Whats the male equivalent to a 'girl with daddy issues'?

[powerballin]

I just wanted to say "baaaaaaa"

 

[knowledgebones72]

I agree.

The worst part is that Black women refuse to believe this. I tried to tell this to a girlfriend of mine at the time, and she flipped out on me. I just didn't understand why she was rejecting such an obvious statement so harshly. Like not even disagreeing, but straight up angry that I would even say such a thing to her.

I think the Black community is way too used to single mothers raising boys, so after being generations deep it's such a norm that a kid having a dad is looked as as abnormal.

Sad.

 

[Mark Antony]

^^^^ damb... That **** was long as hell...

you opened up a can of worms with that "a woman can't teach a man how to be a man" comment..

cats coming at your neck in a min...

He is right though.............

But most people of color are raised by single mothers so of course they will oject.

that's what made me realize at some point i'm gonna have to stop saying **** that ***** when the daddy/abandonment issues pop up and start dealing with it with my future wife. Too many out there.

 

[ricky409]

He is right though.............

But most people of color are raised by single mothers so of course they will oject.

naw, ric flair...

i'm not saying he's wrong... i'm just saying that cats are gonna come at his neck for the statement...

i believe in it, doe.

 

[whywesteppin]

it is mind bottling though how women are incapable of understanding certain parts of male psyche, despite being largely in tune with a lot of other guy things and despite trying hard to understand. I don't know if they're in denial or if it's just something their biology prevents them from grasping.

no offense meant... I know we guys can't understand some aspects of being a girl.

point is that I agree that there are some things a girl can't impart in a guy and vice versa.

 

[powerballin]

We had a whole thread on this. It got ugly. Glad yall get it though.

 

[big meech]

To sum up shoe post.

This single mother household raises a man to be a trick and the woman to be a ho.

 

[powerballin]

Not even close Meech

 

[Gill Baka Esq. LLC.]

you can see it in society...the traditional male is damn near nonexistant...plus like ive said before if you dont have first hand knowledge of something/experience how can you teach it to others... A woman cannot teach a man how to be a man..she can give him what her idea of what a man is...what she would like in a man...what her opinion of what a man is/should be.... But being a man nope. If so name me any facet of anything to where you can have no first hand knowledge nor experience in something and yet be able to teach it...I'll wait for that one.

Alot of dudes for some odd reason think jumpoffs etc... woman who just cannot for whatever the multitude of reason maybe cannot keep a real man in they life didnt exist when they mom was young...granted i get the bias of them being your mom.

Often times ppl if they cannot achieve/accomplish thing themselves or arent willing to change/sacrafice to reach said goal or achievement will vicariously achieve this thru others...ie the father who lives out his football dreams by having his son be a great football player...and then there is the mom who raises her son in what she ideally think a man should be..do to them not being able to maintain keep one. What ive seen is usually you get a captain save em...or a guy who is so resentful go waaay on the other side of the spectrum ie a pimp player womanizer. These are the guys who usually try to be extra hard ie the reason for these rise of these internet thugs and fake gangsters... or tricks/marks/simps etc.

So you basically have a woman raising her son with the mindset of a women...trying to give the image of a man a fascade if you will. then you have the girl/daughter having the mindset of man aka im so independent etc... trying to give the image of a women... Thus you have this whole sensative male/metrosexual.... daytime tv type of dudes...and the i am the boss, i run the show head honcho type of women...

I then basically said it still works out because their is still the dominant submissive relationship...its just the guy is the submissive one with a false image of dominance based on what a woman believe the alpha is. and you have the woman being the dominant one with a false image of submissiveness based on what a woman wish she was.

In short someone is wearing the slacks someone is wearing the sassons...its just the dude is wearing the sasoons trying to play it off like they slacks, and the woman is wearing the slacks and playing it off like the sasoons. and it works cause end of the day the dynamic is still there.

What i ended with is saying is that if said dude was to walk up with the sasoons on and convince the woman who has sasoons on and say these are slacks... it usually doesnt work...and same goes for woman in scenario with interaction with man.

I'm not gonna lie...it makes sense.

 

[unsuited]

quote

you can see it in society...the traditional male is damn near nonexistant...plus like ive said before if you dont have first hand knowledge of something/experience how can you teach it to others... A woman cannot teach a man how to be a man..she can give him what her idea of what a man is...what she would like in a man...what her opinion of what a man is/should be.... But being a man nope. If so name me any facet of anything to where you can have no first hand knowledge nor experience in something and yet be able to teach it...I'll wait for that one.

men dont give birth, yet you do have doctors that show /tell women how to deliver it.....

 

[unsuited]

anyways....people are acting like a household that is missing a female figure...would be just fine.......

 

[ksteezy]

A woman can't raise a man, she raises a "citizen".

 

[knowledgebones72]

it is mind bottling though how women are incapable of understanding certain parts of male psyche, despite being largely in tune with a lot of other guy things and despite trying hard to understand. I don't know if they're in denial or if it's just something their biology prevtns them from grasping.

no offense meant... I know we guys can't understand some aspects of being a girl.

point is that I agree that there are some things a girl can't impart in a guy and vice versa.

I was raised by a single mother, and it took me a couple decades to realize that she was putting in a real effort throughout my childhood to force me into being a beta-male. Aggression, independence, and non-emotional logical thinking were all discouraged as things that made my mother worry that i was going to grow up and become a woman-beating criminal who would only date white women. I was eight years old and she was telling me that if i kept getting bad grades i was going to end up in jail getting effed in the bee by my cellmate. Who does that? She literally said that to an eight year old boy.

Imagine being a little kid and having to worry about whether or not what you're saying is going to be taken the wrong way, or having to guess and determine what kind of mood your mom is in so you can leave the house at all that day and hang out with whatever friends you still have since most of them simply forgot you existed since you could never come out becaue your mom has you in charge cooking meals and cleaning the house and raising your little sisters. At this time I'm like 10 and they're 6. Kids shouldn't have to worry about that kind of stuff.

My mom would literally tell me that i had to be my two twin sisters' dad since ours wasn't ****. She openly hated on him all the time. One time I got her mad for being a regular bad 10 year old kid and she packed all my stuff up, put it at the front door and pretended to call my dad and tell him to come pick me up to live with him. Had me hyped like "yea, I'm gonna live with dad and learn about life and live with a man for once!" Then an hour later she told me that he's not coming because he doesn't care about me.

Not to mention all many the times in life where the way my mother raised me to be worked directly against any instincts I had and often led to me getting my *** kicked or simping over a broad or just being an over all beta.

As I got older and entered into my junior and senior years of high school i straight up hated her and never spoke to her. I'm 25 now and we get along great and I feel bad because she's definitely gonna die soon from health problems and it's hard for me to be around her for more than 10 minutes unless we're watching a movie or eating a meal. We don't argue or anything, but I just don't feel that connection with her like so many Black men feel with their mothers. Most of the time when I talk to her it's "hey how are you" then i'm just waiting till an appropriate time to end the convo.

I just typed alot, and that's not even the tip of the iceberg of my relatinship of my mother. I really have some deep issues concerning her that I've had to get help for, which is why I gravitated to this thread. And it's also why I tell every woman I know that it is impossible for a woman to truly raise a man.

 

[shoelyesses]

it is mind bottling though how women are incapable of understanding certain parts of male psyche, despite being largely in tune with a lot of other guy things and despite trying hard to understand. I don't know if they're in denial or if it's just something their biology prevents them from grasping.

no offense meant... I know we guys can't understand some aspects of being a girl.

point is that I agree that there are some things a girl can't impart in a guy and vice versa.

it is baffling and it goes to show that you can have 10 degrees etc travel the world do all the things society portrays/associate with intelligence and still be stupid. As i said and really think about it, how can you have no experience, no first hand accounts/witness and no knowledge of something and be able to tell someone, show someone or teach them about it?

If i never saw bball, never played bball, had no concept of the game of bball, how would i be able to coach a bball team? How would i teach the fundamentals of the game, hell why would i at the very least be able to explain the game of bball.

No knock to single mothers but its funny how they wouldnt take they car to get repaired by a person who isnt a mechanic, never was taught about cars, never drove a car, hell have no idea about cars, yet think they can teach and raise a male to be a man, and they arent a man, never was taught about men, never been with a man, have no idea about a man, or what all entails to be a man.

It just doesnt make any kinda sense. A woman wouldnt trust doing their own electrical work because they aint a electrician,has no idea about electricity, but wont apply that same basic common sense ration of logic to their son

 

[powerballin]

Thats deep homie.

 

[88th]

Soo many generalizations here.

To the guy that says women can't teach u how to be a man bc she's not a man, ur doing the same by assuming fatherless people can't grow up to be well adjusted adults while u've prob didn't grow up without a father.

By ur same flawed reasoning: u weren't raised by women, so u have no idea how the upbringing was or what the thought process was BC U WEREN'T THERE!

Even further just because a father wasn't there doesn't mean that there wasn't a positive male influence there either. Even more, a child's upbringing isn't the single determining factor of how a person turns out, its a big one, but not the sole factor.

Someones definition of a "man" is different to someone else. A LOT of people on here love to act and believe in the "traditional" role of a dominant male etc etc while projecting that belief to others. Its the same as religion, everyone has a different opinion on what a "man" should do or say.

I give no dambs about what a "man" should or shouldn't do, how he should act or carry himself. All I know is that my mother raised me to be a responsible considerate decent human being and that matters WAAY more that being a real "man".

 

[shoelyesses]

quote

you can see it in society...the traditional male is damn near nonexistant...plus like ive said before if you dont have first hand knowledge of something/experience how can you teach it to others... A woman cannot teach a man how to be a man..she can give him what her idea of what a man is...what she would like in a man...what her opinion of what a man is/should be.... But being a man nope. If so name me any facet of anything to where you can have no first hand knowledge nor experience in something and yet be able to teach it...I'll wait for that one.

men dont give birth, yet you do have doctors that show /tell women how to deliver it.....

um lol that doesnt make sense because woman naturally give birth and they dont have to be "taught" how to do it. Thats like saying you have to teach your kids how to potty...um no they instinctively know how to pee...what you are teaching them is the ways in which society deems fit to potty ie...using a toilet etc... But the actual ability to pee isnt taught. same as a woman giving birth.

Its just like when i ran track...my coach didnt "teach" me how to run... i have the matural ability to do so...what he taught me was techniques in which i would be a better, more efficient runner...and even in that aspect he had to have some knowledge of track in order to impart that knowledge to me.

And i know you will probably say my parents taught me how to run/walk etc... and again no. i learn by watching what they did, and even still the example had to be set, if i never saw a person walk/run how would i learn or even know the ability to do so existed? And even that example isnt gender based.

So again i said name something that is a specific skillset that can be taught to a person, by a person who has no knowledge, experience, or lack the ability to do said skillset.

Essentially that would be like saying you take two ppl and they both want to be in the IT field. One is taught in a college by a person who was in the field, has knoweldge of computers, and is a teacher, the other is taught by a person who never been in the IT field, has no knowledge of the field, cant teach, and hell never used a cpu or even no what one is. and then say somehow it doesnt matter cause both have an equal chance at obtaining the required skills to be in the IT field. Or saying oh they dont need to be a teacher, worked in the field or even know what a cpu is in order to provide the same knowledge, life experience, and the ins and outs of being in the IT field as a IT worker who has years experience and is a teacher.

The notion is foolish at best.

 

[powerballin]

And here's the part where the offended parties respond while proving the theory correct without realizing it.

 

[unsuited]

^not arguing against the stance, because i feel a family deficient in the male figure is just as worse off as a family lacking a female figure......

that statement of yours just didnt sit well with me......

if you have the right tools.....what is needing a 'proffesional'?.......

you have highly successful ...self-taught ...IT people....

.

 

[knowledgebones72]

^not arguing against the stance, because i feel a family deficient in the male figure is just as worse off as a family lacking a female figure......


that statement of yours just didnt sit well with me......


if you have the right tools.....what is needing a 'proffesional'?.......



you have highly successful ...self-taught ...IT people....


.

let's be really honest about the success rate of self taught individuals versus those who have gone through the proper educational channels.

 

[shoelyesses]

Soo many generalizations here.

To the guy that says women can't teach u how to be a man bc she's not a man, ur doing the same by assuming fatherless people can't grow up to be well adjusted adults while u've prob didn't grow up without a father.

By ur same flawed reasoning: u weren't raised by women, so u have no idea how the upbringing was or what the thought process was BC U WEREN'T THERE!

Even further just because a father wasn't there doesn't mean that there wasn't a positive male influence there either. Even more, a child's upbringing isn't the single determining factor of how a person turns out, its a big one, but not the sole factor.

Someones definition of a "man" is different to someone else. A LOT of people on here love to act and believe in the "traditional" role of a dominant male etc etc while projecting that belief to others. Its the same as religion, everyone has a different opinion on what a "man" should do or say.

I give no dambs about what a "man" should or shouldn't do, how he should act or carry himself. All I know is that my mother raised me to be a responsible considerate decent human being and that matters WAAY more that being a real "man".

I never said your father i said a father figure... Its not a assumption it is a fact...explain to me how can you teach something that you dont know, have no knowledge of and never experienced?

Name something anything...doesnt have to be parenting... give me a example where someone who had absolutely no knowledge of a subject matter and they educated you on it.

The whole someone definition is exactly my point... ppl are and in often times...women give what they believe think a man is... what they wish a man was... think of it like this i could guess my way through a test..and pass... does that mean i have knowledge on the subject i tested on? Thats essentially what your saying

So long as I pass (aka a decent person) i have knowledge of being a man.. You said traditional which in its own word is origin....Look at it like this a hanger is traditionally made to hang clothes... yes you could use it for a multitude of reasons...and by your logic hell as long as it accomplished a goal and worked then fine by me...but end of the day whether you used it as a tv antennae, snake a drain, jimmy a car door open, still doesnt change the fact it traditionally aka origin is to hang clothes. The idea of because i got something accomplished in an unconvientional way doesnt dismiss the convientional way in which it was intended to be used. Nor does it change what the intentional purpose of said tool.

Ie like sex... yes it is enjoyable... yea we have bi/homo etc... yea we have ppl who sell it etc..and see it as a form of entertainment..and i dont knock what you do with it... but to say your take on it, or why you have sex...is more valid or your opinion of it etc... still doesnt change the traditional/origin purpose of sex is to procreate.

Im in no way saying no father or father figure means a male will be a detriment to society etc... but what i am saying just because you arent those things doesnt make you a man.. nor does just because you fumble and guessed your way through a test and passed means you have knowledge of what the test was about, nor does it mean you have just as much knowledge on the subject as the person who has knowledge of the material on the test just because you both passed aka came out alright.

 

[unsuited]

let's be really honest about the success rate of self taught individuals versus those who have gone through the proper educational channels.

like....Bill Gates?......

also....women are not 100% un-aware of what a guy is about......in fact....there are important aspects of being a man that comes from a female figure...so that comparison of......u cant teach what you dont know......just doesnt work.....

 

[88th]

And here's the part where the offended parties respond while proving the theory correct without realizing it.

I guess a differing opinion = "offended theory proving post"
Riight...

 

[knowledgebones72]

let's be really honest about the success rate of self taught individuals versus those who have gone through the proper educational channels.

like....Bill Gates?......

because Bill Gates didn't drop out of HARVARD????

That's like you had the greatest dad ever and he died when you were in you're 20's.

 

[powerballin]

Life and the genders are Ying and Yang.  One needs the other.  They are equal but different.  This isn't about bashing women but stating that the sexes are different.  A man can't raise a woman either.  You need to watch and learn from your same sex parent/guardian/ role model.  This isn't even about your immediate home situation.  You just need these same sex influences in your life in some form or fashion.