Coming off as too friendly.

[nujerzloyalty]

Yeah bro, I'm pretty sure you heard the saying, "Nice guys finish last". You don't wanna be known as the "nice" guy. Chicks will have convo's with her friend about how nice you are, and most of the time she's going to get the response ...."It's those 'nice' one's you have to worry about.

Anyways, I'm gonna quote you on what you said....

"Im guess the reason I feel constant rejection from girls that I talk to/date isnt be cause they dont like me/ want me. Its cause they feel as though Im rejecting them with the distant vibe I give off, and in turn act on it first."

You have to let your intentions be known homie. If you like them, TELL them. The way that you just communicated to all of us in this thread, you can sit down and communicate to a chick that you like.

And don't ALWAYS try to be a comedian. Don't get me wrong, chicks LOVE dudes with a sense of humor, but you have to learn when to turn it off and on. Flirt with them a lil. Subtle touches on her hand, arm, etc; whispers in her ear, direct eye contact. You have to let these chicks know that you're interested in them bro.

 

[luong1209]

Yea, I'm like this as well. Took an L because as nice as I did treat her, it was no different than the ways I treat (female) friends...

 

[dipsetgeneral]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

honestly the thing that separates the guys who get the girl from the guys that dont is that the guy that gets her goes after...

he makes moves to kiss her and touch while the other guy is to busy being 'nice' and thinking he's respecting her space or is afraid of rejection...

most girls aren't gonna make that first move...

you gotta throw those hints out that the point of this whole thing is to smash...

of course if you want more than smashing from the girl you'll move a lil slower but it should always be out there that you're here to beat...

you gotta gauge the girl on how slow/fast to move

Oh okay.

 

[luong1209]

Yea, I'm like this as well. Took an L because as nice as I did treat her, it was no different than the ways I treat (female) friends...

 

[dipsetgeneral]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

honestly the thing that separates the guys who get the girl from the guys that dont is that the guy that gets her goes after...

he makes moves to kiss her and touch while the other guy is to busy being 'nice' and thinking he's respecting her space or is afraid of rejection...

most girls aren't gonna make that first move...

you gotta throw those hints out that the point of this whole thing is to smash...

of course if you want more than smashing from the girl you'll move a lil slower but it should always be out there that you're here to beat...

you gotta gauge the girl on how slow/fast to move

Oh okay.

 

[luigitheking]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

honestly the thing that separates the guys who get the girl from the guys that dont is that the guy that gets her goes after...

he makes moves to kiss her and touch while the other guy is to busy being 'nice' and thinking he's respecting her space or is afraid of rejection...

most girls aren't gonna make that first move...

you gotta throw those hints out that the point of this whole thing is to smash...

of course if you want more than smashing from the girl you'll move a lil slower but it should always be out there that you're here to beat...

you gotta gauge the girl on how slow/fast to move

It's always the first impression that feels weird coming on too strong.
like I'll try to be humorous and sarcastic as to not make it awkward the first time meeting a girl in class or something, but then feel like I'm already about to put myself in the friendzone by just trying to create a good conversation rather than come at her aggressively and make it awkward. *kanye shrug*

 

[luigitheking]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

honestly the thing that separates the guys who get the girl from the guys that dont is that the guy that gets her goes after...

he makes moves to kiss her and touch while the other guy is to busy being 'nice' and thinking he's respecting her space or is afraid of rejection...

most girls aren't gonna make that first move...

you gotta throw those hints out that the point of this whole thing is to smash...

of course if you want more than smashing from the girl you'll move a lil slower but it should always be out there that you're here to beat...

you gotta gauge the girl on how slow/fast to move

It's always the first impression that feels weird coming on too strong.
like I'll try to be humorous and sarcastic as to not make it awkward the first time meeting a girl in class or something, but then feel like I'm already about to put myself in the friendzone by just trying to create a good conversation rather than come at her aggressively and make it awkward. *kanye shrug*

 

[speakup23]

Guys Im seriously all ++%@%+ up, no lie

That whole failure of being aggressive and making the first is what really $%+*! me over

-Every girl Ive been with, has been the one to make initial contact with me. Theres only been one girl that I can remember where I went up to her and asked for her number. And even she made the first move after we exchanged numbers.

- And when I get the numbers and we start talking, Im never the one to make initial contact. I always wait for them to hit me up first. And if they dont hit me up first, then Ill take it as an L and give up on it all together, feeling as though they lost interest.

 

[speakup23]

Guys Im seriously all ++%@%+ up, no lie

That whole failure of being aggressive and making the first is what really $%+*! me over

-Every girl Ive been with, has been the one to make initial contact with me. Theres only been one girl that I can remember where I went up to her and asked for her number. And even she made the first move after we exchanged numbers.

- And when I get the numbers and we start talking, Im never the one to make initial contact. I always wait for them to hit me up first. And if they dont hit me up first, then Ill take it as an L and give up on it all together, feeling as though they lost interest.

 

[All Ready]

it has to be natural kindness and not you going outta your way to make a lasting positive impression

there's def nothing wrong with showing a chick that you are kind, understanding and reliable

playfulness and aggression are factors also

 

[All Ready]

it has to be natural kindness and not you going outta your way to make a lasting positive impression

there's def nothing wrong with showing a chick that you are kind, understanding and reliable

playfulness and aggression are factors also

 

[luigitheking]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Guys Im seriously all ++%@%+ up, no lie

That whole failure of being aggressive and making the first is what really $%+*! me over

-Every girl Ive been with, has been the one to make initial contact with me. Theres only been one girl that I can remember where I went up to her and asked for her number. And even she made the first move after we exchanged numbers.

- And when I get the numbers and we start talking, Im never the one to make initial contact. I always wait for them to hit me up first. And if they dont hit me up first, then Ill take it as an L and give up on it all together, feeling as though they lost interest.

WNS

 

[luigitheking]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Guys Im seriously all ++%@%+ up, no lie

That whole failure of being aggressive and making the first is what really $%+*! me over

-Every girl Ive been with, has been the one to make initial contact with me. Theres only been one girl that I can remember where I went up to her and asked for her number. And even she made the first move after we exchanged numbers.

- And when I get the numbers and we start talking, Im never the one to make initial contact. I always wait for them to hit me up first. And if they dont hit me up first, then Ill take it as an L and give up on it all together, feeling as though they lost interest.

WNS

 

[shorty doo wop]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Guys Im seriously all ++%@%+ up, no lie

That whole failure of being aggressive and making the first is what really $%+*! me over

-Every girl Ive been with, has been the one to make initial contact with me. Theres only been one girl that I can remember where I went up to her and asked for her number. And even she made the first move after we exchanged numbers.

- And when I get the numbers and we start talking, Im never the one to make initial contact. I always wait for them to hit me up first. And if they dont hit me up first, then Ill take it as an L and give up on it all together, feeling as though they lost interest.

on that last point sometimes u gotta pop it off and jones for a lil after that and she still not hittin u up then thats when u take the L

 

[shorty doo wop]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Guys Im seriously all ++%@%+ up, no lie

That whole failure of being aggressive and making the first is what really $%+*! me over

-Every girl Ive been with, has been the one to make initial contact with me. Theres only been one girl that I can remember where I went up to her and asked for her number. And even she made the first move after we exchanged numbers.

- And when I get the numbers and we start talking, Im never the one to make initial contact. I always wait for them to hit me up first. And if they dont hit me up first, then Ill take it as an L and give up on it all together, feeling as though they lost interest.

on that last point sometimes u gotta pop it off and jones for a lil after that and she still not hittin u up then thats when u take the L

 

[chrisphreezy]

How old are you op? And I can understand what your sayin. You just gotta go out on a limb sometimes and be the more of the aggressor

 

[chrisphreezy]

How old are you op? And I can understand what your sayin. You just gotta go out on a limb sometimes and be the more of the aggressor

 

[speakup23]

Originally Posted by Chrisphreezy

How old are you op? And I can understand what your sayin. You just gotta go out on a limb sometimes and be the more of the aggressor

Im 20

You would think I was 15 with all this talk. But yea youre right. Im not much of a risk taker I will admit, due to me having such a fragile mind state. But at the same time, not taking that risk is killing me just as equally, if not more, than not taking that risk.

 

[speakup23]

Originally Posted by Chrisphreezy

How old are you op? And I can understand what your sayin. You just gotta go out on a limb sometimes and be the more of the aggressor

Im 20

You would think I was 15 with all this talk. But yea youre right. Im not much of a risk taker I will admit, due to me having such a fragile mind state. But at the same time, not taking that risk is killing me just as equally, if not more, than not taking that risk.

 

[luigitheking]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Originally Posted by Chrisphreezy

How old are you op? And I can understand what your sayin. You just gotta go out on a limb sometimes and be the more of the aggressor

Im 20

You would think I was 15 with all this talk. But yea youre right. Im not much of a risk taker I will admit, due to me having such a fragile mind state. But at the same time, not taking that risk is killing me just as equally, if not more, than not taking that risk.

Yo I can relate to you with most of the stuff you've said, I've been having the same mind state lately but have been trying to just be like +#@! it and just do whatever.

 

[luigitheking]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Originally Posted by Chrisphreezy

How old are you op? And I can understand what your sayin. You just gotta go out on a limb sometimes and be the more of the aggressor

Im 20

You would think I was 15 with all this talk. But yea youre right. Im not much of a risk taker I will admit, due to me having such a fragile mind state. But at the same time, not taking that risk is killing me just as equally, if not more, than not taking that risk.

Yo I can relate to you with most of the stuff you've said, I've been having the same mind state lately but have been trying to just be like +#@! it and just do whatever.

 

[you go boy]

just watch hitch and your straight

 

[c money 88 05]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

So Im talking to this girl I used to date and she says that Im awkward and I treat the females Im interested in more as friends than love interests. That my body language that I give off is very distant. From what shes telling me, Im guess the reason I feel constant rejection from girls that I talk to/date isnt be cause they dont like me/ want me. Its cause they feel as though Im rejecting them with the distant vibe I give off, and in turn act on it first.

Ive always put into question whether or not that was the case before, but talking to her def solidified that ideology. Ive always felt as though I wasnt good enough, didnt have enough money, wasnt good looking enough, so I tend to over compensate with my humor and Im guessing it really has bit me in the *+! on MULTIPLE occasions.So many failed relationships

 

Now Im gunna put my ego to the side and ask for some advice. Ill honestly take getting beat/flamed to death in this thread in order to get a few decent pieces of helpful advice. As embarrassing as it is to sit here and make this thread and admit to the fact that I really dont have a clue what it is Im doing when it comes to females and my relationships with them.

So Im asking to be molded in a sense. How do make a girl Im feeling, KNOW that Im really feeling them, and not make them feel as though all Im looking for is their friendship and that I really want to be with them as well?

I welcome the flaming too. Do what you gotta do NT FAMILY

man you aren't alone, I've realized I do this too ALL the time.

I've had my fair share of females in/out my life because of this, back in 09 I had females all around me all the time and each of them were interested in me at one point or another and wanted more I found out...but I called myself respecting their space/privacy/individuality/whatever that is when you don't be TOO aggressive so you don't scare them off. Then I just kinda lost each after not too long because I guess the progression was too slow(and I guess part of that was I had too many chicks I was juggling too,

kanye shrug). Eventually I got with my now-ex in a crazy !!@ backwards situation that I can't begin to explain

but it basically wasn't my doing it was the situation.

Now that i'm single again I see females interested sometimes(I'm also slow at picking up signals still) but I still put that space in there and it's still messing things up, and all I think about is how I JUST had the same thing happening to me in 09 when I was last single. AND NOW it's worse because I'm kinda rusty with meeting new females and I'm not in the same open situation I was in before on a college campus.

Basically I said that to say this, just go after it the way you want it, I was in a similar situation and that's the conclusion I'm coming to. It's weird when you first start trying to change your habits, just stay at it though and you'll be cool. And also understand your surroundings when you're doing your thing. Sometimes things are what they seem just because you're at a bar/club/whatever, that doesn't necessarily mean the same thing as you're at a lounge just chillin with one female for hours so when you go for it don't go the wrong way.
Stay up man, be cool

 

[you go boy]

just watch hitch and your straight

 

[c money 88 05]

Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

So Im talking to this girl I used to date and she says that Im awkward and I treat the females Im interested in more as friends than love interests. That my body language that I give off is very distant. From what shes telling me, Im guess the reason I feel constant rejection from girls that I talk to/date isnt be cause they dont like me/ want me. Its cause they feel as though Im rejecting them with the distant vibe I give off, and in turn act on it first.

Ive always put into question whether or not that was the case before, but talking to her def solidified that ideology. Ive always felt as though I wasnt good enough, didnt have enough money, wasnt good looking enough, so I tend to over compensate with my humor and Im guessing it really has bit me in the *+! on MULTIPLE occasions.So many failed relationships

 

Now Im gunna put my ego to the side and ask for some advice. Ill honestly take getting beat/flamed to death in this thread in order to get a few decent pieces of helpful advice. As embarrassing as it is to sit here and make this thread and admit to the fact that I really dont have a clue what it is Im doing when it comes to females and my relationships with them.

So Im asking to be molded in a sense. How do make a girl Im feeling, KNOW that Im really feeling them, and not make them feel as though all Im looking for is their friendship and that I really want to be with them as well?

I welcome the flaming too. Do what you gotta do NT FAMILY

man you aren't alone, I've realized I do this too ALL the time.

I've had my fair share of females in/out my life because of this, back in 09 I had females all around me all the time and each of them were interested in me at one point or another and wanted more I found out...but I called myself respecting their space/privacy/individuality/whatever that is when you don't be TOO aggressive so you don't scare them off. Then I just kinda lost each after not too long because I guess the progression was too slow(and I guess part of that was I had too many chicks I was juggling too,

kanye shrug). Eventually I got with my now-ex in a crazy !!@ backwards situation that I can't begin to explain

but it basically wasn't my doing it was the situation.

Now that i'm single again I see females interested sometimes(I'm also slow at picking up signals still) but I still put that space in there and it's still messing things up, and all I think about is how I JUST had the same thing happening to me in 09 when I was last single. AND NOW it's worse because I'm kinda rusty with meeting new females and I'm not in the same open situation I was in before on a college campus.

Basically I said that to say this, just go after it the way you want it, I was in a similar situation and that's the conclusion I'm coming to. It's weird when you first start trying to change your habits, just stay at it though and you'll be cool. And also understand your surroundings when you're doing your thing. Sometimes things are what they seem just because you're at a bar/club/whatever, that doesn't necessarily mean the same thing as you're at a lounge just chillin with one female for hours so when you go for it don't go the wrong way.
Stay up man, be cool