a mutual friend ended up being an ex-boyfriend. Nope, I wasn't cheating (considering I had the chance plenty of times during our relationship). I kept my end of the relationship and had to move on after this incident. She insisted on fixing it, but there's nothing to be fixed when it comes to breaking commitment and trust.

At the rate I'm going, it seems I'm becoming more pessimistic about relationships. While becoming more about that lone wolf lifestyle.

 

[henz0]

!@%% is serious out here... The % of cheating people is far greater than the % that are not.. As long as u dont dwell on it to the point where youre going crazy u should b fine

 

[henz0]

!@%% is serious out here... The % of cheating people is far greater than the % that are not.. As long as u dont dwell on it to the point where youre going crazy u should b fine

 

[ghenges]

It all comes down to morals. Once upon a time, a long time ago, if you got caught cheating it was a big deal because the cheater felt shamed and embarrassed (male or female). These days there just aren't any consequences. I mean, what is it to be called a cheater or an adulterer these days? I'd say most of the time the one who got cheated ON is made out to look like a chump or someone who got 'played', they get the 'oh you should have known better' or the 'you should have seen it coming' treatment. It's kind of sad how the blame flipped over time.


Aside from there being a lack of moral consequences for cheating, the legal aspect of it is probably even uglier. I hate to say it but men do get the short end of the stick on this one. It doesn't matter if the male or the female cheats, if it leads to divorce, the man usually ends up losing out. Custody will most likely go to the mother and the man will get stuck with the child support. When I was in college I had a little retail job paying peanuts. I met a dude there who was telling me the story of how he was a mechanic making good $$$ and had a wife and two kids. One thing led to another and they got divorced, she got custody of the kids and long story short they were swiping 40% of his paycheck before he saw a nickel. It made no sense for him to be busting his tail as a mechanic to have that happen so he ended up quitting and working just a scrap minimum wage job so his wife isn't living off 40% of his mechanic paycheck. That story sent chills down my spine.


Moral of the story? Find a chick with good morals. It's funny because as soon as d00ds hear that they think "yea, I just mess with these club chicks now but I'm gonna wife a church girl". Let me be the first to say LOL. Just because a chick is sitting in church doesn't make her an angel. You need to talk to her and get in her head and truly find out if she's crazy or not. Talk about the serious issues and make sure she know what's up. Don't think morally sound girls don't exist. They do. You just got to open your eyes.

 

[ghenges]

It all comes down to morals. Once upon a time, a long time ago, if you got caught cheating it was a big deal because the cheater felt shamed and embarrassed (male or female). These days there just aren't any consequences. I mean, what is it to be called a cheater or an adulterer these days? I'd say most of the time the one who got cheated ON is made out to look like a chump or someone who got 'played', they get the 'oh you should have known better' or the 'you should have seen it coming' treatment. It's kind of sad how the blame flipped over time.


Aside from there being a lack of moral consequences for cheating, the legal aspect of it is probably even uglier. I hate to say it but men do get the short end of the stick on this one. It doesn't matter if the male or the female cheats, if it leads to divorce, the man usually ends up losing out. Custody will most likely go to the mother and the man will get stuck with the child support. When I was in college I had a little retail job paying peanuts. I met a dude there who was telling me the story of how he was a mechanic making good $$$ and had a wife and two kids. One thing led to another and they got divorced, she got custody of the kids and long story short they were swiping 40% of his paycheck before he saw a nickel. It made no sense for him to be busting his tail as a mechanic to have that happen so he ended up quitting and working just a scrap minimum wage job so his wife isn't living off 40% of his mechanic paycheck. That story sent chills down my spine.


Moral of the story? Find a chick with good morals. It's funny because as soon as d00ds hear that they think "yea, I just mess with these club chicks now but I'm gonna wife a church girl". Let me be the first to say LOL. Just because a chick is sitting in church doesn't make her an angel. You need to talk to her and get in her head and truly find out if she's crazy or not. Talk about the serious issues and make sure she know what's up. Don't think morally sound girls don't exist. They do. You just got to open your eyes.

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by VeryAnalytical85


At the rate I'm going, it seems I'm becoming more pessimistic about relationships. While becoming more about that lone wolf lifestyle.

I know what you mean right there. You just become jaded to love and relationships. But, do not let it get in the way because it will only make you bitter. Don't let what they did to you control your emotions. Conquer thyself. Always make sure YOU have that power to be in control. I guarantee you this way you will perform better as a person and individual.

How I see it...Humans will most of the time exhibit weakness and act on it. Human nature. Most people are not genuine and are out for their own self interests.That is why I tend to keep to myself and only let you in if I feel you are a genuine person. I now only give when I know it is reciprocated because now I know my self worth. Before, I used to give my all, and never expect anything in return. In the end, it only screwed me over because people would take advantage of it. So much fakeness out there. Have you ever had a falling out with a friend or been betrayed by one? You didn't let it affect having friendships with others, right? Same with relationships with the opposite sex. Just look at it as now that at least it made you a wiser, stronger and better individual overall. You learn from it and take it as an eye opener to relationships and how people can be. It better prepares you for watching out against toxic people and snakes in general, but also in a relationship.  


  

 

[hazeleyed honey]

Originally Posted by VeryAnalytical85


At the rate I'm going, it seems I'm becoming more pessimistic about relationships. While becoming more about that lone wolf lifestyle.

I know what you mean right there. You just become jaded to love and relationships. But, do not let it get in the way because it will only make you bitter. Don't let what they did to you control your emotions. Conquer thyself. Always make sure YOU have that power to be in control. I guarantee you this way you will perform better as a person and individual.

How I see it...Humans will most of the time exhibit weakness and act on it. Human nature. Most people are not genuine and are out for their own self interests.That is why I tend to keep to myself and only let you in if I feel you are a genuine person. I now only give when I know it is reciprocated because now I know my self worth. Before, I used to give my all, and never expect anything in return. In the end, it only screwed me over because people would take advantage of it. So much fakeness out there. Have you ever had a falling out with a friend or been betrayed by one? You didn't let it affect having friendships with others, right? Same with relationships with the opposite sex. Just look at it as now that at least it made you a wiser, stronger and better individual overall. You learn from it and take it as an eye opener to relationships and how people can be. It better prepares you for watching out against toxic people and snakes in general, but also in a relationship.  


  

 

[chokeonsmoke]

been cheated on before aint nothing new....thing is not to make them your world
no one owns no one in this world, once you totally grasp that youll be a better man

except if you have children

 

[chokeonsmoke]

been cheated on before aint nothing new....thing is not to make them your world
no one owns no one in this world, once you totally grasp that youll be a better man

except if you have children

 

[hella handsome]

I've been cheated on. How I found out? My boy went to school with her (we went to different high schools), he peeped her messing around with one of his teammates on the football team.
Hit my phone during his lunch one day, told me the news. 

My head was @$%$$% up in basketball practice that afternoon. I went home after practice and confronted her about it. I honestly didn't know what the feeling was at first, but it was later apparent that it was my first time really feeling betrayed, lied to, and violated (in a way, considering the thoughts of the person you care about going behind your back and giving affection to someone else. It makes you feel like you were used or something)

How did I get over it? Dumped her, she cried on the phone, blah blah blah, tried to deny it but finally owned up to it and apologized and tried to save our relationship. 

I dropped her, slowly but surely got my diddy bop back the next week at school, started talking to new chicks. 

We were together for a couple years before then too. She @$%$$% it all up

Was cheated on again a couple years ago. That debacle was horrible, messy, and I learned to never keep one girl without having an injury reserve. Because some broads are just grimey.  

 

[hella handsome]

I've been cheated on. How I found out? My boy went to school with her (we went to different high schools), he peeped her messing around with one of his teammates on the football team.
Hit my phone during his lunch one day, told me the news. 

My head was @$%$$% up in basketball practice that afternoon. I went home after practice and confronted her about it. I honestly didn't know what the feeling was at first, but it was later apparent that it was my first time really feeling betrayed, lied to, and violated (in a way, considering the thoughts of the person you care about going behind your back and giving affection to someone else. It makes you feel like you were used or something)

How did I get over it? Dumped her, she cried on the phone, blah blah blah, tried to deny it but finally owned up to it and apologized and tried to save our relationship. 

I dropped her, slowly but surely got my diddy bop back the next week at school, started talking to new chicks. 

We were together for a couple years before then too. She @$%$$% it all up

Was cheated on again a couple years ago. That debacle was horrible, messy, and I learned to never keep one girl without having an injury reserve. Because some broads are just grimey.  

 

[brandon3000]

Originally Posted by jawnyquest

this thread depresses me. what happened to loyalty and trust? damn yo

I hear you.

 

[brandon3000]

Originally Posted by jawnyquest

this thread depresses me. what happened to loyalty and trust? damn yo

I hear you.

 

[doublejs07]

What I don't get is why folks take back the other person after they have cheated.....

No matter how people feel about trying to fix things, someone will always have the perceived "upper-hand" in the relationship due to the dirt the other person did.

 

[doublejs07]

What I don't get is why folks take back the other person after they have cheated.....

No matter how people feel about trying to fix things, someone will always have the perceived "upper-hand" in the relationship due to the dirt the other person did.

 

[airedweezy]

Originally Posted by ElderWatsonDiggs

Originally Posted by mondaynightraw

I would kill her

No bs...

There are plenty of dudes in prison that made that same mistake, well at least the ones who didn't kill themselves after killing their chicks. Why people feel like they own other people is beyond me. I just don't see why dudes get to the point where they do something stupid like that just because they feelings got hurt. Move on and find a new chick, or just be alone.

 this you speack the truth man..no one owns you if you aint the one move it on man theres plenty of girls...the best is find you a badder one


i speak from experience its a bad feeling man to find out your getting done dirty

 just cant let it hold you down