what are the benefits for a man to get married?

[Sir San Diego]

Haven't read through the thread, but I just couldn't see getting my bread to dude's level and just dumping it off to a kid that I barely know. I might as well give it to the bm and hope for the best. She would have had more influence than me anyway and best believe when she's down and out she will benefit because who is the kid going to look out for, a dad who was hardly around or his mother who was always there?

Kids need both parents, married or not. And I feel like kids who have a regularly active father in their lives along with a mother have a better shot at life. When you're dying that money won't be by your bedside with fond memories. When you're sick that money will only pay someone to take care of you, but love can't be bought.

 

[cedric ceballos]

On marriage though. I think when marriage is done right its a wonderful thing. That whole potential of being with someone you truely love and grow old with them is a great thing when its legit and the two sides know eachother real well and are accepting of their strengths and flaws. I don't know his situation personally but ksteezys marriage seems like a marriage done right from everything he posts and I give him props on that.

The concept of marriage has become very flawed to alot of people though. Lots of people are quick to rush into a marriage without taking the time to really know their partner or understand them and the room for failure becomes that more higher. Also people are way more willing to get a divorce rather then try and sort things out and stick with their spouse through thick and thin. An argument can lead to a quick divorce. Back in the day society frowned upon divorce, now its seen as being common and normal. People are quick to jump into a marriage and just as quick to jump out as soon as the slightest bit of turbulence arrives.

Its some girl I was smashing regularly earlier this year. I came to find out that the whole time I was hitting it she was engaged and was living with her fiancée. I was stunned, she told me she wanted to leave him for me. I stopped messing with her, and come to find out she was smashing 4 other dudes regularly while with her fiancée. She ended up dumping him, kicking him out the house and kept the car he bought her.

This was in April. A few days ago I saw her posting pics on ig with some dude talking about how she found the man of her dreams and was happily married and the pic had a marriage certificate in it. To me personally I think that girl is making a complete mockery out of marriage. Just 5 months ago she was engaged to another man, getting through by like 5 different dudes who like me probably had no clue she was engaged and now shes married less then half a year later. She just needs a divorce by thanksgiving to complete the 1 year bird cycle which is the equal of a MLB player getting the triple crown

 

[ksteezy]

Haven't read through the thread, but I just couldn't see getting my bread to dude's level and just dumping it off to a kid that I barely know. I might as well give it to the bm and hope for the best. She would have had more influence than me anyway and best believe when she's down and out she will benefit because who is the kid going to look out for, a dad who was hardly around or his mother who was always there?

Kids need both parents, married or not. And I feel like kids who have a regularly active father in their lives along with a mother have a better shot at life. When you're dying that money won't be by your bedside with fond memories. When you're sick that money will only pay someone to take care of you, but love can't be bought.

You said the L word


**reported.

 

[al audi]

Brolic. True. To each their own though.

 

[Sir San Diego]

Brolic. True. To each their own though.

No doubt. I'm not trying to sway that man, just trying to share my perspective.

My pops made some loot in his day. Had mult-million dollar businesses, but treated his family and wife like **** and when he lost it all he had it rough. I stayed down with him and patched up our relationship over years, but money can't buy happiness or love. The fun of having money, cars, clothes and **** will fade.

My pops had it all, so he thought. Now he's realizing what was important. Dude thought he knew it all and was hard headed and I told him to his face once, that those folks that he thinks are down for him are only loyal to his money. That if he ever lost it, he would see who really has his back. Years later he told my step-mom he should've listened.

People gotta learn on their own though.

My grandfather was a lot like my dude younghollywood. Not trying to put him on blast, but he had that same lifestyle "managing" women. He died lonely too.

 

[ksteezy]

You know what man....let me edit this out...it's pointless

 

[wr]

No doubt. I'm not trying to sway that man, just trying to share my perspective.

My pops made some loot in his day. Had mult-million dollar businesses, but treated his family and wife like **** and when he lost it all he had it rough. I stayed down with him and patched up our relationship over years, but money can't buy happiness or love. The fun of having money, cars, clothes and **** will fade.

My pops had it all, so he thought. Now he's realizing what was important. Dude thought he knew it all and was hard headed and I told him to his face once, that those folks that he thinks are down for him are only loyal to his money. That if he ever lost it, he would see who really has his back. Years later he told my step-mom he should've listened.

People gotta learn on their own though.

My grandfather was a lot like my dude younghollywood. Not trying to put him on blast, but he had that same lifestyle "managing" women. He died lonely too.

too much real life for me man. I have a similar situation with my pops. It's hard for him to realize that him personally being wealthy on his own does not necessarly trickle down to actually being a good dad and head of the fam. I sometimes get angry about it, but I also realize the poverty and helplessness he grew up in and the harsh truth a family friend put on me. That he just doesn't know how to exist in a nuclear familial structure and its up to me to figure out on my own.

his excuse is that everything he has sacrificed has been for our betterment, but its just tough dealing that cold emotion from him as my pops

 

[ksteezy]

too much real life for me man. I have a similar situation with my pops. It's hard for him to realize that him personally being wealthy on his own does not necessarly trickle down to actually being a good dad and head of the fam. I sometimes get angry about it, but I also realize the poverty and helplessness he grew up in and the harsh truth a family friend put on me. That he just doesn't know how to exist in a nuclear familial structure and its up to me to figure out on my own.

his excuse is that everything he has sacrificed has been for our betterment, but its just tough dealing that cold emotion from him as my pops

Money isn't everything, that's the bottom line, I LOVE MONEY BTW



Sorry about that homey

 

[Sir San Diego]

I hear you. My pops was 1 of 11 kids.

He grew up dirt poor too. So yeah, I guess when some dudes have that drive they just go OD with it. My pops was proud of the fact that he showed no emotions. He's different now though.

 

[younghollywood]

No doubt. I'm not trying to sway that man, just trying to share my perspective.

My pops made some loot in his day. Had mult-million dollar businesses, but treated his family and wife like **** and when he lost it all he had it rough. I stayed down with him and patched up our relationship over years, but money can't buy happiness or love. The fun of having money, cars, clothes and **** will fade.

My pops had it all, so he thought. Now he's realizing what was important. Dude thought he knew it all and was hard headed and I told him to his face once, that those folks that he thinks are down for him are only loyal to his money. That if he ever lost it, he would see who really has his back. Years later he told my step-mom he should've listened.

People gotta learn on their own though.

My grandfather was a lot like my dude younghollywood. Not trying to put him on blast, but he had that same lifestyle

"managing" women. He died lonely too.

We all can share perspectives, and that's how it worked out for ur pops and grandpa but I personally know many older dudes that had my arrangement and their kids are now successful grown ppl.  My arrangement is not something new/groundbreaking it's been done countless times before and the way it turns out varies from situation to situation like any other arrangement.  It's unfortunate your pops lost his fortune but thats how money works it can come and go and imo its better to have had it and lost it than to never have had it.  I'm blessed to have a ton of good ppl around me too tho, my cousins and close homies that are like my brothers all pretty much are doing pretty well for themselves for the most part even if some of them may not be millionaires.  These are all dudes I came up with since we all lived in different hoods hustling for jordans and ****.

And from what you said earlier about giving my money to my baby mamas, neither of them really are struggling themselves.  My son's mother is a make up artist with a pretty good clientele and also started up a organic skin care line with some partners that's distributed in colombia.  My daughter's mother is a model signed with Marilyn Agency in Paris, easily top agency along with Ford Models.  She's definitely not supermodel status but she's got a book packed with tearsheets so she definitely commands a nice rate for gigs.  They could both do without my money but I contribute because they're my kids and we all do our part, and I also want all the doors to be opened to them possible.  I'm going to make sure they get a better education and opportunities than I had growing up.  

 

[|A-Man|]

Just honestly answer me this question, what's more of an IDEAL situation?...1 parent/split household or a household where both parents are equally present committed/married?...

Be honest fam, this shouldn't be debatable...

It honestly depends. You can be committed and married and still be a bad parent. I'VE SEENT IT

 

[eiddyfouw]

If I remember correctly, you said you managed reality stars/models for a living. Judging by what I've seen on reality shows, those sorts of women are not the type that I would want to spend time with let alone get involved sexually/romantically. Do you think having to work around attention-seeking women influences your thoughts on the subject at all? I'm sure you interact with plenty of more normal women in your personal life, but I'd imagine that having to interact with the attention-seeking reality star type could influence your thoughts on the subject. The whole parental relationship status as an indicator of one's views towards marriage has been thrown around, but I think also the type of women one interacts with on a daily basis both professionally and socially definitely influences how one feels about marriage. It could also just be a personality thing. Your thoughts? Apologies in advance if I'm off base on my character judgement of female reality stars.

There's so many females that are attention-seeking period I would say.  I'll say that most of my clients and former clients are crazy, which is why there's very few men out there that can do what I do, you pretty much have to be a psychologist because your managing personalities which is just as if not more important than dealing with the business side of it.  They get plenty of attention though, even the glamour models I manage you wouldn't believe the amount of dudes that are constantly trying to offer them the world.  

I definitely deal with a lot of these women that are in magazines/tv/internet etc. on a social basis as well since a lot of them are my friends with benefits or just platonic friends.  I don't think it's influenced my view on marriage because like I've said many times I don't subscribe to the institution of marriage.  It's definitely a personality/just the way I'm wired thing.  

I'm just who I am, I've said nothing but the truth here, lol I don't know if I've ever wrote this much on any thread but it's been fun since these last couple days I'm mostly in my home office doing bookings/emails before going to the fight tomorrow.  

Side note...

See, that right there, I couldn't deal with. I'm constantly trying to take the emotion out of business. It's one of the things I struggle to deal with, regarding some women in our day to day business. I don't want to hear your problems, and I sure as hell don't want your problems to slow us down in any way. More power to you for finding that patience and balance, but I just can't deal with emotional/personality management when the reason we are here today is to make this money. I wouldn't last one week in running your management business, other businesses, sure, but that one, not a chance. I would have fired people...

 

[timbo109]

Money isn't everything

This.


Also, on the monogamy is a social construct point. I'm not sure that's accurate. There's evidence out there that suggests that monogamy has some roots in human evolution, at least in hunter-gatherer societies. Basically, monogamy ensured survival of offspring in those sorts of societies. Polygyny wasn't completely whipped out though in societies where men could build up a surplus of resources. Take a look at this article to start: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0140175079900010

Perhaps, the take home message is that some people are more biologically suited for monogamy, while some are not.

 

[fresh out dabox]

Y'all are some weird *** creep dudes bruh

or just young

 

[SoleByThePound]

 money can't buy happiness or love. The fun of having money, cars, clothes and **** will fade.
 

Saying something like that on NT will get you crucified Brolic. I swear a majority of the population here would sell their soul for wealth.

 

[peteweezy]

Product of their environment, most will just become comfortable with that and the ones that don't are the exceptions.  As long as they still got cable tv, smart phone even if its a prepaid, and some jordans a lota them feel good

And I hate that so much , you call them out that your a hater or its not their fault . Like why don't you want to do better ?

People usually dislike it for two reasons how you say it and/or if you yourself aren't to much better. If you a dude really doing it and respectfully come at somebody (esp if done in private) I've honestly never saw somebody react the way you described. It's when dude be on they public soapbox when most have a problem from what I've saw.

Also going by YH definition most of the US is content and what's really so bad about that? Everybody can't be ballers unless cats living in the streets truthfully most aren't going to be motivated to change outside of having the basics and dreaming about the extra stuff. I let cats live and if anything I just try to lead by example and hope seeing somebody close do good would motivate them to do get higher themselves.

 

[rrlegend]

Yeah I'm not turning my nose up at them or talking down on them when I speak about their situation . I ask legitimate questions like why don't you want to do better because everything I've done can be done by anybody that's not afraid to get out there comfort zone and grind it out for a few months to a year. Now I did take a huge gamble by doing some things I shouldn't done but I was able to leave that alone after getting what I wanted out of it and not letting the hunger for more consume me. I guess I just don't see the point of complaining unless your gonna put some work in to change the problem and that's where the convo comes in on my part. I'm struggling to get this , I need this, I want that, well maybe if you got up and did something those needs and wants and struggles would be an after thought.

 

[Sir San Diego]

Saying something like that on NT will get you crucified Brolic. I swear a majority of the population here would sell their soul for wealth.

You probably know me well enough on here to know that I don't really care enough to have people like me by saying what's popular. I'm not even like that in day to day life. I just say how I feel and if someone doesn't like it, I don't lose any sleep.

 

[frostythepoptart]

This is weird but I 100% agree with steezy......

Not blindly however, I believe you need to think, and tread lightly. And honestly I believe you should be married, before you get married.

As in the ceremony and papers are just a foramility but your committed relationship should have started long ago.



at all girls should be virgins til married and do this and that, meanwhile dudes are ut there on the prowl to bang a new chick every week.

Can't have your cake and eat it too

 

[frostythepoptart]

Saying something like that on NT will get you crucified Brolic. I swear a majority of the population here would sell their soul for wealth.

yup. where do I sign?

I'll be unhappily rich for 4 years and figure it out, then get by and have waves of happiness mixed in with financial stress.

 

[Sir San Diego]

Would you consider moochers, family members asking you for help all the time and managing a business financial stress?

All that glitters ain't gold man. I'm not in here proclaiming to be anti-wealth or anti-money, but it doesn't cure depression or fix all of the problems life throws at you. Sometimes money creates more problems than you were ever aware of. How about blackmail? I've seen that go down firsthand.

Seriously wanted to off dude too, but what can you do when hands are tied?

 

[eiddyfouw]

Would you consider moochers, family members asking you for help all the time and managing a business financial stress?

All that glitters ain't gold man. I'm not in here proclaiming to be anti-wealth or anti-money, but it doesn't cure depression or fix all of the problems life throws at you. Sometimes money creates more problems than you were ever aware of. How about blackmail? I've seen that go down firsthand.

Seriously wanted to off dude too, but what can you do when hands are tied?

One of my favourite books, Felix Dennis How To Get Rich. He says in it, part of the problem with getting money, is that you have to start to seclude yourself, even from family. Not because you think you're better than people, but because it's the only way to protect yourself. Otherwise every week you'll have some family member with a "business idea" worth investing, and if you say yes to one, then you've really opened pandora's box.

If anyone needs to see examples of it, have a look at that ESPN 30 for 30 Broke, and here other players saying the exact same thing.

 

[Sir San Diego]

One reason my pops started having issues is because he brought family in to run one of his businesses and this dude started copping Rolies and whips, treating his nose and tricking. He has mad kids now (dude I'm talking about, don't consider him family anymore) btw.

I didn't even think about it, but he was blackmailing at one point too. :x

When people have dirt on you and you have money, sometimes you have to break bread. It's crazy.

 

[rell826]

Family values out the door in this thread...borderline feel bad for some of you, may be all gravy now, hope that it remains that way 20 years from now.

Pretty much what this thread boils down to. How many of you grew up in broken homes to where y'all have this view on not only marriage, but monogamy in general?

 

[x Buddha Bless x]

I'd also bring up that it's not like all married couples that are committed to being parents and may want that nuclear family structure end up happily ever after. Divorce is always a possibility.

So then you can ask yourself which is preferable a split from the start or a divorce down the road. If you already come to an understanding with the mother of your children you can still be good parents even if she moves on to and gets a bf or married. It can work in a divorce situation as well but that's still breaking up the family structure the child knew most of their lives as opposed to the child who never knew that structure and grew up with their parents not being married being the normal situation.