Coping With a Difficult Breakup PART 2. UPDATE - Im Breaking Down Guys.....

[nyybaseball423]

This is possibly the best advice you could get. Something I never got and I made a mistake so listen to this.

If she TRULY loved/loves you, she'll want you back. Whether it be now, 2 weeks, 2 months, however long it may be, this won't be the last you'llhear from her.

Here's where you'll be faced with a tough decision because it's an easy smash and after that, it's even easier to catch feelings, again.

You could either go back to her and start another vicious cycle of break ups because lets face it, if she did this to you now, it will take a while for her tochange her ways. Unless something drastically changes, you will be stuck at square one if you do decide to get back together.

Or you could

Stand up for what you feel is right, think about yourself first and say to yourself that she did you dirty and you are no longer willing to go through it withher even though you still may have those feelings for her. You will have to make this decision now, and not when you're faced with it because if you cometo terms with it now, it will be easy for you to say no to her when she tries to come back. Also, you'll either already have someone else or have gottenthat much closer with your friends or have something important going on in life, enough to not think about her as such an vital part of your life.

I can't give you advice on how to handle this current period, because everyone is different but I was in her shoes before. I did dirt and I did everythingto get her back. This was 2 years ago and we're still on and off after a total of 5 years together. I should've cut it off earlier but I know for afact that she's the best girl I'll ever have and I can't risk losing her over my wrongdoings.

In your case though, you gotta put your foot down and make sure she doesn't come back around you for a long time, long enough for her to grow up andrealize what she did and change that about her and chances are, by that time, you'll find someone better.

Trust me, I've been through this. Thank me later.

 

[mikejordache23]

PAU Im in the same spot as you. All of the answers to your questions are in this thread.
Also see the post ballislife made about motivational quotes, that post is so inspirational and uplifting (big BIG ups ballislife!)
and since I found it I have been reading through it a few times a day.

Just try and stay productive. Stay positive.

 

[sauuceking]

Extremely good advice in here. One of the realest threads I've read yet here on NT.

 

[renarene]

Originally Posted by Politics As Usual 22

We were in love for 2 years. We broke up once before for a month, and when I asked why she's being so different recently she replies by saying "shes afraid that I'm going to leave her and hurt her again" even though she was the one pushing to get back together

.

How did you hurt her the first time? Perhaps she lost some respect for you at that point and never gained it back. Once that happens it's hardto work in reverse within the progression of a relationship. Not to say that you C. Breezy her on a regular basis. But it seems you are leaving out some ofyour other controlling tendencies for the sake of this thread. She calls to "talk" to you, and you TELL her to come over............

You also stated you told her to stop drinking in order to "stay with you" and to "keep the relationship going". A relationship should beself sustaining. Once you start laying down ultimatums, you loose respect for EACHOTHER and its downhill. If ya girl is just a sloppy drunk, and you justwanted her to control it, that's different. But its a little of a heavy burden on yourself and her to let the outcome of a relationship rely on whether ornot she drinks. I think she perhaps felt trapped, and b/c of that ultimately took actions to cause guilt, and couldn't find a way out of it.

Time will help you to get over it. It just seems right now the two of you aren't compatible.

 

[diego]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

Originally Posted by truubrasilian33

Originally Posted by Nawth21

You snatched her phone?

together or not, thats a **$$@ move

how was a dck moove cause of that the dude found out she was cheating...

comprehension fail? its a __ move cuz he snatched the phone...

You seem like someone that has stuff on your phone that you wouldnt want your man to see.
Theres way bigger Ls that took place that night other than snatching that phone.

Why you still stuck on that?

What would you do if youre arguing with your man and suddenly he gets a text. From the corner of your eye you see that the text came from a"Kimber..." the rest you cant see. When you ask him who that is he tells you its "Dennis".
What would you do in the heat of THAT moment?

Its so easy for us to sit here and rationalize the whole situation from the comfort of not being in that situation.

Seriously though, what would you right at that point?

 

[backpacker23]

Yo fam your story sounds a lil smiliar to mine. I went out with my ex for two and a half yrs and we were very attached to each other. When i first started goinout with her i told her that i didnt like most of friends b/c they were mostly real close to a lot of dudes if u catch my drift. She started seeing that andalso her friends sold her out alot of times. She stopped hanging out wit them and what not. Well, a couple yrs later her friends started talkin to her andwanting to hang out wit her. Thats when things started gettin ugly. I thought i was going to break up with her cuz she started changin and not wanting to hangout with me. SO my ex decided to break up with me on my B-DAY. ON MY B-DAY FAM. How messed up is that.

It took me a while to get over her. especially cuzthanksgiving and christmas was around the corner. It took me about a yr to get over her.

 

[milbert]

What I realized is the person in a relationship who cares the least has all the power.


This x a million :/ michelle

 

[jwalker123]

this story had me lmao

 

[backpacker23]

Damn, son keep your head up, i know its hard and its an unbearable pain, that no matter what ppl tell you it wont heal that pain. I imagine the nights seemvery long (Pause). The best way to get over her is like the other Nt'ers said try to cut off all forms of communication with her, even though its painfulit will help in the long run. Who knows maybe there is somebody better out there for you, try and look at it from the positive perspective.

 

[politics as usual 22]

Hey guys thank you all for all the advice, it's really helping me.

Tonight I went to the gym and hit it harder than I have in a LONG time. I had a motivation and FIRE I hadn't felt for at least 2-3 years. like a FIRE in mystomach to succeed more than I ever had before, I almost cried in the middle of my set

But yeah, I know it was probably just the creatine and endomorphins talking.

To the guy that ask how I hurt her before, I had broken up with her before about 3-4 months ago, and I completely cut all communication with her because Ithought it was best for us. I told her I loved her but I knew the mature thing to do was to walk away from the situation. That's how I hurt her, I left hercompletely and exited her life. Nothing shady though, I remained faithful.

Im bookmarking this thread and gonna read through it everyday.

I do still love her, but after what she put me through, I couldn't allow myself to take her back, if she ever wanted me back. She has put me through toomuch pain in the past few weeks and her actions speak a helluva lot louder than her words.

Keep the advice coming fellas, you have no idea how much it's helping.

NT

 

[mh602]

forget about her dog, there are so many fine a#@ ladies out there. its easy to fall in love and think shes everything u want. when in reality shes nothin. youcan replace that chic in a heartbeat especially a liar and cheater it seems

 

[trueballer507]

eight2one wrote:

What I realized is the person in a relationship who cares the least has all the power.
This is so true...

 

[pip777]

Originally Posted by trueballer507

eight2one wrote:

What I realized is the person in a relationship who cares the least has all the power.

This is so true...

 

[kidufc]

Originally Posted by Nawth21

You snatched her phone?

together or not, thats a **$$@ move

sometimes you have to do it to find the truth.. to the OP I've been in the exact situation.. I mean exactly. Its hard at first .. I did wat you did, made apost on nt but provided pictures.. but on the real, it takes alot of time, I've literally stayed in my room for a year and half only to eat, use therestroom and get a haircut. Going out wasn't te same so staying home was the only way for me to deal with it. But ppl handle things differently, find youeniche and go for it. just remember don't let it happen to you againJJ I've said this to myself from time to time but it seems like every new girl thatcomes around my way I fall hard for and it doesn't dseem to get right. I say after this experience you won't be the same man as you were before, maybestronger or weaker.. But these types of things changes a man. Good luck

 

[bluelamborghini]

Swallow your pride & call her.

She isn't drunk anymore so why not?

Tell her everything you're telling us, if you love her, why move on?

I just see this as a simple disagreement, you can't just leave after everyone of those ...

Stick it out.

 

[kidufc]

btw this thread is giving me so much to think about..

maybe its time to tell current girl I can't do %*!+ sanymore andbecome boyfriend number 3.

looong story..

 

[kidufc]

Originally Posted by blueLAMBORGHINI

Swallow your pride & call her.

She isn't drunk anymore so why not?

Tell her everything you're telling us, if you love her, why move on?

I just see this as a simple disagreement, you can't just leave after everyone of those ...

Stick it out.

if she's doing things behind his back and callin dudes baby and hiding it from him then there's no point of stickin it out.. Its just ' waiting tohappen for him... To the OP she's probably smashin right now.. Sorry to tell you but you'll be thinkin about this always till you heal... Find a betterchick that will respect you. kick rocks or pick rocks my dude.. Remember she's just another grain of sand at the beach..

 

[i drink your milkshake]

read the update---that %*!% sounds crazy


Breakin' up is hard to do though

 

[bluelamborghini]

Originally Posted by kidUFC

Originally Posted by blueLAMBORGHINI

Swallow your pride & call her.

She isn't drunk anymore so why not?

Tell her everything you're telling us, if you love her, why move on?

I just see this as a simple disagreement, you can't just leave after everyone of those ...

Stick it out.

if she's doing things behind his back and callin dudes baby and hiding it from him then there's no point of stickin it out.. Its just ' waiting to happen for him... To the OP she's probably smashin right now.. Sorry to tell you but you'll be thinkin about this always till you heal... Find a better chick that will respect you. kick rocks or pick rocks my dude.. Remember she's just another grain of sand at the beach..

*!*% HAPPENS in relationships.

That's why the divorce rate is so high in America (not saying they're married).

But, it's like, when something small happens, regardless of the love there... people are so quick to leave.

Build, build, and build together...don't let one rainy day mess up your construction...

 

[politics as usual 22]

Originally Posted by kidUFC

Originally Posted by blueLAMBORGHINI

Swallow your pride & call her.

She isn't drunk anymore so why not?

Tell her everything you're telling us, if you love her, why move on?

I just see this as a simple disagreement, you can't just leave after everyone of those ...

Stick it out.

if she's doing things behind his back and callin dudes baby and hiding it from him then there's no point of stickin it out.. Its just ' waiting to happen for him... To the OP she's probably smashin right now.. Sorry to tell you but you'll be thinkin about this always till you heal... Find a better chick that will respect you. kick rocks or pick rocks my dude.. Remember she's just another grain of sand at the beach..

@ dude telling me to call her and try to make it work.

Self respect.

Just because I love someone, and I'm emotionally attached to them does not mean they are right for me, her actions have proven that.

Once again, thanks everyone. Keep it coming

 

[bluelamborghini]

Originally Posted by Politics As Usual 22

Originally Posted by kidUFC

Originally Posted by blueLAMBORGHINI

Swallow your pride & call her.

She isn't drunk anymore so why not?

Tell her everything you're telling us, if you love her, why move on?

I just see this as a simple disagreement, you can't just leave after everyone of those ...

Stick it out.

if she's doing things behind his back and callin dudes baby and hiding it from him then there's no point of stickin it out.. Its just ' waiting to happen for him... To the OP she's probably smashin right now.. Sorry to tell you but you'll be thinkin about this always till you heal... Find a better chick that will respect you. kick rocks or pick rocks my dude.. Remember she's just another grain of sand at the beach..

@ dude telling me to call her and try to make it work.

Self respect.

That's the pride I'm talking about that isn't necessary.

I see why you guys aren't together.

 

[kidufc]

to the OP

the dream - I cant wait to hate you.

 

[politics as usual 22]

Thanks man hah

Los - Worst I eva had

Joint had me dying at the gym

 

[diego]

Originally Posted by kidUFC

to the OP

the dream - I cant wait to hate you.

Info on that song?
Is that a song that he ended up giving to another artist or something?

 

[kidufc]

Originally Posted by blueLAMBORGHINI

Originally Posted by Politics As Usual 22

Originally Posted by kidUFC

Originally Posted by blueLAMBORGHINI

Swallow your pride & call her.

She isn't drunk anymore so why not?

Tell her everything you're telling us, if you love her, why move on?

I just see this as a simple disagreement, you can't just leave after everyone of those ...

Stick it out.

if she's doing things behind his back and callin dudes baby and hiding it from him then there's no point of stickin it out.. Its just ' waiting to happen for him... To the OP she's probably smashin right now.. Sorry to tell you but you'll be thinkin about this always till you heal... Find a better chick that will respect you. kick rocks or pick rocks my dude.. Remember she's just another grain of sand at the beach..

@ dude telling me to call her and try to make it work.

Self respect.

That's the pride I'm talking about that isn't necessary.

I see why you guys aren't together.

from what I recall they broke up before and tried to make it work the second time.. Look what it got him.. I think there's no point in trying to make itwork the third time.. trting to make things work and still having that feeling in your hurt where she constantly lies to you, disrespected you etc.. Justisn't healthy I get where you're coming from blue lambo but sometimes you just have to keep it movin