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amazing how this has been conveniently glossed over.be afraid of marriage but have multiple/ a BM bruhs
70% of Divorces are filed by women. 90% of Child Custody cases are awarded to women.
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IMO it means becoming an all around better man that she can trusts. A relationship is only a strong as the weakest link. If I'm developing myself as I age and she's not doing the same then something is bound to go wrong. To be clear, I'm not saying I tell her to jump and she says how high.
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one more intentional than the other
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1. Yea, I wasn't looking at it from that POV.
2. I hear the idea of improving yourself, but where does the Lead/FOllow dynamic come into play? -
If you both are/should be on the road to self-improvement, at which point does that lead/follow dynamic come into play.
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which are you referring to?
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If laws were adjusted to reflect realistic modern day civilization.....
Examples:
1.) Child support based on need of the child, not lifestyle of the father/mother during wedlock
2.) Burden of proof on filer that reason for divorce is a NEW behavior detrimental to the relationship/safety of her/him or the child
3.) Standard of split custody being set with rare exceptions
4.) Elimination of spousal support in all cases
But government doesn't want to do this for several reasons.......
I don't get why the government encourages marriages in 2020, I get that in general it raises healthier and more informed children that are then able to pass on those characteristics throughout society, not to mention the countless benefits that spouses receive...this is an actual list
But when more than half of marriages are ending in divorce, this has negative emotional impact of all involved, destroys wealth for the children and usually ends poorly for the man.
It is alluring to have a family though, and I do get why people want to get married, I will for sure someday soon.
Examples:
1.) Child support based on need of the child, not lifestyle of the father/mother during wedlock
2.) Burden of proof on filer that reason for divorce is a NEW behavior detrimental to the relationship/safety of her/him or the child
3.) Standard of split custody being set with rare exceptions
4.) Elimination of spousal support in all cases
But government doesn't want to do this for several reasons.......
I don't get why the government encourages marriages in 2020, I get that in general it raises healthier and more informed children that are then able to pass on those characteristics throughout society, not to mention the countless benefits that spouses receive...this is an actual list
- Right to benefits while married:
- Employment assistance and transitional services for spouses of members being separated from military service; continued commissary privileges
- Per diem payment to spouse for federal civil service employees when relocating
- Indian Health Service care for spouses of Native Americans (in some circumstances)
- Sponsor husband/wife for immigration benefits
- Larger benefits under some programs if married, including:
- Veteran's disability
- Supplemental Security Income
- Disability payments for federal employees
- Medicaid
- Property tax exemption for homes of totally disabled veterans
- Income tax deductions, credits, rates exemption, and estimates
- Wages of an employee working for one's spouse are exempt from federal unemployment tax[5]
- Joint and family-related rights:
- Joint filing of bankruptcy permitted
- Joint parenting rights, such as access to children's school records
- Family visitation rights for the spouse and non-biological children, such as to visit a spouse in a hospital or prison
- Next-of-kin status for emergency medical decisions or filing wrongful death claims
- Custodial rights to children, shared property, child support, and alimony after divorce
- Domestic violence intervention
- Access to "family only" services, such as reduced rate memberships to clubs & organizations or residency in certain neighborhoods
- Preferential hiring for spouses of veterans in government jobs
- Tax-free transfer of property between spouses (including on death) and exemption from "due-on-sale" clauses.
- Special consideration to spouses of citizens and resident aliens
- Threats against spouses of various federal employees is a federal crime
- Right to continue living on land purchased from spouse by National Park Service when easement granted to spouse
- Court notice of probate proceedings
- Domestic violence protection orders
- Existing homestead lease continuation of rights
- Regulation of condominium sales to owner-occupants exemption
- Funeral and bereavement leave
- Joint adoption and foster care
- Joint filing of taxes (see filing status)
- Insurance licenses, coverage, eligibility, and benefits organization of mutual benefits society
- Legal status with stepchildren
- Making spousal medical decisions
- Spousal non-resident tuition differential waiver
- Permission to make funeral arrangements for a deceased spouse, including burial or cremation
- Right of survivorship of custodial trust
- Right to change surname upon marriage
- Right to enter into prenuptial agreement
- Right to inheritance of property
- Spousal privilege in court cases (the marital confidences privilege and the spousal testimonial privilege)
- For those divorced or widowed, the right to many of ex- or late spouse's benefits, including:
- Social Security pension
- Veteran's pensions, indemnity compensation for service-connected deaths, medical care, and nursing home care, right to burial in veterans' cemeteries, educational assistance, and housing
- survivor benefits for federal employees
- Survivor benefits for spouses of longshoremen, harbor workers, railroad workers
- Additional benefits to spouses of coal miners who die of black lung disease
- $100,000 to spouse of any public safety officer killed in the line of duty
- Continuation of employer-sponsored health benefits
- Renewal and termination rights to spouse's copyrights on death of spouse
- Continued water rights of spouse in some circumstances
- Payment of wages and workers compensation benefits after worker death
- Making, revoking, and objecting to post-mortem anatomical gifts
But when more than half of marriages are ending in divorce, this has negative emotional impact of all involved, destroys wealth for the children and usually ends poorly for the man.
It is alluring to have a family though, and I do get why people want to get married, I will for sure someday soon.
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That's the part of the human nature psychology I can't explain but can only give examples. I think back every "getting to know" stage and it was almost always the girl copying things you did, wanting things you have (hoodies, shorts, listening to what you listen to, etc). Kinda looking up to you even though you may have not been your best self.
I work in the medical field. I hear so many "I'm never doing that again" stories. Just heard a crazy story recently. Her bum *** boyfriend might come across this thread. Told me they been together since high school, a few kids, and own a home. 2 months after she became a doctor, dude decided he wasn't going to work anymore. He hasn't had a job in 3 years. A few months ago she randomly tells me she just realized dude has been manipulating/gaslighting her for years. That's an extreme example of being a poor leader and how monsters are created.
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If our “government” made living, and the cost of living more affordable, there would be less marriages.
Bottom line, living is expensive, so therefore, the concept of marriage is appealing to certain people.
If things were more affordable, this wouldn’t be an issue.
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She gotta be accountable too though. If a dude ups and stops working (now if he starts his own business or hustles) that’s different. A hard working person is not just gone up and quit working (unless for medical reasons). Dude probably was exhibiting traits of being lazy from the get go.
If she met him in high school, chances are he was lazy then, as well. Either you’re lazy, or not, that’s noticeable after a few weeks of being with someone. She should’ve dropped buddy as soon as he determined he wanted to leach off her
Dudes who I knew where lazy kids or lazy in high school, they’re still lazy as adults. Unless they have some type of hustle (legitimately or illegally), it usually translates into adulthood.
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I'm surprised that laws on child support has not changed much, especially with our politicians being mostly male and recognizing that divorce courts are extremely biased against males.
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Child support was designed to be more detrimental to black families, initially....
Like they’ll lock you up just for being behind on CS? That’s a clear sign.
You wouldn’t be put behind bars, if you were behind on a loan or credit card. It’s ridiculous
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She gotta be accountable too though. If a dude ups and stops working (now if he starts his own business or hustles) that’s different. A hard working person is not just gone up and quit working (unless for medical reasons). Dude probably was exhibiting traits of being lazy from the get go.
If she met him in high school, chances are he was lazy then, as well. Either you’re lazy, or not, that’s noticeable after a few weeks of being with someone. She should’ve dropped buddy as soon as he determined he wanted to leach off her
Dudes who I knew where lazy kids or lazy in high school, they’re still lazy as adults. Unless they have some type of hustle (legitimately or illegally), it usually translates into adulthood.
I agree with you 100%.
Victim blaming.
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WE didn't help create a damned thing in regard to the conditions women suffer through in america, especially the conditions of Black women. However, Black men should be pissed due to the condition of our mothers, sisters and lovers, due to such existing conditions. Those who voted for Trump a second time need to be in the front of the line apologizing profusely. It is a disgusting thought that Black women are indeed the most disrespected woman on the planet, yet time and time again, Black women are at the forefront of change, for which Black men get to take advantage of said change. Once in the drivers seat, the stereotype of the angry, difficult Black woman becomes the mantra for those Black men.
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You're making this political and racial. I was trying to keep it psychological. There's a lot of factors tho and I'm no expert.
Legal system isn't fair to us but whose getting the women pregnant and proposing? We all ignore signs.
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EVERYTHING is "political."
Especially anything that deals with power struggles between two groups.
In this case, Men and WOmen.
It all has a political source. Control is purely political.
I tried explaining to King ScumBag BA
DCBatman
that WHO you marry IS a political move, he didn't get it.
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It is BOTH political and racial. Are you Black?
Yeah man I was actually being sarcastic but I get your point.
Shame that we are in this place but cultural conditioning is real.
Once the money gets involved nothing makes sense anymore.
Marriage these days is a cash cow for the church, government, and private industry.
From DeBeers to marriage counselors...lots of folks eating off the marriage plate.
Nothing new under the Sun. The whole reason marriage even became a big thing for the masses is because of the (Western) Church wanting in on the action:
For many observers then as well as today, however, the most startling component of scholastic sacramental doctrine was the insistence on free consent between the spouses as the sole requisite for marriage contracts to acquire validity. Neither a public ceremony, nor the presence of a priest, of relatives, or of witnesses was necessary to create permanent matrimonial obligations and secure approval from the ecclesiastical hierarchy. As a result, so-called clandestine marriages, contracted without publicity and sufficient testimony proliferated and quickly provoked prohibition from church as well as lay legislators. All the same, the rule establishing binding force ‘by consent alone (solo consensu)’ stood firm from its formulation in the 1100s to the promulgation of Tametsi in 1563, enduring for the astonishing length of 400 years. ‘Medieval clerics, canonists, and theologians did not celebrate the possibility of marrying clandestinely’, Reynolds writes in his concluding section, although ‘they reluctantly accepted that there was no way to make them invalid’ (pp. 981–2).
The unending issue of clandestinity, deeply embedded in the late medieval construct of sacramental marriage, affords Reynolds with an ideal opportunity to make good on his inaugural promise and expound why the scholastic experts would have ‘argued as they did, for they often used forms of argument that would convince few if any today’ (p. xxv). In order to uncover socio-historical causes such as the ones behind the peculiar theological choice of sole consent as the cornerstone of canonical marriage, Reynold laces his treatment with brief forays into the wider historical context and asked what tangible influences can be discerned beyond the narrow discourse of contemporary academics. In so doing and venturing outside his own primary expertise as a medievalist theologian and intellectual historian, he relinquishes the ‘fresh’ and direct consultation of the primary material on display elsewhere in his book and relies with greater regularity on works of secondary literature written in the English language.
The historians of medieval canon law cited by Reynolds generally agree on certain normative and political circumstances that supposedly informed 12th-century normative thought during the build-up of sacramental doctrine. In Reynolds’ words, for example, ‘the inclusion of marriage among the sacraments presupposed that the church had exclusive legal competence as regards both legislation and jurisdiction over the essential matters of marriage’ (p. 36). His assessment is in line with the widely held historiographical belief that church courts had managed to secure ‘exclusive jurisdiction over marriage around 1100’ (pp. 38–9), and prepared the ground for theologians to conceive of the institution as something that already possessed universality for Christians similar to the other sacraments. In effect, modern scholarship on England and Northern France quite unanimously delineates a historical setting in which both theory and practice had no one except ecclesiastical judges adjudicate whether or not marital claims were legally valid. To cite Ruth Mazo Karras (1), domestic partnerships outside of wedlock as defined by the priesthood could only feature as ‘unmarriages’ at the time.
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be afraid of marriage but have multiple/ a BM bruhs
I don't get it.
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I will say this, I have seen one of my hombres going through it on thanksgiving with his BM. Shorty decided she wanted to be a "Birkin Bag Bad *****" and began moving all sorts of crazy. They split and she got a new man and everything. She's on social media talking about "living her best life" every other day. My Hombre gets a new girlfriend who looks 10x badder. His BM finds out about her and been moving, even more, crazier than normal. He was supposed to get his child for thanksgiving weekend and went to pick the kid up on Wednesday. The baby moms told him to come back the following day. He grumbles, but let it rock. Shorty took his kid and went to a whole other state the following day and told him if he wants the kid, he must drive to pickup the kid. Be careful who you impregnate or marry.
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I think they are saying how are you scared of the institution of marriage and how it can drain a man financially but voluntary sign up for co-parenting with multiple women.
I am just translating.
I am JUST translating.
I am just TRANSlating.
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Marriage is already one of the biggest conspiracies perpetrated against man, I can’t see any reason to compound that conspiracy with another
.To each his own, of course...
